With some weddings, costs are split between the couples and other members of the family. You'll also run into scenarios where parents are divorced or remarried, and splitting the costs.
The different parties can offer to pay for certain aspects of the celebration. The bride's and groom's parents can split the costs; alternatively, each set of parents and the couple can each pay one-third of the cost. Finally, it's increasingly common for the bride and groom to pay for the whole wedding themselves.
Ultimately, the way you decide who pays for the wedding is up to you, your partner, and your families. You might be aware that the bride's family is expected to cover the majority of the wedding day costs, while the groom's family pays for a variety of extra activities, like the rehearsal dinner and the honeymoon.
The bride's engagement ring and wedding ring(s), the groom's suit and accessories, the groomsmen's presents, the officiant's fee, the marriage licence, the rehearsal dinner, and the groom's family and groomsmen's travel and lodging are all customarily paid for by the groom's family.
Some common resolutions today are for the couple to pay for everything; for the bride's family to pay for half and the groom's family for half; or, for the couple to pay one third and each side of the family fund another third. If another combination works best for you, then it's the right one.
Is it okay to give cash as a wedding gift? Cash gifts are perfectly acceptable, according to Emily Post. In fact, as most millennials are getting married later in life and already have well-stocked homes, they prefer cash to put toward savings or a honeymoon over registry items.
The groom's family traditionally paid for all costs associated with the rehearsal dinner and honeymoon, wedding day transportation, and the officiant. The groom paid for the bride's engagement ring, wedding ring, and groomsmen gifts. It is also common for the groom's family to pay for the alcohol at the reception.
Of course, it would be amazing to give your daughter thousands and thousands of dollars as a wedding gift, but not at the risk of making your own financial situation dire. Depending on their relationship with the bride, wedding guests typically give between $50 – $150 when making a monetary gift.
Parents of the bride and groom collectively contribute about $19,000 to the wedding, or about two-thirds of the total cost, according to WeddingWire. The bride's parents give an average $12,000, and the groom's, $7,000. Just 1 in 10 couples pays for the wedding entirely on their own, according to TheKnot.com.
Traditionally, the groom's parents' financial responsibilities include paying for the rehearsal dinner and honeymoon. In some parts of the country, it may be tradition for the groom's family to pay for the alcohol at the reception.
Bride's Parents and/or Family Members
If you're going the very traditional route, the answer to the question “who pays for the wedding?” is “the bride's family.” But you'll see that even in traditional roles, the bride's family doesn't actually pay for everything—but they're definitely a big part of the equation.
The bride's side of the family traditionally pays for the bride's wedding dress and the bridesmaids' dresses. Increasingly, however, bridesmaids are paying for their own dresses.
Do I Have to Follow Tradition? Traditionally, it is the responsibility of the bride's family – specifically, her mother and father – to pay for most of the wedding. It's not clear exactly how this tradition started, but it's thought to have evolved from the practice of the bride's family paying a dowry to the husband.
For acquaintances and coworkers, giving the couple a gift of $50 may be appropriate. However, if a guest is closer to them, they may want to aim for at least $75 to $100. If a guest has a close relationship with the couple, $200 is an excellent cash wedding gift amount.
For family or someone close to you, $75 to $100 and even as high as $150 is perfect. Then if you're going as a couple, it's routine to double the amount or keep it at $200.
Most receptions for 100 people cost between $6,000 - $12,000, with $8,000 being the average cost. Here's a general estimate of what you can expect to pay for food, service/staffing, alcohol, and rentals for a wedding of this size.
A rule of thumb would be a cash gift or an equivalent of at least $150. The backing is because “regular” visitors would typically spend that much on wedding presents. You could dedicate less to close friends and wider family and slightly higher to immediate family members.
Upon consulting the experts, a wedding gift should range from $75 to $750—but most agree that $300+ is the sweet spot.
What Does the Groom's Family Pay For, Traditionally? The groom's family is responsible for corsages and boutonnieres for immediate members of both families, the lodging of the groom's attendants (if you have offered to help pay for this expense), and sometimes the costs of the rehearsal dinner.
An easy rule of thumb is to stay within the average range of $75 to $200, but you can adjust the exact amount based on your personal finances, as well as your relationship with the couple.
Aim for something sentimental that falls within your budget—whether that's $25 per person or $100 per couple.
The average wedding gift amount hovers right around $100, which is a great place to start, and you can increase or decrease that based on how close you are.
Traditionally, the groom's mother will take care of the rehearsal dinner arrangements and help prepare the guest list for the groom's side of the family. Both tasks should be done with both the bride and the groom's input. Any other responsibilities can be negotiated among the families.