The narcissist tries to ignore it, talk it out of existence, or belittle its importance. If this crude mechanism of cognitive dissonance fails, the narcissist resorts to denial and repression of the humiliating material. He "forgets" all about it, gets it out of his mind and, when reminded of it, denies it.
According to this view, narcissists insult others to feel better about themselves. They might be particularly likely to make disparaging comments when they're feeling threatened in some way, afraid their flaws will be exposed.
They have contempt for responsibility, which they avoid and deflect onto others. They have contempt for trust, which they betray and violate. They have contempt for love, which they do not feel but use as a weapon against others who do. They have contempt for authenticity, which threatens their false facade.
Grooming a person, manipulating her into doubting her feelings, generating shame regarding her best qualities, and manipulatively creating dependency are four ways a narcissist destroys a person from the inside out.
When a narcissist gets humiliated they experience a narcissistic injury. This triggers their suppressed painful emotions and compromises their emotional stability. To stabilize themselves, narcissists could use narcissistic rage, self-victimization, and/or discarding to regain control of their painful emotions.
Silent Treatment Narcissists punish by ignoring. Then they let their victim off the hook by demanding an apology even though she isnt to blame. This is to modify her behavior. They also have a history of cutting others out of their life permanently over small things.
Humiliation is just another form of control. It's abusive behaviour and when a woman humiliates you it gives her a sense of power over you. Most likely they do this because they have very low self-esteem, and they want to feel superior.
A monumental weakness in the narcissist is the failure to look internally and flesh out what needs to be worked on. Then, of course, the next step is to spend time improving. The narcissist sabotages any possibility of looking deep within.
8 Triggers of a Narcissist's Rage
They don't get their way, even if what they want is unreasonable. They feel that they've been criticized, even if the critique is constructive or said kindly. They're not the center of attention. They're caught breaking rules or not respecting boundaries.
At the end of a relationship, narcissists may become combative, passive-aggressive, hostile, and even more controlling. People with NPD often fail to understand other people's needs and values. They are hyper focused on their egos, but do not account for how their actions affect others.
They will often act in a pretentious way in group settings, belittle others, and look to control conversations. While their self-concept is often an overinflated one, people with NPD typically have a fragile ego. Perceived criticism, threats or attack can be met with revenge, anger or isolation.
Narcissistic shame is an intense pain related to social failure, failure to be a true human being. It is a sense of being an inferior human being, exposed to social judgment in the midst of severe disintegration of the self.
Arguing with someone who has narcissistic traits can leave you feeling hurt and confused. People on the narcissism spectrum — from those with narcissistic traits to those with diagnosed narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) — may have an intense desire to win arguments, as it helps keep their ego intact.
To the narcissist, their gaslighting has worked and they can keep the upper hand. If you know the narcissist has insulted you, it is best to ignore them most times because they aren't open to discussions on how you feel or what they could do differently.
A common misconception is that narcissistic relationships are based on punishment. While these kinds of relationships often feel punishing to those in them because they can negatively affect self-esteem, it is not punishment that is operating to maintain a toxic relationship.
Red Flags When You're In a Relationship With a Narcissist
Downplays your emotions. Uses manipulative tactics to “win” arguments. Love bombing, especially after a fight. Makes you second-guess yourself constantly.
Although narcissists act superior, entitled and boastful, underneath their larger-than-life facade lies their greatest fear: That they are ordinary. For narcissists, attention is like oxygen. Narcissists believe only special people get attention.
Type As can also be dangerous to narcissists
Although they can be targeted, type A people can also become a narcissist's worst nightmare. One of the most important defenses against dark personalities is having strong boundaries yourself, and type A people are usually aware they have the right to build them.
Studies show that the tendency to make cruel remarks is a personality trait of narcissists, because they: See themselves as superior and more important than everyone else, and therefore more deserving.
Rage: Narcissists are insecure and when there is a narcissistic injury to their sense of self, they will rage. This is often done with yelling and insults hurled at the victim. During these rages, the narcissist can be the most damaging in their words.