There are many ways you can go about this. One idea is to talk to a therapist or mental health or substance abuse specialist to advise you on how to talk to your loved one about their alcohol use. You might consider reading articles, books, or websites, or accessing other free resources on AUDs, too.
Generally, people drink to either increase positive emotions or decrease negative ones. This results in all drinking motives falling into one of four categories: enhancement (because it's exciting), coping (to forget about my worries), social (to celebrate), and conformity (to fit in).
And not everyone who develops a drinking problem is an alcoholic. In fact, there are plenty of healthy adults who drink every day without ever developing an addiction to alcohol. This is one of the reasons why managing alcohol consumption is a very different process than managing drug use.
Express your concerns in a caring way.
Tell your loved one about the worries you have regarding their drinking and the effects it's having on their health, your relationship, and the family as a whole. Try to remain neutral and be compassionate rather than judge your loved one's behavior or try to shame them.
Stay calm and approach them in a non-aggressive stance, open, empty hands in a friendly, non authoritative manner. Try not to tell them what to do, but offer them choices and make your movements nice and slow. Be confident yet non-threatening with them and show genuine concern for their well-being.
Naltrexone (Vivitrol), acamprosate, and disulfiram are FDA approved to treat alcohol use disorder (AUD). Topiramate (Topamax) and gabapentin (Neurontin) are other medications that have been shown to help reduce drinking, but they're not FDA approved for this use.
Other Common Alcoholic Personality Traits
Others will be irritable, anxious, and aggressive both when they drink and when they go through alcohol withdrawal. Alcohol dependence can also make a person impatient and easily aggravated. Additionally, you might notice impulsiveness or other erratic traits.
Individuals with alcohol use disorder appear to show deficits in empathy compared with healthy controls. Deficits are particularly pronounced for older individuals and for cognitive (versus affective) empathy.
Giving up on an alcoholic spouse is justified when you've tried everything to help them, and they aren't willing to commit, or when you can't take care of yourself or your family anymore. If you and your children are at risk or exposed to uncontrollable, unpredictable behavior, it's time to leave.
Approach Your Partner With Compassion
Give examples of why you think their drinking is a problem, such as how it's affected their health, job, friendships, and your relationship with each other. For instance, you may begin with, “I'm feeling very concerned about your health and our relationship.
Your partner's drinking habits can also be affected by traumatic or significant life events, including losing a job or having a baby together, so it can be important to consider this before discussing how to address the issue together.
People with alcoholism — technically known as alcohol dependence — have lost reliable control of their alcohol use. It doesn't matter what kind of alcohol someone drinks or even how much: Alcohol-dependent people are often unable to stop drinking once they start.
“I tell my bartenders to look for four major physical components when determining if someone has had too much to drink: bloodshot and glazed eyes, slurred speech, decreased motor control and negative or aggressive interactions with other guests.”
Although it may not feel like your place, it's not unreasonable to ask your significant other to get help for their addiction. You are their life partner, and their addiction has a serious effect on your relationship. However, it's often a difficult subject to approach.
Knowing When you Have a Drinking Problem
You have not been able to cut down or stop drinking on your own, even though you have tried or you want to. You spend a lot of time drinking, being sick from drinking, or getting over the effects of drinking. Your urge to drink is so strong, you cannot think about anything else.
Dishevelled appearance. If you're struggling with alcohol abuse disorder, you may start to neglect your personal hygiene and grooming, as these become less of a priority for you. You may also look exhausted as a result of dehydration and lack of sleep, which are often associated with heavy alcohol use.
But it's a different story if you regularly drink heavily. For most men, that's defined as more than 4 drinks a day, or 14 or 15 in a week. For women, heavy drinking is more than 3 drinks in a day, or 7 or 8 per week. Too much alcohol can harm you physically and mentally in lots of ways.