Why you shouldn't look for closure?

Seeking closure can become a crutch that keeps you from doing the actual work of moving forward. You are asking someone who was not forthright with you in the first place to tell you what happened (if they had been, you wouldn't need closure). There are no guarantees the other person will be honest with you.

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Is it wrong to seek closure?

Closure is important after a breakup because:

Your brain needs an authentic narrative to make sense of what happened. Without closure you might keep going back to a relationship that wasn't working. You could be doomed to repeat the same relationship patterns the next time around without closure.

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Is it selfish to ask for closure?

You must begin to understand that closure is a selfish desire and not something you actually need in order to begin your healing process. We must remember to separate our needs from our wants; we can live without our wants but our life requires that are most basic needs are met at all times. 1.

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Why do people look for closure?

People seeking closure are motivated by the benefits it can provide. For instance, closure can give someone a feeling of control where there wasn't one before, and it can provide a stronger foundation on which one can take action and move forward. The brain has a need for closure to process and perceive feelings.

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Why do guys not give closure?

The reason men don't give you closure is that most men don't want to admit that they're not man enough or the woman is too much." By 'too much' he means her standards are too high and the man can't meet the requirement.

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8 Reasons They Refuse to Give Closure & How This Keeps You Stuck

37 related questions found

Can you move on without closure?

Yes, it might not be easy to move on from a relationship that did not have any closure. But it doesn't mean it's impossible. By having the right approach, discipline and some patience, you can move on in a positive direction.

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Is it worth contacting an ex for closure?

Reaching out to apologize to an ex for your hurtful actions can be really meaningful to them, as long as it's about making them feel validated and not just about clearing your own conscience. Sometimes it can also be helpful to let your ex know the ways they've hurt you.

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How do I stop obsessing over closure?

If you want to get someone out of your mind, here are a few ways to do so.
  1. Find a distraction. Watch a good movie, read a book, go outside, or do something else to occupy your time.
  2. Practice meditation. ...
  3. Mindfulness helps too. ...
  4. If you find yourself thinking about them, see if there are any triggers. ...
  5. Talk to a therapist.

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When should you reach out for closure?

That being said, make sure you have closure on your breakup before reaching out. "The best time to reach out to an ex is when you've fully processed and healed from the breakup," Moreck said. "In other words, share your scars, not your wounds.

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Should I ask for closure or move on?

Psychologist Stephanie Ambrosius says asking for closure after a break-up can help both parties find clarity and comfort – and explains how to respond compassionately. Let's face it: break-ups are messy, and most of us have been left with a broken heart at some point in our lives.

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Is it OK to text an ex for closure?

When It's Acceptable to Text Your Ex. According to Walfish, there's definitely a time when it's acceptable to text your ex—particularly when there are signs that you two might be able to reconcile. "These signs include that they express and demonstrate genuine accountability and remorse for having hurt you.

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Why do exes reach out years later?

Why Do Exes Reach Out Years Later? There are several reasons why ex's reach out years later, including they are just checking up on you, they want to offer a sincere apology, or they are jealous of your happiness.

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Should dumpee reach out to dumper?

Today we're going to talk about if the dumpee should ever contact the dumper after a breakup. The quick and short answer: Yes, in fact I'd encourage it but only if a certain set of criteria is met. And that's what this article is about, showing you the criteria in which the dumpee should contact the dumper.

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Why am I obsessed with someone I can't have?

An obsession, especially with someone you can't have, can be all-consuming, It can seriously affect your everyday life and even lead to anxiety and depression. Sometimes obsessive thoughts stem from conditions like OCD. Whilst others come from unfulfilled desires or a strong attachment to someone.

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Is it okay to seek closure from an ex?

Closure in relationships is essential, but if there's no way to get it from your ex, you need to find it yourself. Understand that no amount of apology will make them come back. So, it's a good idea to stop blaming yourself for the breakup. Let go of self-pity and start taking care of yourself.

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Do exes come back after closure?

Yes, exes do come back. They do it all time. We conducted a study and found that around 30% of people get their exes back after a breakup. But out of those 30%, only 15% stay together in a healthy relationship.

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Is ignoring your ex the best revenge?

The best revenge is no reaction. Believe it, the silence and zero reaction really bothers your ex, and they consider it as the best served revenge. Nothing creates more curiosity than silence. Your ex would expect a vent or an angry rant from you, but don't give in.

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Why does my ex refuse to give me closure?

Your Ex Girlfriend Is Afraid of Hurting Your Feelings

She might be concerned about hurting your feelings and making things worse. So the lack of closure could be one of those things that reflect on her not wanting to cause you and her more pain. She could be sparing you and herself from more pain and heartbreak.

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Should I break no contact for closure?

Usually the answer is that you should not break no contact and you need to wait longer so that no contact can work on your ex more. If you've been dating more than three months, waiting a month and a half before even considering contact is ideal.

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Why is it so hard to move on without closure?

Without closure, it's hard to move on, because there are still so many things you have left to say to this person. There are a million things you wanted to admit to them, explain to them, clear up for them. Even worse, there are so many questions that have been left unanswered.

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How do you know if a dumper regrets?

Here are some of the signs your ex regrets dumping you.
  1. They begin to communicate with you.
  2. They apologize for the breakup.
  3. They show more affection.
  4. They discuss issues in their present relationship.
  5. They try to atone for past mistakes.
  6. They show pessimism when you tell them someone else is involved.
  7. They stalk you.

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Is it worse to dump or be dumped?

No contest here, dumping is a breeze compared to being dumped. Being dumped is like getting the sack from work but worse because it feels like someone's just sacked you from your own life.

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Do dumpers usually regret?

Dumpers remorse refers to the regret, ambivalence, and general discomfort someone feels after breaking up with someone. Not everyone goes through this experience, but it's extremely common. Generally speaking, breakups are hard on everyone.

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Why do old flames come back?

Old flames often rekindle, she theorizes, because a physical, chemical imprinting occurs when we meet our first love. It typically happens when we are young and impressionable. "What we find is that once those emotional memories get started, those feelings are strong and resilient," Kalish says.

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When should you not reach your ex?

If you were in a toxic, abusive, or manipulative relationship, you might decide against contacting your ex. These qualities ould carry from a romantic relationship to a platonic one. Additionally, those impacted by abuse may feel a need to turn to past abusive partners due to the cycle of abuse.

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