So why do some of us do this? Obsessive crushes aren't just frustrating - they could be a type of addiction, according to researchers. Dr Gery Karantzas, an Associate Professor at Deakin University studying love and relationships, said some of us get an emotional "reward" from fantasising about a crush.
Obsessive love can cause a person to fixate on their loved one as though they are an object or possession. This can have many causes, ranging from mental health issues to delusional disorders. Health professionals do not widely recognize obsessive love, or “obsessive love disorder,” as a mental health condition.
You could be suffering from Limerence — a cognitive state of obsession and infatuation. You may be fixated with having your feelings reciprocated. You refuse to give up because you know it's meant to be. Very common in the world of Twin Flames.
“Often, it can be due to feelings of insecurity, self-doubt or anxiety about the future,” she said. “A lack of confidence in relationships can also contribute to clinginess.
OCD can involve obsessions or compulsions of many kinds. But what if your obsessions are towards another person? Limerence is a term that describes an infatuation or obsession with another person. It stems from romantic attraction that involuntarily develops into obsessive thoughts.
If you're falling in love, prepare for butterflies and excitement. However, if you're still distracted and completely wrapped up in someone after months have passed, it could be a sign of obsession. Obsessive passion isn't a healthy basis for a relationship.
Another way to figure out if it is a crush or an obsession is to think about a life without that specific person. People with crushes will often be able to “bounce back” after, but people with obsessions will feel as if they can not live without that person in their grasp.”
According to psychologists, crushes often last a few months, with a minor percentage developing into a relationship. This statistic may stem from the fact that many crushes are founded in infatuation instead of an attachment.
Someone who is super interested in you will want to talk to you all the time. If you and your crush have lengthy conversations often, or even just send a few short texts throughout the day, it's likely that they have strong feelings for you. This could also be a sign that your crush thinks of you as a very good friend.
In other words, it's the near-obsessive form of romantic love but with a specific focus on the reciprocation of feelings. The person suffering from the state is considered to be Limerent, and the desired individual is considered the Limerent Object.
It's very common to get super-excited over a crush or new person you're seeing. This is all totally natural, and fun… in most cases. We tend to put new love interests on a pedestal and romanticize everything about them.
Crushes and infatuation go hand in hand and are very similar. Crush is defined as a brief but intense infatuation for someone, especially someone inappropriate or unattainable. Infatuation is defined as an intense but short-lived passion or admiration for someone or something.
Many times, obsession with another person stems from a lack of self-esteem or feeling like your needs are important. The good news is that as hard as it seems now, things can get better. Are You Struggling To Move On From A Crush?
Romantic rejection stimulates parts of the brain associated with motivation, reward, addiction, and cravings. Being romantically rejected can be a familiar feeling that mirrors one's childhood, leading that person to seek out more of the same.
'Clingy' is a term often used to describe someone who does not have clear boundaries and tends to get over-attached emotionally or even physically. If your boyfriend is overly possessive, jealous (even of your non-romantic relationships), and irrationally insecure about your whereabouts, he is clingy.
But jesting aside: Generally speaking one can safely assume that most women want a guy that has enough self-confidence to NOT be too clingy on them. This "clingyness" is a sign of insecurity and/or obsession and it becomes quite unnerving for the girl/woman.
While clingy tendencies may have been “ok” in your previous relationship, being overly needy is generally considered a toxic dating habit.
Willmott and Bentley define limerence as an acute onset, unexpected, obsessive attachment to one person (the limerent object).
Your feelings don't fade
One sign that this is more than a crush: "Your feelings don't dissipate over time but get stronger and deeper," says Irina Firstein, LCSW. So basically, if you've been feeling this way about your special person for a looong time, it's definitely possible that you're in love.
All of those questioned were aged 18 or over, with the average age of respondents levelling out at 37. Initially, respondents were asked to reveal how many crushes they had experienced in their lifetime so far, to which the average answer was a whopping 17.
He's asserting dominance.
If he's looking at you intensely without smiling and even looks angry or stern, he could be trying to assert his dominance. In this case, his stare will feel like a challenge—in his mind, the weaker one won't be able to keep eye contact.