Most men grow emotionally distant because they are raised to not show their emotions. An emotionally unavailable husband usually avoids confrontation and does not show vulnerability. Being straightforward and talking it out is the best way to deal with an emotionally distant partner.
You may feel lonely, emotionally deprived in the relationship, to the point of having thoughts of ending it. That is understandable. However, just because someone is currently emotionally unavailable does not mean you need to end the relationship.
Of course, an emotionally unavailable person can change, but like any personal overhaul, they have to want to do it themselves. “The trick is for you not to try and change them.
Emotional unavailability can stem from poor parenting, childhood trauma, depression or anxiety, or a lack of trust due to previous relationship issues. Emotional unavailability can be permanent or temporary in nature and can be difficult to resolve depending on the underlying cause.
There's a term for this: walkaway wife syndrome. This term is sometimes used to describe instances where a spouse – often the wife – has felt alone, neglected, and resentful in a deteriorating marriage and decides it's time to end it.
Lack of empathy and compassion
Your emotionally unavailable spouse doesn't seem to empathise with what you like or dislike and doesn't care much about what you might be going through. He is also not very supportive when you are sick or feeling down.
The best thing to do in situations like this is to understand emotionally unavailable people can't be “fixed.” They have to want better for themselves and seek the necessary help. And in many cases, it's better for the emotionally available partner to leave, at least until this happens.
One of the possible reasons why a man can turn emotionally unavailable is because of past hurts. When you ignore an emotionally unavailable man, there is a possibility that this could trigger an old trauma or hurt. Instead of him opening up or realizing, he might feel you're doing the same thing again.
If you need a lot of quality time, affection, and reassurance, an emotionally unavailable partner is not the right fit for you. If you find yourself constantly pursuing your partner for more intimacy and closeness, take a moment to really consider if you can do this for the rest of your life.
Many people ask questions like can emotionally unavailable men fall in love? The answer is yes! They can fall in love when they see the right person. Emotionally unavailable men would be ready to drop all their unhealthy behaviors so that they would not scare their love interest away.
Emotional neglect occurs when a spouse fails on a regular basis to attend to or respond to their partner's emotional needs. This is marked by a distinct lack of action by one person toward the feelings of the other, including an absence of awareness, consideration, or response to a spouse's emotions.
“When you meet someone who isn't emotionally available, you may notice that their communication behaviors are inconsistent, they pick and choose when they answer you or don't, wait stretches of time before they text you back, hoping to keep you on the line—and all of these are red flags.”
Have a conversation with your partner and make sure they understand that their emotional unavailability is a problem for you. Confirm that they are willing to do something about it. Make sure that they understand that they need to take responsibility for making a concerted effort to reach out to you.
Emotional Unavailable People are Not Always Toxic. An emotionally unavailable is someone who finds it difficult to share feelings and to get genuinely close to another. It doesn't mean they don't have feelings — they do — but they can't access or express them, often both.
Signs of emotional abandonment.
You experience feelings of rejection, isolation, and/or neglect within your marriage. Your partner frequently gives you the cold shoulder in response to your attempts to get their attention.
Emotionally unavailable partners might prefer having casual relationships with multiple people or may end relationships if things are getting “too serious.” In a friendship, the person may be hesitant to make plans or might cancel those often.
Stonewalling, one of the Four Horsemen, is Dr. John Gottman's term for one or both partners shutting down when feeling overwhelmed during conflict. Rather than confronting the issue, someone who is stonewalling will be unresponsive, making evasive maneuvers such as tuning out, turning away, or acting busy.
Maybe he's been spending a little extra time on his phone instead of talking to you, or maybe he's not as interested in intimacy as he once was. He might be feeling stressed, or he might be having a deeper problem that you need to discuss.
There are some common reasons that your partner may not be initiating sex, many of which have nothing to do with you. Maybe they're feeling badly about their body, perhaps they are stressed, or maybe they're not feeling confident about their sexual skills.
"Silent divorce refers to a gradual slow decline of a relationship whereby two people drift apart," says relationship therapist Beverley Blackman.