It is perfectly normal not to cry when someone dies. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, and everyone deals with loss in their own way. It doesn't mean that you don't care, that you are cold, or that you are broken in any way. It simply means that you process your emotions in a different way.
Not only is it okay to cry when someone dies, but it's also almost essential as an outlet to releasing pent-up emotion. Sometimes when someone dies, the urge to sob uncontrollably overcomes us, and we lose control over our emotional responses. Uncontrolled crying can happen when least expected.
You've already experienced “anticipatory grief”
This pre-acceptance can affect the way you grieve following the death, and may even ease your sense of loss. Remember that this is a normal process, so try to go easy on yourself when you don't cry the way you expected when a loved one passes.
Instead, we want to reassure those who aren't crying that it's okay. Crying isn't a required step in grieving a loss; it is not a measure of how much you love the person who died, and you can still grieve healthily even if the tears don't flow.
Remember that it is okay to feel relief.
If you feel guilty that you're relieved, happy, or not sad about a death, let's think through the feelings. What you are relieved or happy about is that you are now safe and no longer fearful.
Making big life decisions or drastic changes
After losing a loved one, you might feel like you need a fresh start. But it's usually a good idea to hit the pause button before selling your house, quitting your job, or breaking up with a long-term partner.
"Talking or being on your phone during the service is one of the most disrespectful things you could do at a funeral," says Myka Meier, Beaumont Etiquette founder and etiquette expert. It's important to be as present as possible. "Silence your phone, shut off your phone, or even just leave it behind.
Usually people say a short prayer by the casket and then proceed to share their condolences with the family. Attending a visitation can be the hardest part for people to attend, because it involves talking to the deceased's family.
It's not only okay to smile at a funeral but it's also encouraged, especially when greeting the bereaved. Seeing someone smile at us can help lift our spirits. It's also a nonverbal way of showing support.
It's common for the grief process to take a year or longer. A grieving person must resolve the emotional and life changes that come with the death of a loved one. The pain may become less intense, but it's normal to feel emotionally involved with the deceased for many years.
When you lose someone close to you, that grief never fully goes away—but you do learn to cope with it over time. Several effective coping techniques include talking with loved ones about your pain, remembering all of the good in your life, engaging in your favorite activities, and consulting with a grief counselor.
Grief affects your feelings.
At times, you might feel sadness, anger, anxiety, guilt, or despair. At other times, you might feel relief, love, gratitude, tenderness, or hope. Try to be aware of your feelings and how they come and go. Try to accept how you feel instead of thinking you should feel a different way.
As each person is different, so too is the manner in which men grieve. Some men will become enraged. Others will cry, and then there will be another group who appears strong and stays active. All are perfectly fine reactions as long as feelings are not avoided at all costs.
Crying is a way of expressing sadness. It helps people who have lost someone close to them express their grief and sorrow. (Talking about the dead person also helps.) People cry because they will never again see the person who has died and they know they will miss that person.
Once buried, most caskets cannot keep bugs out indefinitely due to the natural decomposition process. However, some measures – such as the use of burial vaults and airtight seals – can keep bugs out for hundreds or even thousands of years.
While you should generally steer clear of bright colours and loud prints (unless otherwise requested), other things to avoid include very revealing or overly casual clothes, like ripped jeans, sheer tops or pieces with inappropriate cut-out details. Accessory-wise, keep things minimal.
Funerals are emotional events and if there is family conflict, estranged relationships, or other reasons that can make the occasion uncomfortable, then the better personal choice may be to not attend. Funerals are a way for friends and family to say their goodbyes, reminisce, or grieve, and ultimately find closure.
You can demonstrate your love, attention, and support to a grieving person in a number of ways. While just your presence can be enough, still a kind word, a compassionate touch, or a loving hug can mean much to show the bereaved that you care about and support them.
Is It Appropriate to Take Photos at a Funeral? Unless explicitly requested by the deceased's family, it is best to avoid taking photographs at a funeral or memorial ceremony. Taking candid photos of the relatives in their most vulnerable moments of grief might cause stress and destroy the mood during the service.