If you're in love with your partner, then you'll never feel limited or held back from trying new things. However, if you're merely comfortable, then chances are you'll settle for routine over new opportunities.
Love evokes fond feelings and actions toward the other person, particularly. Attachment is driven by how you feel about yourself with the degree of permanence and safety someone gives you, based on your past relationships.
If you find yourself totally disinterested in what your partner thinks, feels, says or does, it's likely that loving feeling is gone. Arzt adds people who “only do the bare minimum” may be falling out of love. “They may oblige with date night, but they feel restless and bored,” she says.
A lack of passion isn't a bad thing, though! It means that you've reached a new stage of your relationship. The definition of comfort is “a state of being relaxed; satisfaction provided by a person.” You know all there is to know about your partner, and you feel completely relaxed enough to be your true self.
Love couples look forward to being together
On the other hand, couples in it for convenience live parallel lives; the time they spend together is not joyful and may not be a mutual experience.
You Have Trouble Communicating
It makes sense to have doubts about your relationship if you feel like you can't talk to your partner. Like trust, communication is a fundamental part of a healthy relationship. Both people in a relationship should be able to go to each other with thoughts, feelings, and concerns.
You're in the right relationship if you feel your partner is there for you when you need support, and that the relationship is overall a great addition to your life. In short, it's adding value to the joy you experience in life. Conflict in a relationship is inevitable and normal.
We all give and receive love in 5 different ways: words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch. These are called 'love languages' - a concept created by Dr. Gary Chapman through his long-time work as a marriage counsellor.
You know you're falling in love when your someone begins to take up major real estate in your thoughts. You might find yourself rehashing your conversations in the middle of work, thinking about your next date days in advance, or even envisioning your future together.
To determine if you actually love your boyfriend, ask yourself if you can accept him for who he is. Do you love his personality, way of life, the good qualities and the bad? If you can see yourself putting in the effort to show love to this person, despite his flaws, then it can be a good indication you love him.
"It's important to give someone a chance as you build the relationship, even if you don't feel that initial pang of chemistry," says Ury. "The right relationship might take some time to warm up, but it'll be worth the wait."
Stonewalling, one of the Four Horsemen, is Dr. John Gottman's term for one or both partners shutting down when feeling overwhelmed during conflict. Rather than confronting the issue, someone who is stonewalling will be unresponsive, making evasive maneuvers such as tuning out, turning away, or acting busy.
It is completely natural and there can be dozens of reasons why your loving feelings towards someone can change and the love diminishes even though you once felt so deeply passionate about this person.
"Doubt in relationships, particularly after being with your partner for a long period of time, is a common feeling we all may undergo at some point. It's normal to have fear or uncertainty about the person you are with." It's part of the human condition.
Love versus emotional dependency.
"Love" that comes from fear isn't love—it's neediness. Emotional dependency comes from the inner emptiness that is created when you abandon yourself—and you then expect your partner to fill your emptiness and make you feel loved and safe.
Love Is Selfless; Attachment Is Self-Centered
Josue says that the major difference between love and attachment is that “love is a feeling directed toward the 'other' (the other person, place or thing), while attachment is self-centered — meaning based on fulfilling your need.”
One way to distinguish between love and infatuation is whether your feelings are based on idealization or rooted in reality. If you are attracted to someone based on your fantasies or hopes for who they are instead of who they truly are, you are likely experiencing infatuation.
In real life, true love is two people who are willing to put aside their personal desires for the other person. It means loving someone enough that you're willing to look past their imperfections. This doesn't mean that you don't see your partner's flaws, but that you choose them anyway.
Maintaining close physical contact
If a man wants to show that he loves you, he will always want to stay close to you. However, when it comes to how do guys express their feelings, you will notice that they maintain physical proximity with you. He might hold your hand, hug you or wrap his arm around you.
Your partner can do no wrong
Your new love doesn't feel contrite or admit wrongdoing—ever: That's a red flag. “If the new person you're seeing has a hard time showing you they're imperfect, or apologizing for even silly mistakes, this relationship probably will not last,” says Bregman.