Narcissists are often masters of pathological lying (7). They gain a sense of power from being able to pull the wool over people's eyes. If they are cheating on you, they'll be lying to prevent themselves from getting caught.
If you suspect your narcissistic partner is cheating, explore your emotions and response options before confronting them. Keep in mind that they may employ tactics like gaslighting, denial, defensiveness, or even become abusive, so this encounter may not go well if you're hoping to work things out.
Projection is a hallmark sign of the narcissist. If they are cheating (which is more common among narcissists than others), they will accuse you of cheating. These accusations ramp up when you go out of town or engage in an activity without them.
The best way you can tell if a narcissist is lying is by aggressively pursuing inconsistencies and being aware of a surplus of low probability events embedded into the narcissist's stories.
Narcissists can look people straight in the eye while shamelessly lying to them. In doing so, they do not make a face, even when confronted with probing questions and evidence of previous deceptions. It is normal for them to deny lies, make excuses, and project their behavior onto others.
Gaslighting and narcissism often go hand in hand, and saying “I love you” is a great way of downplaying some of the horrendous behaviour you've been subjected to. Adding a “but” makes this an even more effective gaslighting tool.
Lying is a common tactic used by narcissists because it works so effectively to achieve their goals without risking any damage to their self-image.
Reveal and Expose
This can be done by presenting them with evidence of their infidelity. For example, if you have proof of their cheating, such as text messages or photos, you can show them to the narcissist. This may force them to confront the truth and admit their wrongdoing.
Narcissistic partners act as if they are always right, that they know better and that their partner is wrong or incompetent. This often leaves the other person in the relationship either angry and trying to defend themselves or identifying with this negative self-image and feeling badly about themselves.
The Psychodynamic Process Enables Cheating
In the quest for narcissistic supply, the somatic narcissist resorts to serial sexual conquests. Narcissists are easily bored (they have a low boredom threshold) and they have a low tolerance for boredom. Sexual dalliances alleviate this nagging and frustrating ennui.
They lie compulsively
If they are cheating on you, they'll be lying to prevent themselves from getting caught. However, they may even lie when they have no reason to do so at all, as it gives them a sense of superiority. If you notice them lying about small everyday things, it could be a sign they are cheating on you.
People who with narcissistic cheating behaviors may express how much they're enjoying these new activities and new people — especially potential new partners — as a way of making their current partner jealous and inflating their sense of self-worth.
Narcissists lie effortlessly and are very convincing.
They experience pleasure from lying because they lack the normal range of human emotions. They are empty and bored, they lack empathy for others, and they do not feel shame or remorse. This emptiness also enables them to lie with minimal effort.
It is easy to be tricked by the covert narcissist because unlike the classic narcissist that many of us have learned to recognize with their charm, flash, attention-seeking ostentatious presentation, the covert narcissist is stealth. These people tend to be more introverted and subtle, so they can be easy to miss.
Simply put, the NPD lies in order to inflate his or her own self-esteem. They lie to the other person, to beat them. By inflating truths, they attempt to make their own skills or abilities seem superior to the other person. In other words, they are a boar, the type of person people avoid at a party.
They ignore you because they want to control you. One of the main reasons why a narcissist ignores you is that they want to control you. More likely, they want to regain control of you. A narcissist uses ignoring people as a way to punish them.
And vulnerable narcissists, who freely admit to feeling bad about themselves, are not exaggerating; they really do feel bad about themselves. In general, then, narcissists seem to be pretty honest when they tell you how they're feeling.
Low self-worth/confidence/esteem is at the core of a narcissism. This low sense of self naturally makes it extremely easy for them to become jealous – very jealous. And not just about anyone potentially interested in you romantically, but anyone or anything that can take the focus off of them.
Victims constantly ask if the narcissist knows what they are doing? The answer is “yes”, they are consciously aware that they are manipulating, they may even take pride in doing it.