Even minor traumas, like the feeling “my parents never heard me,” can lead you to be attracted to, or hypersensitive to, someone who struggles to be present with you.
Childhood trauma can impact relationships because we learn about emotional bonds early in life. So, when people we depend on for survival hurt us or aren't present, it can impact how we view human connection.
Posttraumatic stress disorder often numbs the trauma survivor. PTSD can drain interest in doing anything social or participating in hobbies or activities, as the person with PTSD feels generally distant and disconnected.
Trauma can make it extremely difficult to maintain relationships as it forces us to constantly remain in 'fight or flight' mode. Feeling constantly on edge and that you need to be on high alert at all times makes it extremely difficult to trust another person.
When you experience a traumatic event or series of traumatic events it can lead to self-limiting beliefs and feelings of shame. It might make it difficult for you to assert yourself and set boundaries within a relationship, or even know what a “healthy” relationship looks like.
Spouses and partners can also experience emotional after-effects of trauma together. Those partners who experience a trauma at the same time may cope with the trauma in different ways, and those coping skills may strengthen or destroy relationships.
Emotional Trauma Symptoms
Psychological Concerns: Anxiety and panic attacks, fear, anger, irritability, obsessions and compulsions, shock and disbelief, emotional numbing and detachment, depression, shame and guilt (especially if the person dealing with the trauma survived while others didn't)
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD): Fearing touch may come from experiencing or witnessing a traumatic event. It may occur after sexual abuse, sexual assault or rape.
Physical or sexual abuse: Abuse in childhood can make it difficult to form both emotional and sexual intimacy as an adult. Neglect: People who experienced neglect as children may find it difficult to trust and rely on others, including intimate partners, as adults.
Traumatized individuals have an extreme mistrust of the Arousal Cycle. As they are reminded of the traumatic experiences that they have gone through, feelings of fear and frustration begin to smother and overwhelm them.
The symptoms of unresolved trauma may include, among many others, addictive behaviors, an inability to deal with conflict, anxiety, confusion, depression or an innate belief that we have no value.
Trauma dumping is defined as unloading traumatic experiences on others without warning or invitation. It's often done to seek validation, attention, or sympathy. While some initial relief may come from dumping your trauma onto someone else, the habit actually does more harm than good.
Acting clingy
An individual might hold on to a relationship even though it consistently makes them feel frightened or unloved. Moreover, relational trauma can also lead people to feel and act clingy even when they're in a loving, stable relationship. This may occur with no obvious reasons for being insecure.
Initial reactions to trauma can include exhaustion, confusion, sadness, anxiety, agitation, numbness, dissociation, confusion, physical arousal, and blunted affect. Most responses are normal in that they affect most survivors and are socially acceptable, psychologically effective, and self-limited.
Adults who have experienced childhood trauma usually have heightened levels of anxiety. They may worry excessively and have trouble managing their anxiety. It can lead to persistent feelings of sadness, lack of interest in activities, and difficulty experiencing pleasure.
Most unresolved childhood trauma affects self-esteem and creates anxiety. Did you suffer a serious childhood illness? If so, you were likely isolated at home or hospitalized. This meant being removed from normal social activities and you probably felt lonely, maybe even worried about being different.
A 2021 study in the Journal of Affective Disorders found that hypersexual behavior may be a reaction to past trauma, and that it's linked to post-traumatic stress disorder and depression.
“The fear of intimacy can be caused by different reasons including abuse or neglect, medical problems, fear of abandonment, or religious beliefs. Sometimes, it can even be a combination of issues and securing the help of a professional is necessary.”
Highlights. Hypersexuality is derived from particular pathways of post-traumatic symptoms. Depression is strongly related to hypersexuality, although gender has an important role in our model. Depression and guilt are serial mediators of trauma-hypersexual behavior relations.
Trauma can be held in the body, leading to physical symptoms years later — such as headaches, jumpiness, chronic pain, and dissociation. When you have an overwhelming experience, your logical mind might feel “over it” before your body does.
Often, the triggering of old trauma wounds ignites a sense of being overwhelmed. People become flooded with feelings of anxiety and may experience panic attacks. The only way they can calm their distress is to push the other person away and create some distance.
If the trauma is left untreated, one can experience nightmares, insomnia, anxiety, depression, phobias, substance abuse, panic attacks, anger, irritability, or hopelessness. The individual might also begin to have physical symptoms such as gastrointestinal distress, rapid heartbeat, or extreme fatigue.
Symptoms of Unresolved Trauma
Hypervigilance and inability to let one's guard down5. Lack of trust and difficulty opening up to other people6. Dissociation and a persistent feeling of numbness7. Control issues, to overcompensate for feeling helpless during the traumatic incident8.
Why people experience trauma. Most people are indeed entirely unaware that they are suffering from trauma at all. Many put their symptoms and negative experiences down to stress which is often vague and unhelpful, particularly when trying to get to the core of the problem.