Some narcissists may calmly respond to your tears and simply ask you not to cry. They may say that to try to act compassionate and make you believe that they're comforting you. What is this? But truth is, it's about how your tears are making them uncomfortable.
While people with narcissism aren't devoid of emotions, their motivations may be self-focused. They can know they're hurting your feelings, but as long as it elevates their status, they may not care. Someone living with narcissism does cry. They can feel regret, remorse, and sadness.
Narcissists often react to an emotional wound with rage outbursts, passive-aggression, or denial to protect themselves from future harm. Common signs of narcissistic injury include projection, gaslighting, and manipulation.
The narcissist revels in your pain because they don't identify with empathy, they identify with power and control. They target people with a high level of empathy because they are easier to manipulate. It gives them a sense of great satisfaction and power to know that they can cause you pain.
He devalues sources of supply, callously and off-handedly abandons them, and discards people, places, partnerships, and friendships unhesitatingly. Some narcissists - though by no means the majority - actually ENJOY abusing, taunting, tormenting, and freakishly controlling others ("gaslighting").
Narcissists are highly sensitive to criticism or any perceived threat to their self-image, and they will go to great lengths to protect it. If you criticize them or challenge their dominance, you will trigger a defensive response.
Regret can occur if your action hurts someone else, or if it hurts you, including the potential to hurt you. For a narcissist, they can experience regret, but their regret is inward focused and is void of concern for how it could have affected someone else.
It is a myth that narcissism is synonymous with inability to experience sadness. Like anyone else, people with NPD still experience emotions and crying. However, their experiences are much more likely to be self-serving and less likely to be rooted in empathy.
It is because of this that they may find it difficult to understand other people's feelings or perspectives, a self-centredness that can cause them to act selfishly and exploit others for their own gain. “As narcissists do not have empathy, they are not able to genuinely care or love you,” explains Davey.
The narcissist wants you to feel unsteady and unsafe. This means emotionally unsafe and can include physically or sexually unsafe as well. This gives him more control over you and makes him feel powerful.
Narcissists can feel emotional pain, but not usually in the same way as others. The emotional pain they may feel is usually related to underlying selfish needs. Underneath the displays of superiority and sense of entitlement, they often feel empty, powerless, and shameful, which they perceive as weakness.
An injured narcissist will go into a narcissistic rage and self-sabotage relationships with their loved ones or at work in order to preserve their false self at all cost. They will hold the critic in contempt and view them as a threat for their survival.
The narcissist will start discounting doctors, minimizing the effects of the illness, and parading others around with similar illnesses in an effort to shame their spouse into believing that the sickness is only a mental manifestation of the spouses weakness. This is like pouring salt onto an open wound.
They will often deploy a variety of narcissistic relationship patterns such as manipulation, charismatic, and exploitational tactics in order to ensure that their own needs and wants are met. As a spouse, you may be the subject of their manipulation and abuse, while your partner treats everyone else positively.
Reasons That Narcissists Cry
There are a few different reasons why narcissists might cry. One possibility is that they are crying because they feel overwhelmed. They may be experiencing a lot of negative emotions and not know how to deal with them. This can lead to them feeling out of control and eventually, tears.
The best way to know if a narcissist loves you is by looking at their behavior over time rather than just relying on words or expressions of affection. If they are consistently putting your needs first, even when it doesn't directly benefit them, then it may be possible that they truly care for you.
They can show great interest in romantic prospects and seduce with generosity, expressions of love, flattery, sex, romance, and promises of commitment. Amorous narcissists (Don Juan and Mata Hari types) are adept and persuasive lovers and may have many conquests, yet remain single.
Because vulnerable narcissists have unstable self-esteem, they are often prone to intense emotions such as anger, envy, shame, and resentment. They fear others realizing or pointing out their imperfections and will have strong reactions whenever this happens, or they perceive the threat of this happening.
For example, a narcissist might offer an insincere apology to get something in return. They might apologize to make themselves out in a victim position or to repair the damage that's been done to their image. There are narcissists who don't apologize for their actions.
It is common for people with a narcissistic personality disorder to regret discarding or losing someone, but it does not mean what you might think. If they feel regret, it is not because they hurt you. It is for losing something that they value. You are a possession, not a real person.
Narcissists can love, but this superficial and momentary affection serves as a way to get what they want from others. While their role as caring partners, parents, or friends may appear genuine, a lack of empathy and devotion to themselves renders narcissists unable to develop meaningful relationships.
Narcissists cannot be in long, healthy relationships because they only love themselves. So a narcissist will never regret losing you; they will simply move on to the next person that helps them feel better about themselves.
Apologize. If you've heard someone say, “Narcissists never apologize,” they're not exactly right. While many traits of narcissism like entitlement, elitism, and arrogance make it unlikely someone with narcissistic traits will go the apology route, apologies are sometimes used with ulterior motives.