Fact: People with BPD are capable of giving and receiving love. People with BPD have a lot of difficulty in relationships, but that doesn't mean they're incapable of love.
But there is another quality displayed by many borderline individuals that is often left out of the diagnostic picture: individuals with borderline personality disorders can also love intensely, although somewhat erratically and egocentrically.
Intense and short-lived relationships are common for people with BPD. It's very common for someone with this disorder to have intense, unstable relationships filled with drastic and quick-changing feelings. A person with BPD may fall in love quickly and assume that the other person will make them happy.
People with BPD strongly desire a deep connection with those around them. This is partly because of their fear of abandonment but because they simply love people and crave deep connections. As a result, people with BPD tend to be very passionate partners.
If you suspect you're someone with BPD's favorite person, they may exhibit the following signs toward you: Consistent need for reassurance. Intense declarations of their love or appreciation for you. Reaching out more frequently when you don't respond.
A person with BPD will also seek out new relationships (i.e., partners and/or friendships) quite often. Once in a close romantic relationship they will both crave and become terrified of intimacy; fearing abandonment, they will cling to their partner, which will then lead to fears of enmeshment, so they push away.
No. Borderline Personality Disorder and cheating are not connected, though certain symptoms of BPD could drive someone to cheat. That said, if you and your partner are willing to work through the challenges of BPD and go to therapy, then there is no reason your relationship can't succeed.
Another hallmark of borderline personality disorder is having a favorite person—usually a family member, romantic partner, or someone in a supportive role, such as a teacher or coach. For someone with this type of BPD relationship, a “favorite person” is someone they rely on for comfort, happiness, and validation.
At the end of the day, people with BPD can fall in love; it just takes some work from both sides of the relationship. Treatment is the first step — options may include: Individual and couple's therapy. Medication.
Romantic fantasization is a common feature of borderline personality disorder (BPD).
Borderline/dependent: A person with borderline personality disorder (BPD) is well-matched with a person who has a dependent personality disorder (DPD). The BPD has an intense fear of abandonment which is a good match for the DPD who will not leave even a dysfunctional relationship.
In addition to the chaotic emotional life and fears of abandonment associated with BPD, a person with co-occurring NPD may also take advantage of or manipulate others while having little empathy for others' concerns. This combination can be incredibly destructive in relationships.
In close relationships, a person with BPD may appear jealous, possessive, or hyper-reactive. These individuals often fear being left alone and have deep feelings of worthlessness. In many cases, this disorder is the direct result of childhood trauma, abuse, violence, or neglect.
Passionate and emotional – When a person with BPD loves, the love is deep, highly committed and loyal to the relationship. Even though there may be struggles with attachment and fears of abandonment, these are ultimately manifestations of love.
There's also a lot of anecdotal evidence from other people's experiences that suggest 2-4 years is more common. So, if you want to know how long your relationships might last if you have BPD, it really does depend on the intensity of your condition.
Anyone living with BPD can still lead satisfying lives and take pleasure in long-term relationships and even life partnerships. With the proper treatment and support, people with BPD can and do have healthy and happy relationships.
An impulsive borderline is often highly charismatic, energetic and engaging. They can be superficial, flirtatious and elusive, seeking thrills and becoming quickly bored. Impulsive borderlines thrive on attention and excitement and often get themselves into trouble after acting first and thinking later.
Due to the self-destructive urges of BPD, people with hypersexuality and BPD frequently use sexual activity as a way of self-harm and endangerment, especially when it comes to having safe sex. The connection between dual diagnosis and sex addiction is incredibly complex, much like other types of addictive behaviors.
Some BPD signs that are specific to the discouraged borderline include: Loyalty, even to an excessive degree. Pliant and easily swayed by others, even when it goes against one's own desires. Submissive and passive even when desiring a leading role.
A fear of abandonment is central to BPD. That can present obvious problems in a relationship, especially when you're just getting to know someone and have no idea where things are heading. Unfortunately, intense fear can lead to your partner being clingy or making unreasonable demands on your time.
Roberts notes that the person with BPD demonstrates an “anxious-preoccupied attachment style.” This attachment may produce feelings of envy when a favorite person happens to spend time with others, compliment them, or place their time and feelings above that of the person with BPD.
As a symptom
Some people with borderline personality disorder (sometimes referred to as BPD) can be markedly impulsive, seductive, and extremely sexual. Sexual promiscuity, sexual obsessions, and hypersexuality are very common symptoms for both men and women with BPD.