In short, I'm of the belief that most dumpers ARE NOT afraid to contact their exes. Instead, they're simply falling victim to their natural avoidant tendencies which makes most people think they're afraid of contacting them.
It depends on what the circumstances are. If the dumper didn't end the relationship but wanted a break, then it shouldn't matter after said time. If the dumper was finished with the relationship, but the dumpee was not, then NC should be until the dumpee has moved on and is indifferent.
Generally speaking, some dumpers regret their decision to break up only weeks after the incident. Other dumpers need years to feel that way. And some never even arrive at the final stage of dumpers remorse. Instead, they move on to someone else — be it a rebound or not.
So, Does The Dumper Hurt Too? In short, yes, but their grief is going to be different because if the dumper is an avoidant they've come up with all these coping mechanisms to suppress how they're feeling. Think of it like a more agonizing process that on the outside might not look like they're grieving at all.
Cutting off contact with the Dumper often triggers a “reaction,” because it means that the Dumpee takes back their power. They are signaling that they don't want to be dependent anymore. Some Dumpers don't like that and will make an attempt to get their power over them back.
While dumpers, like the dumpees, may also want their ex back and could be looking for signs they still have a chance, they do have it easier after applying the no contact rule recovery-wise. For starters, they usually aren't as overwhelmed with emotions.
It's unlikely that an ex will forget about you, even if you don't communicate with them after the breakup. Relationships tend to make an large emotional impact on both people involved, so it's likely your ex will remember you and the relationship even after the breakup. Do exes miss you?
There is no easy way to deal with a breakup, but remaining silent actually speaks volumes to your ex. After all, actions speak louder than words! By staying silent, you're telling your ex that you're strong, resilient, and independent. You're relying on yourself — and no one else — for your own happiness.
The dumpee can move on quicker because they had no choice in the matter. The dumper will always wonder if they made the right decision AND carry the guilt of hurting someone.
One of the telltale signs he is hurt after the breakup is if he can't stop talking to you. Indeed, he knows you guys have broken up, but letting go is hard for him. He will text you, call to ask about your work and friends, or look for an excuse to hear your voice. These signs mean he cannot accept your separation.
Sadness (and regret) – Not every dumper reaches regret, but it is inevitable that they will hit sadness because no matter how they cope, no one can avoid grieving a loss.
To see if the dumpee is miserable or see if there's still a chance. Don't give the dumper have the satisfaction of knowing how much their leaving affected you.
Dumpers remorse refers to the regret, ambivalence, and general discomfort someone feels after breaking up with someone. Not everyone goes through this experience, but it's extremely common. Generally speaking, breakups are hard on everyone.
How does the dumper feel when the dumpee moves on during the No Contact? A dumper's reaction depends on two things: their personality and the feelings they had about you. If he didn't have very strong feelings for you and the relationship wasn't working: The dumper will feel relieved and happy about you.
If you average all the reputable research on the ex recovery process and chances of getting your ex back, there's about a 43.5% chance your ex will come back without doing anything.
After several days, a couple of weeks, or months, it depends on how the dumper feels during no contact rule; you will start getting curious.
If a secure attachment ex broke up with you, they are much more likely to move on from the breakup quickly compared to the other attachment styles. They have so much fortitude and self-confidence that they understand that there is much more to them as individuals aside from their relationship.
The honeymoon stage (6 months) The anxious trigger stage (1 month) The avoidant trigger stage (2 months) The separation elation stage (1-2 months)
Silence speaks volumes
The best revenge is no reaction. Believe it, the silence and zero reaction really bothers your ex, and they consider it as the best served revenge. Nothing creates more curiosity than silence. Your ex would expect a vent or an angry rant from you, but don't give in.
There are two main reasons why an ex might refuse to talk to you: They are hurt from the breakup. They want to win the breakup.
Their conversations are all about you
They talk about the good times you both have shared, they recall your good and bad habits, they confess something they did while you were together, or they just smile thinking about those times.
Dumpers remorse is the residue of love. It's an emotion your ex feels when they break up with you but regret it later. And while your ex feeling this emotion does increase your chances of getting them back, it doesn't guarantee that it will happen.