The emergence and development of narcissistic traits, such as seeking excessive admiration from others, feelings of grandiosity and interpersonal competitiveness, have mostly been related to traumatic experiences in childhood [12,13,14].
Narcissism tends to emerge as a psychological defence in response to excessive levels of parental criticism, abuse or neglect in early life. Narcissistic personalities tend to be formed by emotional injury as a result of overwhelming shame, loss or deprivation during childhood.
Expo- sure to a traumatic stressor that produces PTSD can also produce symptoms of narcissistic injury, although the nar- cissistic reaction is not as prominent as the anxiety symp- toms.
Social learning theory holds that children are likely to grow up to be narcissistic when their parents overvalue them: when their parents see them as more special and more entitled than other children (9).
Narcissistic features can be a cause and consequence of traumatisation. To have a narcissistic parent or partner can generate different problems and in some cases must be considered a type of emotional abuse. The development of narcissistic traits is in many cases, a consequence of neglect or excessive appraisal.
Often, NPD will begin in the teenage years or early adulthood. Personality disorders are typically diagnosed at 18 years or older, according to Hallett.
Personality disorders, including NPD, are notoriously challenging to treat. This challenge is even greater when individuals do not identify with having a problem. That said, with intention, effort, and dedicated commitment, it is possible for a narcissist to change.
The results are quite clear: Parents who "overvalue" children during this developmental stage, telling them they are superior to others and entitled to special treatment, are more likely to produce narcissistic children -- who can grow up to become narcissistic adults, unless something is done about it.
Cramer (2011) showed that children raised by authoritative and permissive parents (high responsiveness) exhibited more adaptive narcissistic tendencies, such as superiority and grandiosity, whereas children raised by authoritarian parents (low responsiveness) were less likely to exhibit such traits.
Summary: For most people, narcissism wanes as they age. A new study reports the magnitude of the decline of narcissistic traits is tied to specific career and personal relationship choices. However, this is not true for everyone.
Do Narcissists Also Feel the Trauma Bond? Abusive narcissists likely do feel the bond too, but differently. It's so confusing for anyone in a relationship with a narcissist who's abusive to understand why they continue to hurt them, even when they say they love them.
Based on overlapping symptoms, Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) are often mistaken for one another. The two personality disorders even have a rate of co-occurrence of about 25 percent, according to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI).
THE BASICS
Sadly, because they were primed in childhood to become people-pleasers or to fawn their way through life, many adults who have experienced profound childhood trauma are at an increased risk for attracting narcissistic partners who negatively reinforce their childhood pain.
Why do trauma survivors attract narcissists? It is the specific features and emotional support that the person with trauma is looking for in their life. Their need for constant reassurance and acceptance in the relationship is exactly what the narcissist is willing to offer, at least for a short period of time.
“You knew I didn't like it, but you still did it to hurt me.” “You only think about yourself.” “You always look for attention.” “You don't deserve everything that I have done for you.”
A narcissistic mother may feel entitled or self-important, seek admiration from others, believe she is above others, lack empathy, exploit her children, put others down, experience hypersensitivity to criticism, believe she deserves special treatment, and worst of all, maybe naïve to the damage she is causing.
A narcissistic parent will often abuse the normal parental role of guiding their children and being the primary decision maker in the child's life, becoming overly possessive and controlling. This possessiveness and excessive control disempowers the child; the parent sees the child simply as an extension of themselves.
Although people of all genders become increasingly more narcissistic, there is a form of narcissism that seems to afflict men more than women. This is a form of narcissism that stems from a very close and unhealthy mother-son attachment relationship.
According to Julie L. Hall, author of “The Narcissist in Your Life: Recognizing the Patterns and Learning to Break Free,” narcissists become more extreme versions of their worst selves as they age, which includes becoming more desperate, deluded, paranoid, angry, abusive, and isolated.
Narcissists are fully aware that they are narcissistic and have a reputation as such. Narcissists would rather be admired than liked. Narcissists are masters at making first impressions, leading them to do better with short-term relationships.
Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) occurs on a spectrum. People with narcissism can, in fact, show empathy and work to develop it further if they choose to do so. Many myths about narcissism stem from the belief that all people with this condition are evil and incapable of change, but that just isn't true.