A fear of abandonment presents itself in people who seem like “people pleasers” or need continuous reassurance that they are loved. There is also a consistent anxiety that occurs with abandonment issues. Common signs of abandonment issues include: Giving too much or being overly eager to please.
Symptoms of Abandonment Issues in Adults or Adulthood
Extreme jealousy or clingy behavior in a romantic relationship. Pretend they don't care about a spouse when they do. Rejection of a partner before they can be rejected. Avoid getting close to others.
Abandonment issues are a form of anxiety that occurs when an individual has a strong fear of losing loved ones. People with abandonment issues can have difficulties in relationships. They may exhibit symptoms such as codependency, clinginess, or manipulative behavior.
An abandonment trigger is anything that sparks an intense emotional reaction relating to your experience of abandonment. Abandonment triggers can be very specific to your particular experiences, but these are a few triggers that are common among many people with abandonment experiences: Rejection. Cheating.
PTSD from abandonment trauma can leave people feeling anxious and worried about their own physical and emotional safety. Children worried about how their basic needs will be met may suffer from anxiety and have a pronounced need for control over what's happening around them.
“Symptoms of abandonment trauma can include extreme insecurity or anxiety within a relationship, obsessive or intrusive thoughts of being abandoned, and also debilitating self-esteem or self regard.” When children feel abandoned, it can leave them feeling frightened and unsafe.
An anxious attachment style may manifest in fear of abandonment and a need for validation and constant reassurance from your loved one. It's typically caused by an unpredictable primary caregiver when you were a child.
Behavioral and emotional signs of fear of abandonment
panic or anxiety about being alone or not coupled. sensitivity to criticism or rejection. shame and self-blame when something goes wrong in the relationship. fear of intimacy or closeness.
Someone who fears abandonment usually has trouble trusting people. If they're unsure of the way that you feel, they may assume that you want to leave them, and they might take off or sabotage the relationship before (in their mind) you have a chance to hurt them.
If your feelings are hurt, you feel betrayed, abandoned, or rejected, and your partner doesnt care or minimizes them, thats a red flag. You should also be wary if you notice a pattern of lying or half-truths about other issues.
Not always, but sometimes, those who develop abandonment issues use manipulative or controlling behaviors to get others to stay. This doesn't mean that you're an inherently bad person, and it is possible to overcome patterns of manipulative or controlling behavior.
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). CBT helps increase consciousness of feelings about certain life events. It may help a person with abandonment issues shift how they perceive events that cause fear. They may then restructure how they think about these events.
Common signs of abandonment issues include: Giving too much or being overly eager to please. Jealousy in your relationship or of others. Trouble trusting your partner's intentions.
In the context of a marriage, the feelings of neglect, being left out, and not being heard are collectively referred to as emotional abandonment. It occurs when one partner is so preoccupied with their own concerns that they are unable to notice the struggles, concerns, or problems their partner is experiencing.
The trauma of abandonment leaves an emotional blueprint on the brain. People who suffer from abandonment wounds experience extreme emotional sensitivity to anything that triggers rejection, for example, feeling insignificant, criticized, misunderstood, slighted, excluded, or overlooked.
Attachment styles are developed during infancy and early childhood, and an insecure attachment style can lead to a fear of abandonment in adulthood. Abandonment issues may be caused by childhood abuse, neglect, or environmental stressors, such as growing up in poverty or living in a dangerous area.
Abandonment trauma, also known as PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) of abandonment, is caused by experiences that make us feel unsafe, insecure, and alone as children. The emotional distress that stems from this type of trauma can persist throughout the lifespan and lead to many health complications.
Abandonment wounds leave us feeling like we need to hold-on, fearing disconnection, worrying about future disappointments and worrying about potential threats and losses, leaving us feeling perpetually insecure and doubtful in ourselves, in relationships and in the world.
There is a term for this type of disengagement from a marriage – Sudden Wife Abandonment. Also, this type of departure can give a woman Wife Abandonment Syndrome (WAS). When a wife is suddenly abandoned she generally has no idea that her marriage is about to end. Often these types of marriage appear to be happy.
Abandonment issues are a form of anxiety that negatively impacts relationships. It causes excess stress and worry over loved ones leaving them. Trauma, abuse, neglect early in life, or other mental health conditions can lead to abandonment issues. Fortunately, these are readily treated through talk therapy.
Long-Term Effects. No matter what causes abandonment issues, these fears can have a dramatic, lasting effect on a person's life. They can be so damaging, in fact, that in studies we've found that people who learned to fear abandonment are more likely to develop mental health conditions later in life.
Self-Neglect and Self-Destructive Behaviors
Women with childhood abandonment wounds will have episodes of neglecting themselves, taking care of everyone and anyone but themselves. They may also act out, drink too much, take unnecessary risks or throw caution to the wind in a way that is clearly self-harming.