Generally, narcissists are very frugal with their money and defensive with it. When it comes to their possessions, they don't give them freely. There is, however, more to this greed than self-preservation. Due to their lack of empathy, narcissists may not understand the benefits of sharing their resources.
Because money and material wealth are highly important to narcissists, they often become a focal point of their relationships—sometimes resulting in financial abuse.
They are punitive with money. Narcissists often use money as a tool for punishment. They may reward you financially when you do what they want, and then withhold money when they feel vindictive. This can feel unsafe, degrading and confusing.
Yes, most narcissists are relatively stingy and protective over their money. They don't willingly hand over what they have. However, this greed extends beyond self-preservation. Because narcissists lack empathy for others, they don't necessarily understand the benefits of sharing their resources.
And narcissists know this all too well. Even a little bit of money gives a narcissist a sense of power and domination over others. It starts off small with the little things like removing your name from the accounts and then grows into stealing, threats, and extortion.
Hiding assets.
They go to great pains to hide marital assets, sometimes setting up secret accounts, “lending” money to friends, or stashing cash in safe-deposit boxes. Because they're so grandiose, they don't believe they'll ever get caught.
If you're in a relationship with a narcissist, you may find that you're sacrificing things for the sake of their needs on a regular basis, but they refuse to do the same for you. It also means they'll do almost anything to others in order to meet their own needs.
Financial distress is a common occurrence among some narcissists. Numerous factors can contribute to these problems. In the first place, narcissists believe that they are above the law. As a result, their unethical behavior may sometimes include lying, stealing, or embezzling money while justifying it fully.
“Some kinds of narcissists will come across as extremely needy. If there is always a huge problem or drama, everyone has to focus on them—pitying them, running to their rescue, and helping them clean up their messes,” says Ho.
Narcissistic rage is common for those with NPD as they grow increasingly angry with any display of vulnerability. This anger can be triggered when they are “called out,” their image has been damaged, or their shortcomings or wrongdoings are highlighted.
Generally, narcissists are very frugal with their money and defensive with it. When it comes to their possessions, they don't give them freely. There is, however, more to this greed than self-preservation. Due to their lack of empathy, narcissists may not understand the benefits of sharing their resources.
Narcissists are attracted to certain types of people. Rather than weak, vulnerable people, they tend to go for the strong-willed and talented. They are also attracted to people who reflect well on themselves.
They are deeply insecure people and here they will be projecting the devaluation of and feelings about themselves onto you. They will find your areas of vulnerability and will use those against you so that you feel just as bad about yourself as they do.
Living with a narcissist isn't easy. It can be exhausting and difficult, but there are things that you can do to stay strong, supported, and mentally healthy. Remember that you're not the problem and don't take their behaviors personally.
Some narcissists go into insane debt to keep up appearances and please themselves; other narcissists cause other people insane debt to keep them happy. A narcissist will also convince a partner to go in on a loan or financing contract with them so they can afford something they previously couldn't.
It is because of this that they may find it difficult to understand other people's feelings or perspectives, a self-centredness that can cause them to act selfishly and exploit others for their own gain. “As narcissists do not have empathy, they are not able to genuinely care or love you,” explains Davey.
In the beginning of the relationship they give you extravagant attention, glorification, and idealization to get you hooked, and then pull it away to keep you begging for “how it used to be”. They may even mock you or complain that you're “too selfish or too needy,” in order to increase your insecurity and neediness.
Most narcissists enjoy an irrational and brief burst of relief after having suffered emotionally ("narcissistic injury") or after having sustained a loss. It is a sense of freedom, which comes with being unshackled.
Narcissists are never generous with their own money, yet they expect others to cater to them (Burgemeester, 2021). What Is Narcissism?
Since narcissists are very interested in social status and influence, they use acts of generosity to appear noble and kind. Some examples of this are narcissists who donate their money, goods, or time.
Narcissists' strong desire to achieve and display status likely leads to higher levels of materialism. Furthermore, those high in narcissism possess an inflated, yet fragile, sense of self-esteem and become dependent on social sources for affirmation (Morf & Rhodewalt, 2001).
Narcissists typically settle down in monogamous relationships only if their partner has the ability to keep the narcissistic supply flowing freely. Partners are often viewed as “trophies” and proof of the narcissist's ability to “bag” an attractive or successful partner.
Although narcissists act superior, entitled and boastful, underneath their larger-than-life facade lies their greatest fear: That they are ordinary. For narcissists, attention is like oxygen. Narcissists believe only special people get attention.
They will often deploy a variety of narcissistic relationship patterns such as manipulation, charismatic, and exploitational tactics in order to ensure that their own needs and wants are met. As a spouse, you may be the subject of their manipulation and abuse, while your partner treats everyone else positively.