While BPD involves significant challenges like emotional dysregulation, its "gifts" often stem from intense emotions, leading to deep empathy, heightened self-awareness, profound passion, creativity (art, music), strong intuition about others' feelings, and a powerful ability for intimate connection, often channeled into advocacy or appreciating unique beauty. These strengths, however, are intertwined with sensitivity, making emotional management crucial for harnessing them positively, according to this Psychology Today article, this Grow with Christine article, and this YouTube video.
From a shamanistic perspective, the symptoms of BPD include feeling intensely connected to everything; and therefore, highly affected by everyone and everything. The person is seen as not bad, but having a spiritual gift. They can sense the emotions of others instinctively and feel things that we cannot.
Avoid sarcasm or other tones that may be misunderstood. Tone it down and slow down to allow the person a moment to process their feelings. Listen without expressing personal judgement and blame and reflect back their own words in a calm manner.
People with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) are triggered by intense emotions, particularly fear of abandonment, rejection, and invalidation, often stemming from past trauma, leading to reactions like sudden anger or self-harm when feeling criticized, alone, or facing instability, sudden changes, or perceived neglect, according to sources like Borderline in the ACT. Common triggers include relationship conflicts, cancelled plans, perceived or real abandonment, reminders of trauma, or unmet needs like sleep, disrupting their fragile sense of self and emotional regulation.
The Unstable Sense of Self in BPD
A person with BPD often grapples with a deeply unstable self-image. This means they have difficulty maintaining a consistent and coherent sense of themselves. Their interests, values, and self-perception can frequently change, making them unsure about their identity.
Borderline personality disorder (BPD) has been described as a condition of intolerance of aloneness. This characteristic drives distinguishing criteria, such as frantic efforts to avoid abandonment. Both BPD and loneliness are linked with elevated mortality risk and multiple negative health outcomes.
Some common types of delusions that may occur in individuals with BPD include: Persecutory delusions: Believing that one is being mistreated, harassed, or conspired against by others.
Sexual, physical or emotional abuse or neglect. Losing a parent.
The "3 C's of BPD" typically refer to advice for loved ones of someone with Borderline Personality Disorder, reminding them: "I didn't cause it, I can't cure it, I can't control it," to help set boundaries and avoid taking on undue responsibility for the person's actions or illness. Another set of "C's" describes core BPD traits for individuals: Clinginess (fear of abandonment), Conflict (intense relationships/moods), and Confusion (unstable self-image).
Why BPD Symptoms Peak in Early Adulthood. In the 20s, identity formation and independence conflict with emotional vulnerability. Research shows impulsivity and mood swings occur most frequently between the ages of 18-25.
While not all people with BPD lie, BPD and lying can run the risk of weakening trust and placing a relationship in jeopardy, since it's a mental health condition often marked by emotional volatility, negative self-perception and unhealthy attachment styles, a partner with BPD may not even realize they're behaving this ...
Jobs that draw on empathy, communication, and understanding, traits often strengthened by lived experience with BPD, can also be deeply rewarding. Examples include: Teaching assistant or education support worker. Counsellor, peer support, or mental health worker.
Conflicts and disagreements are difficult for people with BPD, as they interpret these as signals of uncaring or relationship termination, generating feelings of anger and shame.
Provide distractions. Sometimes helping to distract someone from difficult feelings can be really useful. Try suggesting activities or tasks, such as watching a film or tidying up. Or you could start something and let them know they're welcome to join in when they feel ready.
Conclusion. Religiosity and religious attendance are negatively correlated with borderline personality traits, especially with anger, instability of mood, feeling of emptiness and self-harming behaviors.
Bold – Impulsivity is a BPD trait that can be positively linked to being bold, courageous and having the ability to speak one's mind. Creative – The high intensity of emotions can be released into creative endeavours. Many people with BPD put their entire emotional expression into music, art, performance and writing.
BPD Meltdown
During a meltdown, people may experience extreme mood swings, impulsivity, and difficulty calming down. Understanding how BPD contributes to meltdowns is crucial for developing coping strategies and providing support to manage and navigate these overwhelming emotional experiences.
Avoiding excessive caffeine, sugar, and processed foods may also help alleviate symptoms of BPD. Regular exercise has been shown to reduce symptoms of anxiety, depression, and stress, which are common in individuals with BPD.
The 7 key signs of emotional abuse often involve Isolation, Verbal Abuse (insults/yelling), Blame-Shifting/Guilt, Manipulation/Control, Gaslighting (making you doubt reality), Humiliation/Degradation, and Threats/Intimidation. These behaviors aim to control you, erode your self-worth, and make you dependent, creating a pattern of fear, anxiety, and low self-esteem, even without physical harm.
Conclusions: Parental externalizing psychopathology and father's BPD traits contribute genetic risk for offspring BPD traits, but mothers' BPD traits and parents' poor parenting constitute environmental risks for the development of these offspring traits.
Anything that causes someone to feel rejected or abandoned could be a BPD trigger. While these fears are especially common in romantic relationships, any real (or perceived, for that matter) abandonment could escalate BPD symptoms. Breakups, canceled plans, or losing a job can all be triggering.
Unhealed trauma often appears as chronic people-pleasing, relationship struggles, anxiety, self-destructive coping, or persistent shame and emptiness. Trauma rewires the hippocampus, amygdala, and prefrontal cortex, affecting memory, emotion regulation, decision-making, and social interactions.
BPD patients can experience hallucinations or even delusions similar to schizophrenia. Patients with BPD had higher scores in Psychotic Symptoms Rating Scales (PSYRATS) in the amount and degree of malicious content and distress from auditory verbal hallucinations, compared to patients with schizophrenia.
Some common warning signs include intense and rapidly changing emotions, often triggered by seemingly minor events. Individuals with BPD may exhibit impulsive behaviors such as substance abuse, binge eating, or reckless driving.
How can I help myself in the longer term?