Narcissistic personality disorder involves a pattern of self-centered, arrogant thinking and behavior, a lack of empathy and consideration for other people, and an excessive need for admiration. Others often describe people with NPD as cocky, manipulative, selfish, patronizing, and demanding.
Arrogance and Contempt
These defenses inflate a narcissist's ego with an air of superiority to shield against unconscious feelings of inadequacy. It also shifts shame by projecting inferiority onto others.
Because narcissists are overconfident and convinced of their own superiority, they have been shown to rely more on their own intuition than listen to experts, and to be skeptical of others.
But there's actually a pretty significant difference between arrogance and narcissism, and it's definitely worth acknowledging. While there are cocky, arrogant traits that fall into both camps, experts agree that a narcissistic person will be way more toxic to be around.
Narcissists can sometimes be helpful and caring. However, more often than not, they only pretend to have these qualities. Moreover, even when they act giving and helping, they are not motivated by empathy because they severely lack it, and as a result, their help is often not very productive.
They are particularly sensitive to perceived negative attacks because they live in a pseudo-reality or delusional state about themselves in relation to others. They may genuinely believe they are superior to others, so when positive reactions come their way they may take them for granted.
Narcissists are so insecure that they constantly need praise and admiration from others. They seek it from others and sometimes, even from themselves. The reason is that they want to be superior to all and this is the only way they know how to make themselves feel better.
Although narcissists act superior, entitled and boastful, underneath their larger-than-life facade lies their greatest fear: That they are ordinary. For narcissists, attention is like oxygen. Narcissists believe only special people get attention.
And vulnerable narcissists, who freely admit to feeling bad about themselves, are not exaggerating; they really do feel bad about themselves. In general, then, narcissists seem to be pretty honest when they tell you how they're feeling.
Grandiose sense of self-importance
Grandiosity is the defining characteristic of narcissism. More than just arrogance or vanity, grandiosity is an unrealistic sense of superiority. Narcissists believe they are unique or “special” and can only be understood by other special people.
Red Flags When You're In a Relationship With a Narcissist
Downplays your emotions. Uses manipulative tactics to “win” arguments. Love bombing, especially after a fight. Makes you second-guess yourself constantly.
“To what extent do you agree with this statement: 'I am a narcissist.'” Scientists believe that this question could be all researchers need to make a quick and easy diagnosis of narcissism.
Narcissistic rage occurs when a narcissist is confronted with contrary beliefs about their perceived importance or grandiosity. The narcissist is injured, and responds with anger. Being on the receiving end of this rage can produce feelings ranging from anxiety to downright terror.
Narcissists thrive on getting attention, feeling special, and having control. He is an expert at getting an emotional reaction out of you – good or bad – because it makes him feel powerful and better than you.
They get jealous about everything
They talk a good game, but narcissists actually have very low self-esteem. Low self-worth/confidence/esteem is at the core of a narcissism. This low sense of self naturally makes it extremely easy for them to become jealous – very jealous.
It comes hand-in-hand with this that narcissists hate being criticised or called out. Which is exactly why there's one word in particular narcissistic people cannot stand: "no".
A monumental weakness in the narcissist is the failure to look internally and flesh out what needs to be worked on. Then, of course, the next step is to spend time improving. The narcissist sabotages any possibility of looking deep within.
Type As can also be dangerous to narcissists
Although they can be targeted, type A people can also become a narcissist's worst nightmare. One of the most important defenses against dark personalities is having strong boundaries yourself, and type A people are usually aware they have the right to build them.
It's not known what causes narcissistic personality disorder. The cause is likely complex. Narcissistic personality disorder may be linked to: Environment — parent-child relationships with either too much adoration or too much criticism that don't match the child's actual experiences and achievements.
A key trait of narcissists is confidence – they are attractive because they think of themselves as attractive. They believe in their own value, so this confidence and charisma become qualities that pull others in, that makes them the life and soul of the party.
Narcissism is positively associated with self-assessed intelligence, but not objective intelligence.
Narcissistic rage is often the “go-to” response for narcissists who feel threatened or attacked by others in some way. All this may include sudden, intense outbursts of anger that can involve verbal threats, aggression, and violence.
Narcissism and its Origins
Narcissism tends to emerge as a psychological defence in response to excessive levels of parental criticism, abuse or neglect in early life. Narcissistic personalities tend to be formed by emotional injury as a result of overwhelming shame, loss or deprivation during childhood.