Cheating can destroy a marriage, shatter your ability to trust future partners, hurt your kids, and even lead to depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). The vast majority of adults agree that it's wrong, but anywhere from 39 to 52% of us may experience infidelity at some point in our lives.
Some look at cheating as a black and white issue and others as one with many shades of grey. These differing viewpoints can cause big problems in any relationship. The question as to whether cheating is ever justified is both an ethical and moral one. The general answer for most is, “no”, it is never okay.
Inherent Selfishness/Entitlement. Some cheaters, despite loving their partner and enjoying their relationship, feel they deserve more. Rather than seeing their vow of fidelity as a sacrifice made to and for their relationship, they view it as something to be worked around.
Cheating
Whether cheating while playing games or infidelity in romantic relationships, all forms are examples of toxic traits that destroy relationships. For instance, infidelity is the most common cause of divorce.
The only way cheating can be justified is if the reasons behind the actions matter to you as a couple (or to you as an individual). Some people find the act of cheating unforgivable, regardless of the reasons behind it. Others consider all the factors. It all boils down to your personal feelings.
Experts say it's possible for couples to go on to have a happy relationship after infidelity, provided they're willing to put in the work. “The couple can survive and grow after an affair,” says Coleman. “They have to—otherwise the relationship will never be gratifying.”
There are many reasons people cheat – even when they truly do love the partner they have committed to – and although sometimes it means there's a problem in the relationship that needs to be addressed, just as often it has nothing to do with the relationship or with their partner, but instead has to do with their own “ ...
Know That You Aren't a Bad Person
"Cheating is a very serious thing. It's a very big deal, and you should take the time to really sift through all of those feelings and reactions you're having," said Gloria. "At the same time, you also need to recognize that this doesn't make you a categorically terrible person.
The most important thing to remember is what cheating says about a person. They're insecure, impulsive, selfish, and immature. Sometimes, it's a chronic problem that likely won't ever be fixed, just be sure not to ignore the warning signs.
Give a clear account of the infidelity without using vague language. Say "I had sex with this person on three different occasions," and not "I hooked up with this person a few times." Don't leave anything open to interpretation and don't try to soften the blow by lying.
Although many people believe in the adage, “Once a cheater, always a cheater,” it is not necessarily true. Not every person who cheats once will cheat again. However, serial cheaters are people who seek out sexual partners on a continual, chronic pattern of infidelity.
Close to 25% of marriages stay together after an instance of cheating. And more men than women stay married when they are the cheating partner (61% vs 44%).
The mistake was something you did without intention; the bad decision ( choice ) was made intentionally—often without regard for the consequence. It's easy to dismiss your bad decisions by reclassifying them as mistakes. Mistake and choice are two different things. Cheating is always a choice, and never a mistake.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to spend your life voraciously pursuing multiple sexual partners. There is, however, something wrong with withholding from someone information which, if revealed, would change their decision to be with you.
Here's what we do know about the prevalence of cheating. A 2021 survey by Health Testing Centers polled 441 people and reported: a little over 46% of respondents in a monogamous relationship said they had affairs. nearly 24% of marriages affected by infidelity reported staying together.
Between one in four to five Americans have an affair in their lifetime. Among men, 68% feel guilty after having an affair. Even if they haven't confessed the affair, most cheating husbands will feel guilty and express that guilt in their behavior.
It takes a high level of commitment, respect, and empathy to remain faithful to someone you love. Cheating is inherently an immature behavior that puts a lack of self-control and impulsivity on display. Both hallmarks of immaturity.
Research in the field of infidelity reveals that there are three distinct personality types correlated with a higher likelihood of cheating: sociopaths, narcissists, and lonely hearts.
Those who cheat for relationship reasons do so because they don't feel satisfied. "Researchers find that partnerships characterized by dissatisfaction, unfulfilling sex, and high conflict are at higher risk for infidelity," she says.
Forgiving someone who has cheated on you can improve other relationships. It helps break down barriers after you feel betrayed. By letting go of negative feelings associated with the incident, you'll be able to reconnect to others without fear or judgment.
According to the General Social Survey, men are more likely to cheat than women, with 20% of men and 13% of women reporting having sex with someone other than their partner while still married. However, the gender gap varies per age.
Affairs usually begin with an attraction to someone you know fairly well, someone you spend time with each week — your friends and co-workers.