To keep them hooked, remind the narcissist that you're high value. Maybe you have a high-status job, a large social circle, or a talent that makes you sought after. If they're always thinking what a catch you are, they'll be obsessed with keeping you.
Being accommodating to a narcissist will make them instantly attracted to you. An easy-going nature and being flexible indicates to them that they can make you compromise to suit their life. They don't believe they should ever be the ones to adjust so naturally they'll be drawn to adjustable people.
Truth 1: Narcissists fall in love with their fantasy of you.
The reality is that narcissistic love is quite shallow and ultimately depends on how perfectly you embody their fantasies and how well you are meeting their needs. It is all about them and not about you.
Ultimately, it is important to remember that narcissists can and do love—but their love may never be the same as a healthy, unconditional bond.
Narcissists can love, but this superficial and momentary affection serves as a way to get what they want from others. While their role as caring partners, parents, or friends may appear genuine, a lack of empathy and devotion to themselves renders narcissists unable to develop meaningful relationships.
Narcissists want to have their own way. They tend to be rule-oriented and controlling. They are inflexible. It benefits narcissists to have partners who are willing to go with the flow and not make a big deal over anything, ever.
They can show great interest in romantic prospects and seduce with generosity, expressions of love, flattery, sex, romance, and promises of commitment. Amorous narcissists (Don Juan and Mata Hari types) are adept and persuasive lovers and may have many conquests, yet remain single.
They will often deploy a variety of narcissistic relationship patterns such as manipulation, charismatic, and exploitational tactics in order to ensure that their own needs and wants are met. As a spouse, you may be the subject of their manipulation and abuse, while your partner treats everyone else positively.
For a narcissist to be happy, you'll always have to accept their version of events as the truth. Otherwise, you'll be on the receiving end of their narcissistic rage. Even if you do everything they ask, a narcissist will still try and undermine you at every opportunity.
While narcissists throw around the love word often, it does not mean that they will treat you in a loving, kind, compassionate, and/or sensitive way. Narcissists only care about themselves.
Narcissists use sex and the pretence of emotion to control others. They like to be in control, and often derive pleasure from giving or withdrawing sex or affection to this end. 10. Narcissists are not really capable of feeling guilty, and feel no shame about lying if they think that it will get them what they want.
Empaths and highly sensitive people can be more susceptible to the charm of those who have NPD or narcissistic qualities, says Zinn.
Need for validation and admiration: Narcissistic people have a constant need to be admired and valued. When they no longer receive this validation from their ex-partner, they may become obsessive in the hope of re-establishing this source of approval.
A key trait of narcissists is confidence – they are attractive because they think of themselves as attractive. They believe in their own value, so this confidence and charisma become qualities that pull others in, that makes them the life and soul of the party.
As our study shows, many narcissists also want to love and be loved as much as non-narcissists do. At the same time, narcissists' well-being hinges on power. Therefore, if you want to please a narcissist, submit. Give them the power they so eagerly need.
Final Thoughts on the Red Flags of a Narcissist
Narcissistic individuals often exhibit traits such as a lack of empathy, manipulative behavior, and an inflated sense of self-importance. It's essential to understand that dealing with a narcissist can be draining and challenging.
“To what extent do you agree with this statement: 'I am a narcissist.'”
He has been published in peer-reviewed journals, including the Journal of Clinical Psychology. Narcissistic relationships can last anywhere from a few days or weeks to many years.
The narcissist chooses to marry the person they believe they can have the most control over. This isn't meant to victim blame and to say the partner or spouse has done anything wrong. The narcissist knows that other people are caring and want to please, so they look for people that have these qualities.
Narcissists thrive on getting attention, feeling special, and having control.
The narcissist does not want you to know how that there are times he is astounded by the fact you know him as well as you do. The narcissist does not want you to know that at times he is stupefied by the fact you have allowed yourself to be fooled by his trickery and deceit.
Low self-worth/confidence/esteem is at the core of a narcissism. This low sense of self naturally makes it extremely easy for them to become jealous – very jealous. And not just about anyone potentially interested in you romantically, but anyone or anything that can take the focus off of them.