However, just because a partner cheat doesn't mean the relationship will end. According to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), many relationships continue after a partner cheats. In fact, some relationships tend to be stronger and more intimate after therapy.
“But you can forge something through it.” Experts say it's possible for couples to go on to have a happy relationship after infidelity, provided they're willing to put in the work.
Relationships can survive infidelity if both individuals are willing to do the work of processing their emotions and thoughts with the goal of healing from the infidelity together. Moving past infidelity takes time and patience, but healing can result in greater growth and resilience for the couple.
Having an affair, whether short or long term, can help them be more committed to their relationship because they're not lacking excitement, and they don't feel as though they are missing out on anything in life.
The way people feel about cheating on a spouse or partner can vary. Some feel really bad and truly regret it, others not as much. But no matter how much guilt or remorse a cheating person expresses outwardly, they all feel it inwardly to some extent.
They experience crushing guilt
The thought of someone finding out what he has done makes it hard for him to focus on his work and distracts him from time with his family. Deep regret is with him all the time, and he may even stop (or try to stop many times) the affair due to his feelings of remorse.
People who cheat are likely impulsive and destructive at decision making. Instead of thinking about you and what happens to the relationship after cheating, they go based on what they want right now. Impulsiveness can be seen in other areas of the relationship, too. So keep an eye out.
There are many potential reasons why a person may cheat. There are eight key reasons and motivations for affairs, including low self-esteem, anger, low commitment, lack of love, neglect, sexual desire, need for variety, and circumstances.
Cheating can destroy a marriage, shatter your ability to trust future partners, hurt your kids, and even lead to depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). The vast majority of adults agree that it's wrong, but anywhere from 39 to 52% of us may experience infidelity at some point in our lives.
Mental health issues such as depression and anxiety have been linked to infidelity. A person may also experience relationship anxiety, which often results in a person feeling more insecure about themselves. It can also induce doubt towards one's partner, and excessive worry that one will be cheated on again.
There is no one right answer decision. It all comes down to the unique relationship you have with your partner and whether or not you feel it is possible to forgive them for cheating. If you decide it is not possible, that's okay. And if you decide it is possible, that's okay too.
Marin understood the pain that cheating could cause but warned against generalizing those who have been unfaithful. "People who cheat, they're not terrible, evil, horrible people. There are plenty of really great, wonderful people who cheat, as well," added Marin.
Improved future relationships
Forgiving someone who has cheated on you can improve other relationships. It helps break down barriers after you feel betrayed. By letting go of negative feelings associated with the incident, you'll be able to reconnect to others without fear or judgment.
The Reasoning
There are many reasons people cheat, but according to Campbell, they usually fall into three categories: individual, relationship, and situational.
According to estimates based on married couples, approximately 25% of men admit to cheating on their spouse at some point, while around 15% of women admit to the same. Another study found that up to 4% of married individuals had cheated on their spouse in the past year.
"The person who got cheated on will feel devastated. They'll be angry and hurt. Their trust will be broken. Part of the healing process is needing to ask all the questions that are necessary for them to understand why the betrayal happened.
Experts like Nelson agree the only reason to stay with a cheating spouse is if he or she is deeply and genuinely sorry for the betrayal and willing to work for your forgiveness. This means they show they understand the pain you went through after learning about the affair, Dr.
No, cheating doesn't mean your love wasn't real.
Whether you believe that someone can love their partner in the moment of infidelity or not, it's difficult to argue that there was never any love in a relationship just because someone cheated. People fall in and out of love all the time.
Cheating husbands may be defensive over the smallest things. They may seem unusually sensitive or touchy about things that seem harmless to you. If you ask an innocent question about what they had for lunch, they may snap at you and accuse you of being controlling or demanding.
A person may also try to control or manipulate you, which is toxic behavior. When a partner is constantly cheating: If an intimate partner lies and cheats without even trying to change their behavior, it adds a toxic element to the relationship.
So fairly or unfairly, cheaters do get their karma in some way or the other. It's a fallacy to think that people who stray have it easy. While the reason for entering an affair might be different for each person, it is common for cheaters to feel guilt, shame, anxiety, worry, and other negative emotions.
If cheaters are truly remorseful and do not intend to stray again—as the desire to confess would suggest—it may actually be more selfless to keep the knowledge to themselves. People who are not directly involved in the affair should consider some of the same questions before telling what they know.