Yes, potty training often feels like it gets worse before it gets better, with a common "roller coaster" pattern of initial excitement followed by setbacks (regression), accidents, frustration, and resistance, especially as the reality sets in, stress occurs, or underwear is introduced, but these phases are usually temporary and resolve with patience, consistency, and addressing underlying issues like big life changes or fear, leading to eventual mastery.
Refusing to use the toilet or potty (and requesting nappies/diapers again) is common around three days after potty training begins, although it can (and does) happen at anytime within the first month.
We see a lot more poop issues with 3-year-olds as potty training consultants because it's a harder pattern to break. Simply because the pattern has being going on for a longer time. It's what the child knows and actually *feels comfortable* with at that point.
Red flags when getting started with potty training
It's perfectly normal for children to regress in their skills sometimes, including potty training. Potty training regression can happen for a number of reasons, including a big life change, other developmental milestones, or illness.
That's cycles of 10 minutes in the yard, 10 feet of potty area in the yard, 10 minutes of supervision.
Most regressions will only last for about 2 weeks or less, so before you know it, they'll be back to using the potty reliably again!
At its most basic, it means ditching the diapers and letting your toddler go bare-bottomed for three days while providing prompts, coaching, and plenty of positive reinforcement for properly using the potty.
Freud believed that parents should promote the use of toilet training with praise and rewards. The use of positive reinforcement after using the toilet at the appropriate times encourages positive outcomes. This will help reinforce the feeling that the child is capable of controlling their bladder.
Common potty training problems include anxiety, refusal to use the potty, and attempts to delay or avoid defecation. In addition, it's common for kids to have daytime accidents and wet the bed. Children may also feel reluctant to use toilet facilities when they are away from home.
To sum it up, potty training too early or too late can cause psychological problems or can be a sign of medical problems if too late for your child. The sweet spot is 3.5-4 years old.
Potty training: Boys vs girls
Believe it or not, potty training often has more to do with a child's personality and level of development than gender. That said, boys do tend to start the potty training process a little later and take slightly longer than girls.
In the 1940s, most children were potty trained around the age of 1 year. In the Western world that average has since increased to the age of 3 years. This is due to the convenience of the disposable nappy, as well as the current prevailing view that we should wait 'until the child is ready.
It may feel like potty training is not going well if your child is having accidents, but actually many children do. On the first day of going without nappies, a third of children have around three or four accidents, while 12% can have up to seven. You just have to persevere because they will get it eventually.
Common Causes:
In short, we generally discourage reboots because most children will eventually get the whole potty training thing and there is more of a risk of you could be inadvertently rewarding bad behavior.
If parents are too strict or begin toilet training too early, Freud believed that an anal-retentive personality develops in which the individual is stringent, orderly, rigid, and obsessive.
What should I do if my child has an accident or starts a potty training regression?
The biggest reason cited for this was busy parents postponing potty training their child for as long as possible or needing to spend more time at work. Nursery practitioners felt that parents needed more support, and 92% believed that toilet training should be a shared responsibility between nursery and home.
Getting your child ready to potty train
SIGNS THAT YOUR CHILD MAY BE READY FOR TOILET TRAINING
Many professionals recommend skipping pull-ups for daytime potty training.
Common causes of potty training regression in young children include: Change in the child-care routine—for example, a new sitter, or starting a child-care or preschool program. The mother's pregnancy or the birth of a new sibling. A major illness on the part of the child or a family member.
But sometimes it can be more stressful for parents than it is for kids! Most children complete potty training by 36 months. The average length it takes toddlers to learn the process is about six months. Girls learn faster, usually completing toilet training two to three months before boys do.
The average age for potty training has increased over the years. According to UCL's research the average age for toilet training in the 1950's was 28 months, this had risen to 37 months in the 2000's and today there are large numbers of children who start school at 48 months still wearing nappies .