Malignant narcissists begin their relationships with excessive amounts of contact, praise, flattery, and attention – this is known as love bombing. They use love bombing to groom their victims in order to get them invested in a fabricated future together – one that they never plan to deliver on.
Narcissistic Abusers Use Sob Stories To Groom Victims
When this type of grooming is occurring, victims may say things like: “I would leave, but he has abandonment issues already from his past” “He only hurts me because he has been so hurt”
During the grooming phase of the relationship, the Narcissist will feign an intense interest in target and ask a seemingly endless series of questions. The questions start off as casual and gradually shift to deeply personal inquiries about their hopes, goals, fears, and dreams.
Silent Treatment Narcissists punish by ignoring. Then they let their victim off the hook by demanding an apology even though she isnt to blame. This is to modify her behavior. They also have a history of cutting others out of their life permanently over small things.
MD. A person with narcissistic personality or narcissistic traits frequently uses manipulation tactics to influence and control others. Common examples of this include gaslighting, triangulation, love bombing, and many others.
After going through a traumatic event such as narcissistic abuse, it's common to suffer sudden mood swings accompanied by irritability. Or, you may find yourself feeling emotionless and like a robot. You might experience depersonalization where it feels as if everything around you is not accurate.
They can know they're hurting your feelings, but as long as it elevates their status, they may not care. Someone living with narcissism does cry. They can feel regret, remorse, and sadness. These emotions, however, don't often have roots in empathy.
They Take Responsibility for Everything. This is one of the main traits narcissists look for in their victims. If you are overly responsible and anxious about meeting other people's needs, this may make you a narcissist's perfect target. Narcissists never take accountability for their words and actions.
Breakups with narcissists don't always end the relationship. Many won't let you go, even when they are the ones who left the relationship, and even when they're with a new partner. They won't accept “no.” They hoover in an attempt to rekindle the relationship or stay friends after a breakup or divorce.
Narcissists may also display this insecurity through a tendency to be aggressive and controlling. Insecure narcissists often feel the need to dominate others, especially those they believe are weaker than themselves. Their aggressive nature is due in part to their fear of inadequacy and low self-esteem.
Narcissists can use fear as a way to bait their partner. They may make threats, use intimidation tactics, or create a sense of fear or unease in their partner in order to provoke a reaction. For example, a narcissist may threaten to leave the relationship or harm themselves if their partner doesn't do what they want.
A sense of entitlement might also lead someone with narcissistic personality to think anything they do for you is just the greatest. If they feel they don't get enough praise and recognition for this action, they might act like the victim: “I can't believe you act this way after all I've done for you!”
Malignant narcissists begin their relationships with excessive amounts of contact, praise, flattery, and attention – this is known as love bombing. They use love bombing to groom their victims in order to get them invested in a fabricated future together – one that they never plan to deliver on.
They will often deploy a variety of narcissistic relationship patterns such as manipulation, charismatic, and exploitational tactics in order to ensure that their own needs and wants are met. As a spouse, you may be the subject of their manipulation and abuse, while your partner treats everyone else positively.
Nurturing People Pleasers – They ideal target loves to take care of other people and is always counted on to help everyone. Since a narcissist must be the center of attention and needs everything to be about them, a pleaser is the perfect target.
One of the first things a narcissist does it isolate you from family and friends. They want you to be completely dependent on them and eliminate any support system you have in place. It starts slowly with them making comments that they do not like your friends or family.
Unless they have had a lot of successful psychotherapy for their NPD, they do not feel guilt, shame, or self-doubt so long as their narcissistic defenses hold. This means that they do not think there is anything for them to regret, no matter how hurt you feel.
They cry to gain sympathy from other people
These tears occur when someone does not know any other way to meet their needs. Narcissists may also experience depression, grief, and low moods, and nearly everyone suffers physical pain at some point in their lives, which may cause genuine tears.
This is what narcissistic abuse looks like.
The aftermath of narcissistic abuse can include depression, anxiety, hypervigilance, a pervasive sense of toxic shame, emotional flashbacks that regress the victim back to the abusive incidents, and overwhelming feelings of helplessness and worthlessness.
However, some studies have also pointed out that narcissistic characteristics may not only arise from childhood environments characterized by neglect/abuse, but also from environments in which a child is sheltered or overly praised [11,14,15].
The development of narcissistic traits is in many cases, a consequence of neglect or excessive appraisal. In some cases, this pathological self-structure arises under childhood conditions of inadequate warmth, approval and excessive idealization, where parents do not see or accept the child as they are.
For the person on the receiving end, someone experiencing a narcissistic collapse may look out of control, extremely angry, and vindictive. In some cases, it may look like someone withdrawing altogether and giving them the silent treatment.