Borderlines will usually end relationships as a form of seeking validation from their partner. The general pattern of BPD behaviour after a break-up sees them waiting for their partner to reach out to them to have their emotional needs met.
The individual with BPD tends to blame themselves for the breakup and may experience an increase in depression, anxiety, anger and self-harming behaviors.
They may get severely depressed or lash out if they know you are breaking up with them. Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder may also engage in self-harm and other destructive behaviors.
Because people with BPD have an intense fear of abandonment, a breakup can leave them feeling desperate and devastated. This is why it's a good idea to have a support network for you and partner, especially if a breakup may occur. This network often includes a mental health professional.
Sometimes people with BPD return after no contact, but it's important to remember that this doesn't mean the relationship will automatically work out. The best way to rebuild a relationship with your BPD ex is by starting fresh and focusing on your own needs.
People with BPD may be sensitive to rejection and abandonment and are prone to splitting, rage, and impulsivity. If a person with BPD feels rejected or abandoned, they may end the relationship. However, this is usually followed by significant anxiety and regret and efforts to get back together.
If they tell you that having less contact with you than when you were previously in a relationship is causing them pain, then it may be best to go no contact. On occasion, a BP might actually initiate no contact. If that happens, accept that this is what they have deemed this necessary for their healing.
An intense fear of abandonment is common in those with BPD, and it can honestly feel like your world is falling apart when someone rejects or leaves you. You can't imagine a future where they are not in it, and you don't want one without them.
At the end of the day, people with BPD can fall in love; it just takes some work from both sides of the relationship. Treatment is the first step — options may include: Individual and couple's therapy. Medication.
Pulling someone into a close relationship and then pushing that person away repeatedly is one of the most well-known symptoms of BPD. It causes the person in question to be confused about where they stand in the relationship.
If you suspect you're someone with BPD's favorite person, they may exhibit the following signs toward you: Consistent need for reassurance. Intense declarations of their love or appreciation for you. Reaching out more frequently when you don't respond.
There is no set period that a splitting behavior will last. A person may alternate between conflicting perceptions of another several times a day, or their perception of someone as all good or all bad may last a very long time. They will continue to split until they find more effective ways to manage BPD symptoms.
While much of our time together is wonderful, there are times when you push me away and our relationship is compromised. I know that you don't want to push me away, but you are driven by your pain. I want to be there with you when you are in pain but I cannot if you push me away. I cannot take your pain away.
Those who have BPD tend to be very intense, dramatic, and exciting. This means they tend to attract others who are depressed and/or suffering low self-esteem. People who take their power from being a victim, or seek excitement in others because their own life is not where they want it to be.
There is no set average length of a BPD relationship because each person's symptoms and how BPD affects their relationships will differ. Given the instability that comes with BPD, some people with this disorder may experience a series of relationships that begin intensely and end quickly.
No. Borderline Personality Disorder and cheating are not connected, though certain symptoms of BPD could drive someone to cheat. That said, if you and your partner are willing to work through the challenges of BPD and go to therapy, then there is no reason your relationship can't succeed.
Separations, disagreements, and rejections—real or perceived—are the most common triggers for symptoms. A person with BPD is highly sensitive to abandonment and being alone, which brings about intense feelings of anger, fear, suicidal thoughts and self-harm, and very impulsive decisions.
While BPD is oftentimes associated with self-harm behavior, such as cutting, burning, or scratching oneself, individuals with this Axis II disorder may also funnel their aggression into the external environment.
Recognize in your loved one's abilities and help them realize their own potential rather than taking on their challenges for them. Let them know that you support them and believe in them. Help them take steps to become more self-sufficient, not less. Of course, this does not mean ignoring legitimate crises.
Family members may be quick to deny or argue the feelings experienced the person with BPD. If these feelings are ignored, the individual may resort to self-destructive ways to express their emotions.
Suppressing Emotions
Many with quiet BPD, especially those who experienced childhood trauma, hide their feelings because that is what they learned to do to survive when they were younger. You might believe your emotions are only acceptable if you appear in good spirits.
Can You Ignore or Say No to Someone with BPD? You can ignore them if you feel disrespected or unsafe, but do this as a last resort when communicating your boundaries hasn't worked. Acknowledge their feelings, but express that you feel disrespected, upset, or overwhelmed by their current behavior.
Past vs Present in Borderline Personality Disorder: Those with BPD can become stuck in the past in their attempts to recover their lost self. What keeps the past so alive is not facing your feelings.