While you inevitably will think of your ex-partner from time to time, eliminating contact and ceasing innocent “check-ins” can help reduce how much your mind wanders back to them and your relationship. It can also help prevent confusing feelings for both of you.
Why is no contact effective? No contact can be effective when you are able to stick to it. This is because it could signal to your ex that you are not going to let them dictate all the rules of the relationship. They may understand that they must change how they are acting if they want you back.
The no-contact rule will not help you get your ex back
But despite what some people will tell you on the internet, no contact is not particularly effective for getting an ex back. Just because some people have exes who reached out to them after a period of no contact doesn't mean this will be the case for everyone.
The success rate of this rule is usually almost as high as 90% because the person who has broken up will inevitably contact you for one of two reasons. First, they may be missing you and feel guilty, and second, they miss having power over you and are curious to know how you are doing without them.
Psychology Surrounding The No Contact Rule
It is by no means a time for playing games. So if you are serious about wanting to get back with your ex, or you think you are serious, then you need to completely devote this period of no-contact to clearing your mind and putting things back in perspective.
Usually, the no-contact period must extend for at least 30-60 days. During this time, there should never be calling, no texting and no engagement on social media platforms.
It works by giving your mind and heart time to miss the familiar feeling of being with your ex. It's easier for you to let go of the relationship because you're going through it alone, without being in constant contact with your ex. This, in turn, will help you regain your self-esteem as you reorganize your life.
“You may also find yourself reminiscing about your relationship and going over the breakup.” Going “no contact” allows you more time to healthily process the loss and grief of your relationship. Ultimately, it can help you mend your heart, accept that the relationship is over, and begin dating again once you're ready.
He might only think about himself.
He probably won't be wondering what you're feeling—instead, he'll only be thinking about how it's your loss or how to move on to the next girlfriend. Unfortunately, going “no contact” doesn't inspire a change of heart in every guy.
When guys start to miss you after a breakup depends on the man and his relationship. For some men, it may take weeks, while for others, missing their ex doesn't start until months later. Nonetheless, guys start missing you when they realize how important you are or how much your absence affects their lives.
Staying friends makes the split more difficult
There's a reason that couples aim for a clean break — it's easier on your heart if you have some space away from your ex and your former relationship. It helps you to take the time to heal and get on without your ex's presence in your life.
Roughly 4 weeks of time alone should be enough to get back into the normal rhythm of the single life. It might feel messy and strange at first, but after 30 days you may find yourself feeling much better. While 30 days is a good rule of thumb, everybody is different.
Here's why ignoring your ex is powerful: it gives you space to explore your own emotions and heal from the pain of heartbreak. Naming, acknowledging, and accepting your feelings. Noticing and naming emotions gives us a chance to step back and make a choice about what we want to do with them.
The psychology of no contact on dumper is a coping mechanism to help you think hard about what went wrong and how you could be a better person and a potentially better partner to the next person who will come along. Instead of thinking about your ex, you have to focus on self-improvement and healing.
After things start to settle down, the male mind, during the no-contact phase, starts to look for your presence in his life. He slowly starts to miss you and your presence in his life. As time passes, his longing for you grows, and he feels deep pain and anguish inside himself!
The poll's results suggest it takes an average of about 3.5 months to heal, while recovering after divorce might take closer to 1.5 years, if not longer. So, 3.5 months to heal. Interestingly, healing from divorce takes longer, 1.5 years.
Neither of you wants to lose so you both just end up giving each other the silent treatment. Not wanting to lose the breakup is usually the most common reason for an ex's silence after a breakup, but it goes even deeper than that.
For some the “missing emotion” can be fleeting. For others, all consuming. In all though, yes, there's a high likelihood that the dumper will miss the ex at some point.
Take time apart. Once you've decided to give him 3 days (and you've both agreed on it), take time apart from each other. This means avoiding any form of communication, including texting, calling, or social media. Give each other space to cool off, recollect your emotions, and reflect on the argument.
The hardest part can often be the initial decision to cut off contact, as it may feel like a significant and final step in the breakup process. It can also be challenging to adjust to not having the regular communication and support that you were used to during the relationship.
In many cases, a guy will be ready to contact his ex woman on the 3rd day of no contact after a break up. Giving her that amount of space proves the point to her that you're not being needy and desperate. So, just go ahead and contact her if you feel ready to do so.
Give yourself room to grieve.
These stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. We don't necessarily go through them in any specific order, and we don't graduate from one before we move on to the other and never look back. It's very possible to alternate between two stages, sadness and anger.
Female psychology after a breakup has shown that women tend to have a more intense emotional response after a breakup when compared to men. She is likely to experience significant grief during this time of no contact. She will also have countless thoughts wandering through her mind.
Simply put, the female mind during no-contact rule is more likely to struggle with negative feelings. Your ex will be a mess for a while. Crying, grieving, feeling anxious, and even entering a depressive phase. It can be overwhelming for her to come to terms with the idea of leaving behind a shared life with you.