Talking to a shy person can sometimes be difficult, especially if you feel that you're the only one talking. The trick is to find topics that are engaging and to make the other person feel comfortable. You can even communicate with them online if in-person chats aren't working.
Begin by saying "hi" or by greeting them in a polite manner, then ask them questions that reveal more things about them. This will make them open up to you. Do not sound really clingy or intrusive, make the conversation sound as if it is coming out naturally.
Don't tell the person to speak up.
For example, avoid saying things like, "You're so quiet! Why are you so quiet?" or "Stop being such a wallflower! Pipe up!" If you want to encourage your shy friend open up, say something instead like, "You always have such interesting stories, I'd love to hear more!"
What Causes Shyness? Shyness emerges from a few key characteristics: self-consciousness, negative self-preoccupation, low self-esteem and fear of judgment and rejection. Shy people often make unrealistic social comparisons, pitting themselves against the most vibrant or outgoing individuals.
They are self-reliant.
Introverts are self-sufficient, and it's why they're so quiet. A quiet person's personality is inward, which means they naturally search themselves for comfort. Since they keep a small circle, they develop the habit of self-reliance by finding ways to cater to their needs.
Being an introvert just means that you prefer socializing differently than extroverts. Typical introverts like to spend social time with small groups rather than large ones, which may feel overwhelming and draining to them. They also tend to want to discuss “real” issues rather than making small talk.
Why do people dislike a quiet person? Quiet people often observe first and only talk when they have something to say. Some can find this unsettling – they don't know what you're thinking, and this may make them uncomfortable.
Silence is not rude; rather, silence is a language of the wise that they prefer over the foolish tittle-tattle. These people understand the power of their words and use them carefully instead of speaking without thinking, resulting in breaking hearts and spreading lies.
Some common synonyms of silent are reserved, reticent, secretive, and taciturn. While all these words mean "showing restraint in speaking," silent implies a habit of saying no more than is needed.
Being an introvert doesn't affect how friendly you may be. Some people may think that introverts are unfriendly because they don't tend to have large groups of friends, and they may reflect on situations quietly rather than joining in on conversations at gatherings.
One reason why introverts make people uncomfortable is because they don't react to anything right away. Instead, they get very quiet and often are completely expressionless. Many people assume it's because introverts aren't interested, don't care, or believe whatever's out there on the table is bad, dumb, or trash.
Studies have found that introverts get more easily distracted than their extroverted counterparts. Because of this, they might be annoyed when someone steps into their office for a quick chat. They also get annoyed by interruptions when they speak.
Introverts, on the other hand, simply prefer not to spend lots of time interacting with other people. Introverts do appreciate being around people with whom they are close. They find engaging in "small talk" tedious, but do enjoy having deep, meaningful conversations. Introverts also tend to think before speaking.
Silence can mean many things in interpersonal relationships. It's ambiguous. It can express lots of different emotions ranging from joy, happiness, grief, embarrassment to anger, denial, fear, withdrawal of acceptance or love. What it means depends on the context.
Most psychologists indicate that it depends on the situation. When silence, or, rather, the refusal to engage in a conversation, is used as a control tactic to exert power in a relationship, then it becomes "the silent treatment," which is toxic, unhealthy, and abusive.
The silent treatment, or stonewalling, is a passive-aggressive form of manipulation and can be considered emotional abuse. It is a way to control another person by withholding communication, refusing to talk, or ignoring the person.
Severely shy people may have physical symptoms like blushing, sweating, a pounding heart or upset stomach; negative feelings about themselves; worries about how others view them; and a tendency to withdraw from social interactions. Most people feel shy at least occasionally.
Myth 5: Shy people have low self-esteem
Shyness can affect how you see yourself and may make you feel insecure in some aspects. While a person with low self-esteem might act shy or have a tendency to keep to themselves, it doesn't mean that someone who experiences shyness is also experiencing low self-esteem.
The shy-withdrawn type makes people question their abilities, experience imposter syndrome, and hesitate to speak or act because they fear they'll do something wrong. They're also prone to loneliness because they don't want to put themselves out there.