“For some, flirting is infidelity. For others, [cheating is] exclusively sexual acts. For others still, [infidelity is] any emotional closeness that should be reserved for a primary partner or significant other,” says Jeanae Hopgood, a licensed marriage and family therapist from Plymouth Meeting, Pennsylvania.
What's considered cheating can vary from couple to couple, but in general, pursuing a romantic relationship with another person in any way is considered cheating. Many behaviors are considered cheating by many people, including flirting with others, kissing others, or being intimate with someone else.
Flirting or coquetry is a social and sexual behavior involving body language, or spoken or written communication. It is used to suggest interest in a deeper relationship with another person and, if done playfully, for amusement.
Infidelity, or cheating, is the act of being unfaithful to a spouse or other partner. It typically means engaging in sexual or romantic relations with a person other than one's significant other, breaking a commitment or promise in the act.
If your partner engages in mild flirting or playful banter with someone else, either in person or online, he/she may be micro-cheating.
Terms such as “soft cheating”, “cyber infidelity”, and “micro-cheating” refer to less obvious means of cheating that are not traditionally thought of as infidelity but are ultimately dishonest and secretive.
Inappropriate texting can be considered cheating depending on a couple's boundaries around fidelity. Signs of a texting affair may include being secretive, keeping your phone down or out of sight, and flirting with others through text.
Going outside your relationship, physically and emotionally.” – Anna M. “Anything you feel like you have to keep a secret from him/her is cheating, regardless of whether it's physical or emotional.” – Eliza J. “Talking to someone suggestively counts as cheating. Emotional cheating can be worse than kissing.” – Julia C.
Consider the situation.
You can totally agree with your S.O. that all kisses are cheating, or maybe you decide it's all about the intent. If it's for a game, then it's OK, but if you're kissing someone due to your attraction to them, that may be crossing the line.
In a research project, Jeffrey Hall, Assistant Professor of Communication Studies at the University of Kansas defined five flirting styles; playful, traditional, physical, sincere and polite.
Innocent flirting is a lighthearted and playful form of social interaction that involves casual, friendly banter, compliments, and teasing without any serious intent or expectation to pursue a romantic or sexual relationship.
Sexting can certainly be considered a form of cheating, as it typically betrays the trust and intimacy within a committed relationship. It's normal to feel sad, angry, or lonely after being betrayed. It's also normal to feel as though you can't trust your partner, or fear that sexting is just the tip of the iceberg.
It is still considered as academic dishonesty even if it was committed unintentionally.
Some look at cheating as a black and white issue and others as one with many shades of grey. These differing viewpoints can cause big problems in any relationship. The question as to whether cheating is ever justified is both an ethical and moral one. The general answer for most is, “no”, it is never okay.
Like so many drivers who get into accidents on the roads, though, they ignored or were unaware of warning signs along the way. If they would have heeded those indications, disaster could have been avoided. In that sense, yes, an affair can be called “accidental.”
For the betrayed spouse, stages of an affair being exposed can involve everything from denial, shock, reflection, depression to finally taking an upward turn.
Emotional affairs are often a result of feeling neglected, misunderstood or overlooked in a relationship. If a person believes that their partner does not value them, or does not have time for them, then they might strike up a friendship with a new person who offers more emotional investment and support.
Almost one in five (18%) Americans who are currently in monogamous relationships say their current partner has cheated on them — physically, emotionally, or both. Americans who live with their partner but are not married (35%) are the most likely to say they have been cheated on by their current partner.
Sometimes, flirting that seems innocent at first can become a "slippery slope" and eventually turn into cheating, says Susan Krauss Whitbourne, PhD, a professor of psychology at the University of Massachusetts Amherst. Still, she doesn't consider flirting a form of cheating "as long as it remains at that level."
“While flirting may technically not be cheating, it could be viewed as a breach of fidelity because you are showing interest in someone else. The very thought of looking outside of the relationship and acting on it, even mildly, can be viewed by your partner as hurtful.
Harmless Flirting
This can mean buying a drink in a social setting, freely giving compliments, side arm hugs or other non-sexual touches, a platonic friendship. The term “harmless” is only applicable if you are willing to disclose this behavior (without shame or concern) to your partner.
Cheating on a spouse or significant other is sure to cause feelings of jealousy and hurt in the spurned partner. But men and women differ on what part of cheating they think is the worst: Men tend to be more bothered by sexual infidelity, while most women are bothered more by emotional infidelity.
Micro-cheating is a term for small, sometimes unintentional actions that could be seen as minor infidelity. Examples of micro-cheating include talking to an ex on social media and lying about your relationship status to casual acquaintances.