Some experiences feel too painful or traumatic to talk about. Whether you feel like you don't want to burden the listener with those big emotions, or it's just too much to feel those emotions, it can be more difficult to share your feelings and story as a result.
People tend to hold in their upsetting or difficult emotions out of fear. A deep fear of being vulnerable, of being seen, and then of being negated, guilted or shamed in some way for that vulnerability.
Emotional stress, like that from blocked emotions, has not only been linked to mental ills, but also to physical problems like heart disease, intestinal problems, headaches, insomnia and autoimmune disorders. Most people are ruled by their emotions without any awareness that this is happening.
Be validating. It's important not to invalidate your partner's communication style or their feelings, even if they are different to your own. 'Avoid pressuring them or blaming them and let them know you understand,' says Dr Elena. 'They may need some time if they are feeling dissociated or numb and “out of body”.
Men often feel that they need to be self-reliant and provide for their loved ones, so it is not appropriate to express their emotions. This behaviour can be reinforced in the stereotype of the heroic male, so often represented in popular culture.
From an early age, men are conditioned to believe that expressing their feelings is out of character with the male identity. Doing so can ruin their image of being strong and stoic. Specifically, men are told that crying in front of other people will threaten their masculinity. The same can be said about mental health.
Hiding your feelings has a high cost. A study from the University of Texas found that when we avoid our emotions, we're actually making them stronger — this can create serious implications for your body and mind. Bottling up emotions can make people more aggressive,” according to the research.
The first reason is simple: Men often aren't encouraged to talk about their feelings. In fact, they're sometimes discouraged from doing so. Additionally, men often tend to shy away from vulnerable conversations. “It's a little social, but it's also a little biological,” Vossenkemper explains.
It doesn't have anything to do with you or how they feel about you. If your husband or partner shuts down when you cry, for example, it may be because they don't know the best way to handle that display of emotions. It's not that necessarily they don't care about you or value your feelings.
He's probably going through a difficult time in his life. He doesn't know how to deal with the feelings he has for you. He might have a commitment phobia. He might have been hurt before and doesn't want to be in that position again.
There can be several reasons why men pull back when they get feelings. For instance, some men may pull back because they are afraid of being hurt or rejected, while others may do so due to fear of commitment.
While the chemistry is sizzling, you haven't been able to connect with him emotionally. He doesn't speak to you about himself, his dreams, his background, or his past. The guy is a closed book as far as you are concerned. If these things define your relationship, it is a sign he is not serious about you.
Specifically Invite Their Emotions To Join The Situation
For some people, they need a personal invitation to share their emotions. A simple, “How do you feel about this?” can open the doors to a dialogue and make them feel like what they have to say isn't just welcome, but an important part of the conversation.
Stonewalling is when a person in a relationship withdraws from an interaction, shuts down, and simply stops responding to their partner. Rather than confronting the issue, people who stonewall resort to evasive maneuvers.
One of the key signs that you're emotionally detached is that you aren't open or forthright with others regarding your emotions. You tend to keep things very private, hidden, and under wraps. Even if you're feeling sad or hurt, you never open up about this to others or let your true emotions show.
An emotionally unavailable person is also not receptive or supportive when you express your feelings. If your partner becomes uncomfortable, put off, frustrated, or withdrawn when you choose to open up and be vulnerable, this is an indicator that they're not good at handling emotions—both their own as well as yours.
The effects of suppressed emotions include anxiety, depression, and other stress-related illnesses. Such suppression can lead to alcohol and substance abuse.
Reticent means either quiet or restrained. If you're reticent about your feelings, you like to keep them to yourself, and you're probably quiet in rowdy groups where everyone is talking over each other. The original meaning of reticent describes someone who doesn't like to talk.
Psychology says, the longer you hide your feelings for someone, the harder you fall for that individual | Psychology says, Hiding feelings, Psychology.