The emotional process can be broken down into 5 stages: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. D-A-B-D-A. Those 5 stages represent grief over the loss of a relationship and marriage.
In summary, it is important to evaluate the current state of the relationship, consider the long-term prospects, check the presence of abuse or infidelity, and think about the impact of the decision on yourself and others before making a decision to stay or leave a marriage.
If a temporary separation is done in the right way and for the right reasons, and there are clear agreements, it can help couples gain perspective on their relationship and actually strengthen it.
Statistically, 80% of couples who enter a marital separation end up divorcing. And, on average, they remain separated for three years before finalizing their divorce. On the other hand, 10% of those who separate end up reuniting, on average within two years.
There's a term for this: walkaway wife syndrome. This term is sometimes used to describe instances where a spouse – often the wife – has felt alone, neglected, and resentful in a deteriorating marriage and decides it's time to end it.
A 2002 study found that two-thirds of unhappy adults who stayed together were happy five years later. They also found that those who divorced were no happier, on average, than those who stayed together. In other words, most people who are unhappily married—or cohabiting—end up happy if they stick at it.
Loneliness. Many people say that the loneliness is the hardest part. It takes a very long time to get used to being single. Not only have you lost your partner, and perhaps your best friend, but you have possibly also lost your in-laws and the extended family that you married into.
Coming Together After a Legal Separation
That said, reconciliation after a legal separation is not especially common. According to U.S. statistics, 87 percent of couples who legally separate eventually get a divorce, while only 13 percent choose to come back together.
One effective approach is the 'No-Contact Rule' for returning to your Ex. This strategy refers to entirely cutting off your communication, detaching yourself from that toxic member of your life and moving on from your ex following the breakup. Usually, the no-contact period must extend for at least 30-60 days.
Maintaining the sanctity of a healthy separation, treat your spouse like a business partner by answering emails, receiving phone calls and reply to text messages. It is not a time to talk ill of each other. Your aim is to give yourself space to reflect without their influence.
"Children who are separated from their parents at an older age often experience problems in school and may exhibit regressive behavior. Older children may develop anxiety, depression or behavioral problems. Some may even self-harm in order to cope," she added.
Emotional neglect occurs when a spouse fails on a regular basis to attend to or respond to their partner's emotional needs. This is marked by a distinct lack of action by one person toward the feelings of the other, including an absence of awareness, consideration, or response to a spouse's emotions.
In the context of a marriage, the feelings of neglect, being left out, and not being heard are collectively referred to as emotional abandonment. It occurs when one partner is so preoccupied with their own concerns that they are unable to notice the struggles, concerns, or problems their partner is experiencing.
Close relationships require meaningful time together. Some couples drift apart due to factors that keep them from being together. These can include being physically apart for long periods of time, working long hours or different hours than your spouse, working multiple jobs, and frequent travel.
While there are countless divorce studies with conflicting statistics, the data points to two periods during a marriage when divorces are most common: years 1 – 2 and years 5 – 8.
Divorce rates peak in March and August. There are a number of reasons these two months see a large increase in divorce and separation. People are less likely to divorce during the winter holidays since these events revolve around time spent with family.
Nearly 70 percent of divorces are initiated by the wife. In addition, over 50% of divorced wives never want to remarry while only about 30% of men express that same sentiment. Seeing as most divorces are initiated by women, men can use this statistic to make sure they are being mindful of their wives' needs and wants.