To put it plainly, common negative effects of trauma bonding include: Isolation from loved ones. Mental illness, such as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), anxiety, and/or depression.
Breaking a trauma bond comes with intense withdrawal symptoms, flashbacks, cravings for the toxic person, compulsive thoughts about what happened, and an anxious state that may make you feel like you are going backward, without abate.
Trauma bonding occurs when a narcissist repeats a cycle of abuse with another person which fuels a need for validation and love from the person being abused. Trauma bonding often happens in romantic relationships, however, it can also occur between colleagues, non-romantic family members, and friends.
If you're stuck in a trauma bond, or you are struggling to move on after ending a trauma bond relationship, there are steps you can take to break free and find healing. You can unlearn the coping mechanisms you've developed to survive, learn new techniques, heal from the trauma, and break the bonds that hold you.
A trauma bond is a strong, emotional attachment that develops between a survivor of prolonged abuse and the perpetrator of abuse. It can be hard to break a trauma bond due to the intensity of the attachment, but there are multiple ways to heal and move on from a trauma-bonded relationship.
Breaking a trauma bond is hard to do alone, and support is vital. Unbiased support means support from someone outside the situation, who isn't part of your life or invested in your choices. This might at first be a support group, or an online forum of other women who are going through something similar.
Trauma Bonds Create Chemical Warfare in our Brains
Reuniting and the love-bombing that follows then floods our systems with dopamine. Dopamine and oxytocin together strengthen our bond even more and ease our fear and anxiety. We feel loved. We feel safe.
Trauma bonds are bonds that commonly form as a result of abusive relationships. They are the surface-level feelings of attachment and intimacy that can result from an abusive cycle. In a trauma bond, partners think they have true love or connection even though the relationship is harmful.
Much like love bombing, trauma bonds can give the resemblance of love. They're often confused for love because of the trying nature, and when you love someone, you do try. Trauma bond relationships are driven by fear, not love, which is the biggest differentiator between trauma bonds and love.
What's key to understand about a trauma bonding relationship is that it can't be healthy because it is not equal. “Oftentimes when folks are trauma bonding, it may look and feel safe for some,” says Eborn. “But there is a lot of inconsistency within the relationship, and it can be extremely dysfunctional.
There is no set time for how long it takes to heal from a trauma bond, as each person is different. Some people may find that it takes months, or even years, to overcome the effects of being in a trauma bonded relationship. You can begin the healing process by cutting off contact and seeking therapy.
Who Is Most Vulnerable to Trauma Bonding. People who have a childhood history of abuse — physical, emotional, sexual, or neglect — are most vulnerable. Growing up in a volatile, neglectful, or abusive home can make this type of behavior seem normal or feel familiar.
Narcissists do feel the trauma bond, but not in the same way that the people that they abuse feel it. A trauma bond makes narcissists feel remarkably well because the dynamics of a trauma bonded relationship are designed to help them regulate the painful thoughts, feelings, and emotions that they've suppressed.
Some long-term impacts of trauma bonding include remaining in abusive relationships, having adverse mental health outcomes like low self-esteem, negative self image, and increased likelihood of depression and bipolar disorder, and perpetuating a generational cycle of abuse.
In a trauma bond, you might: justify abusive behavior, for example: “they're only yelling at me because they are tired” cover for your abuser. tolerate abuse to please them.
This form of abuse involves the partner not speaking to you as punishment, acting like they're part of a group of people more important than you. This is a toxic health communications technique. The silent treatment involves not talking to a person for a long time until they break down and beg for forgiveness.
In order to heal and find trauma resolution, a person must be able and willing to see how their compulsive behavior only aids in forming trauma bonds and therefore they must break the compulsivity. Codependency on the other hand, focuses more on the addiction.
Some theories suggest this is our subconscious mind trying to resolve old wounds. Even minor traumas, like the feeling “my parents never heard me,” can lead you to be attracted to, or hypersensitive to, someone who struggles to be present with you. They are, in essence, lighting up old wounds within you.
Yes, a trauma bond can be fixed. It might require a lot of work, and it probably won't be easy as well, but as long as both people involved in the unhealthy dynamic are willing to change their situation, things may improve. This might be extremely difficult, however, if only done by the couple.
Exposure to trauma can be life-changing—and researchers are learning more about how traumatic events may physically change our brains. But these changes are not happening because of physical injury; rather, the brain appears to rewire itself after these experiences.