[3] When it comes to interacting with those around them, ADHD-ers “were generally described as being sociable, caring, sensitive to the moods and feelings of others as well as loyal, noble and altruistic”.
Falling in Love with ADHD
It's true: Attention deficit disorder (ADHD or ADD) has strained more than a few romantic relationships. Equally true (though less recognized) is the fact that partners with ADHD are among the most loyal, generous, engaged, and genuinely fun people you could meet.
Adults with ADHD are good with people, creative, flexible, and calm in a crisis, all of which can be beneficial in any relationship. Adults with ADHD can be very engaged as they can hyperfocus on areas of interest, Roberts explains. “This can make the start of a relationship a whirlwind.
Can someone with ADHD fall in love? While all kinds of people can fall in love, the experience of people with ADHD falling in love can be more intense for them. This is because the person with ADHD can hyperfocus on the person they are in love with.
Many people with ADHD experience intense feelings of rejection and loss at the end of a relationship. Those feelings are intensified at the end of a toxic relationship. A licensed mental health professional can help you process the relationship's ending and any trauma you may have experienced.
The roots of hyperfocus in ADHD relationships are complex, but the end result is often clear: While some partners may feel smothered, many get swept away by the over-the-top adoration. Then, when the obsessive love fades — or, more commonly, ends abruptly — the other partner feels abandoned and keenly bereft.
A rush of biochemical euphoria comes with “new love.” Those of us with ADHD often hyperfocus on romance, not just for the sake of romance, but also to increase those pleasure-producing neurotransmitters (dopamine) that are in short supply in our brains. Highly charged emotions are not part of lasting love.
ADHD is not the kiss of death. The condition, alone, can't make or break a romantic relationship. But, if symptoms of attention deficit disorder (ADHD or ADD) are not properly acknowledged, treated, and accepted, they can — and often do — create or exacerbate marital tensions.
If you're in a relationship with someone who has ADHD, you may feel lonely, ignored, and unappreciated. You're tired of taking care of everything on your own and being the only responsible party in the relationship. You don't feel like you can rely on your partner.
For those of us with ADHD, traits like rejection sensitive dysphoria, big feelings, and obsessive thinking prolong and worsen the pain of a breakup. After a heavy dose of heartache, I'm here to share my tips for moving on. Breakups cut deep in the ADHD heart.
What may seem to be “love bombing” is actually a manifestation of the ADHD partner's “hyperfixation.” Instead of being hyperfixated on a hobby, interest, etc., the ADHD partner will be hyperfixated on their new partner.
Yes, ADD/ADHD people are hard to love, but once you understand the burden they are carrying, your heart will open up. Love and compassion will take the place of anger.
“Opposites Attract”: People with ADHD are attracted to “organized” and joyless workers bees who can keep the trains running for the both of them and who in turn are drawn to their free-spirited ADHD partner's spontaneity and sense of fun.
Yes, those with ADHD, like anyone else, can indeed be untruthful, manipulative, and intentionally misleading. But for those who struggle with ADHD, their various processing issues can often be at the heart of their misleading communication problems.
An ADHD person flirts however they like to flirt. Not initiating conversation is a personality thing. Plenty of ADHD people flirt and initiate, perhaps more than average, because they may do it whenever they feel like it, without editing.
For patients diagnosed with adult ADHD there tends to be a “honeymoon period”, where they are really happy with treatment. They are excited and like 'wow I feel great' / 'this is so much better'.
The impulsivity, disorganization, and difficulty with focus that are often associated with ADHD can create challenges in communication, trust, and intimacy in a relationship.
Lack of consistency. Toxic communication — such as contempt, criticism, and sarcasm. Controlling behavior and distrust. Abusive — this is also inclusive of emotionally abusive behaviors, such as gaslighting, love bombing, breadcrumbing etc.
Setting clear boundaries and working on communication can also help reduce friction in relationships. Seeking treatment through coaching, therapy, medication, or a combination of those things can also help people understand their own behavior.
ADHD brains crave stimulation, and they just might chase relationship drama to get it. Next time you catch yourself (or your partner) falling into these common traps — outlined here by Dr. Daniel Amen — take a step back and re-evaluate.
As we've discussed, unfortunately, many people with ADHD tend to have a lack of empathy. This can be addressed, though, through identifying and communicating about each other's feelings. If you see a disconnect between ADHD and empathy in your child or in your spouse, don't give up hope.
Folks with ADHD may tend to be impulsive or angry, but they're not always violent. ADHD doesn't directly lead to violence or aggression among those who live with this condition, but some people diagnosed with ADHD may be more violent due to symptoms like emotional dysregulation and impulsivity.
Ari Tuckman, renowned author and ADHD specialist: People with ADHD often feel others are trying to control them. This includes family members, romantic partners, bosses, coworkers and friends.