Acknowledge the offense. Take responsibility for the offense, whether it was a physical or psychological harm, and confirm that your behavior was not acceptable. ...
In those cases, we can make amends in a broader sense by taking actions like donating money, volunteering our time or providing care. We can also make amends by living very purposefully within the bounds of our principles. This is known as making living amends.
What does it mean to make amends when you hurt someone?
Making amends means taking action to right the wrong you've done, and trying to restore balance with the other person. This can help the other person recover emotionally, help you repair the relationship, and restore your reputation.
You may not need to make direct amends for hurt feelings if: They involve someone you haven't seen in a long time and don't expect to see again. You really don't know whether the other party remembers what happened.
It is the words and actions that help move us past the situation to greener pastures where the person who was offended needs to rebuild trust in order to feel safe again. It is never too late to apologize, it is just a matter of how to do it properly.
Please accept my apology.” Don't try to justify what happened either; simply admit that your actions were wrong without explaining why they occurred in the first place. One way to recognize what you did wrong is by saying things like: I was wrong.
In Step Nine, we make amends to the individuals and institutions we have harmed. An amends is not merely a verbal apology — it is both an admission of wrongdoing, and the sincere intention to change the behavior in ourselves that caused such harm.
Recognize your mistake and understand what you did wrong. An apology doesn't mean much if we're just saying, “I'm sorry,” to get out of trouble with someone we care about. ...
“ You're *#@! % stupid. ” “ I wish you were never born. ” “ No one is ever going to love you, you're so *#@! % fat and ugly. ” “ You never get anything right. ” “ You're worthless. ” These are mean and degrading things to say to someone.
Finding something positive to say to show you respect them, such as: “I appreciate you trusting me with this problem.” Asking gentle, open-ended questions to better understand what they're thinking and feeling, such as: “How come?”; “What do you think about …?”; “How do you feel about …?”
It's okay to hurt and it's okay to tell someone they hurt you. You want to honor your feelings knowing it's natural and normal to feel hurt and angry too! Remember to respect yourself!
Oftentimes it can be easier to forgive others than ourselves. First, however, it is important to learn to forgive yourself for the way you've hurt others- so that you can move forward in freedom instead of being consumed by guilt and shame over the past.
Guilt, Fishkin says, is associated with activity in the prefrontal cortex, the logical-thinking part of the brain. Guilt can also trigger activity in the limbic system. (That's why it can feel so anxiety-provoking.)
Guilt and regret are natural but can hold us back from doing things to make situations better for those we hurt. Working to move forward will help those we hurt. It's the best response when we make severe mistakes.
Making amends is part of the process of not only seeking forgiveness from others, letting them know how sorry we are, but also in working to forgive ourselves. Self-forgiveness is a crucial part of recovery. Without it, we are likely to fall into our same old patterns in order to cope with the pain.
Making amends is a crucial component of growth and healing, not just for you, but for the people you've hurt. By making amends, you'll have the opportunity to reconnect with people you've harmed as a result of your addiction. It might not be easy.
