You are certainly not alone in your struggle with a cat that is afraid of or aggressive toward one person, and this behavior is often a reaction to stress. Your cat may have been frightened by your guest or your guest may play too roughly with him, for example, causing stress and the aggressive behavior.
Fear is the most common reason for aggression even to familiar people, followed by play and petting-induced aggression. Handling issues are also common. Many cats are naturally reluctant to being picked up or having their bodies touched or manipulated.
Why does my cat bite me and not my partner? This will depend on the reason behind the biting. If the biting is a response to being scared, it could be that the cat is fearful of that person in particular, perhaps because they are new in the home or have done something to frighten them.
The most common reason that cats bite their owners isn't that they have an aggressive cat, it's because they are trying to play! While sharp teeth or claws may not feel very “playful” to you, hunting behavior equals play behavior for your kitty. This means stalking, pouncing, biting, and kicking.
Avoid situations that you know make a cat aggressive. Separate cats that act aggressively toward each other and reintroduce slowly with positive reinforcement, as described in the Territorial Aggression section. Food treats are excellent positive enforcers of non-aggressive behavior.
Avoid all confrontations. Make a list of situations and things you do that cause your cat to become aggressive and conscientiously avoid these situations. If your cat bites you to make you get out of bed, shut him out of the bedroom at night.
1) Do not allow him on to your lap unless you are in control. Begin with very short stroking periods and then place him back on the floor and stand up. Then give him a small treat such as a short play session with a toy or a small amount of food. Try to recognise the warning signs and stop well before they appear.
Cats bite because they are fearful, stressed, or frustrated. They do not act out of spite or anger. There is always a good reason (in their mind) behind the behavior.
Your cat may become clingy as a result of stress, insecurity, or generalized anxiety. This could be caused by a significant change in routine, the addition or loss of a household member, an unfamiliar visitor, or loud noises, to name a few.
Very often a cat will give a “love bite”. Sometimes it's a warning that he wants to be left alone, but it is often a mark of affection. If the bite does not pierce the skin, but merely holds on, it's this latter. If the cat is biting hard enough to draw blood, I don't know what to tell you.
Cats are prone to jealousy, which may be why they sometimes attack their owners' husbands.
Your Cat Isn't Jealous
It's actually confusion and fear that have her being less than hospitable to your spouse. Your cat is a territorial creature of habit and it can be very unsettling and stressful for her to suddenly have someone unfamiliar spending time in the house.
Noise, boredom, or too much competition for resources such as food or the litter box can all cause aggression. Make sure you provide plenty of access to calm “escape” spots, playtime, and other resources.
They include: Dilated pupils, direct staring. Thrashing/twitching tail. Hissing, growling or spitting.
When you notice aggressive signs, try to separate the cat from the situation. Try to maintain positive reinforcement instead of punishment. Once they're ready to be reintroduced, use calming toys or food to help take the stress off the situation.
Research suggests that catnip targets receptors in their brain to make them feel happy. After an initial bout of stimulation and excitement, the herb helps soothe your cat and calm its aggressive behavior.
Love bites
Some cats may gently nibble or bite their owners as a sign of affection. It is thought to be reminiscent of how a mother cat will groom her kittens with small bites and is more common in cats who have had litters. This is not usually a problem form of biting.
Burmese are often considered to be the most affectionate cat breed. They love being with people at all times and crave close physical contact, making them the ultimate companion cat for a devoted family. They will follow their owner from room to room and prefer to cuddle up on the sofa or sleep in bed with them.
Species appropriate punishment such as “hissing” or the use of punishment devices such as a water sprayer, can of compressed air, or hand held alarm are better than using any physical techniques since they are less likely to lead to fear and retaliation.
Do Cats Have Alphas? Not really. The concept of an “alpha” comes from now-outdated research on wolves. In more recent years, researchers have come to understand that wolf packs are actually family groups and the adults that are “in charge” or “alpha” are the parents.
Some breeds noted for their Alpha tendencies are Abyssinian, Siamese, Rex cats, and other “Oriental” breeds. Their mixes are easily spotted because of their long legs and lean bodies. Devoted acrobats, they retain their kitten playfulness and energy most of their lives. But any cat can be an Alpha.