It may be a reflection of low self-esteem, a diminished sense of entitlement, an unconscious wish to avoid any possibility of criticism or disapproval before it even occurs, an excessive wish to placate and please, some underlying river of shame, or a desire to show off what a well-mannered Brownie Scout one is.
Over-apologizing can happen for a variety of reasons. Some of the most common reasons, according to Jocelyn Hamsher, a therapist in Arizona, include: false guilt (feeling responsible for something you are not responsible for) carried guilt (feeling guilt for someone else's behavior because they don't feel guilt)
If you are in a true relationship and you had a fight with your partner, it doesn't matter whose fault it is but saying sorry will make you feel better and loved. Apologizing doesn't always mean that you are wrong and other person is right. It just means that you value your relationship more than your ego.
It usually just means that she forgot or something came up.
Unless you were in the middle of a back-and-forth text conversation where the two of you were responding immediately, it's safe to assume she just put her phone down and forgot or she had something come up.
They apologize
First and foremost, people who are sorry for their actions will offer an apology. Sincere apologies generally come quickly and without prompting or pressure. They are not offered to avoid consequences. They are the result of someone truly recognizing the error of their ways and wanting to make amends.
"But if you type 'I'm sorry' and hit Send, nothing happens." In other words, while texting an apology isn't exactly a "toxic gesture," she said, it does strip you of your ability to train and strengthen your empathy muscles.
Over-apologizing stems from a submissive state; when individuals use this tactic, they try to avoid confrontation or an escalating situation. This behavior may be especially prevalent in abuse victims who are no longer with their abuser but have not adequately healed from their past.
But in a healthy relationship, saying “I'm sorry” when it's not warranted only stunts your relationship growth and stops you from getting to the bottom of what's really going on. Instead of just glossing over it, try to dig a little deeper—even if it means having an uncomfortable disagreement.
To be truly sorry means feeling regret or sorrow over an unfortunate situation and your role in it. But in unhealthy relationships, people often say, “I'm sorry” not to express genuine regret; instead, they use it to manipulate their significant other.
Apologies, when warranted, are a sign of empathy in the workplace. But over-apologizing — or excessively saying sorry when you don't need to — is a bad habit that can undermine your authority, and more importantly, it hurts your self-esteem.
It may be a reflection of low self-esteem, a diminished sense of entitlement, an unconscious wish to avoid any possibility of criticism or disapproval before it even occurs, an excessive wish to placate and please, some underlying river of shame, or a desire to show off what a well-mannered Brownie Scout one is.
An obsequious person might apologize often and more than necessary. You might also check out synonyms of obsequious.
If you're still hurt, mad, or upset
If you're still hurt or upset by someone's actions, be open about this. Let them say their apology and acknowledge their effort, but be clear that you aren't fully ready to move forward yet. Commit to revisiting it later after letting your emotions settle.
When your girlfriend brings up past mistakes, it could be a sign that she feels like the situation isn't resolved. Maybe you had a disagreement or conflict in the past and she still feels unresolved. Perhaps she's still hurt or angry about it and can't get over it.
Women are more forgiving than men in a relationship and marriage because women have feelings for others than men. A woman is very soft at heart and will always find reasons to forgive her partner no matter the nature of the offence, compared to a man who will still look at things rationally before he forgives.
“Over-apologizing can stem from being too hard on ourselves or beating ourselves up for things,” Dr. Juliana Breines, an assistant professor of psychology at the University of Rhode Island, explained. In addition to anxiety, another mental health disorder that can lead people to over-apologize is OCD.
But, when we talk about apologizing, we wrap all of these complex concepts up into a single practice. It's a common trauma-state response to want to avoid conflict. Conflict can feel dangerous.
If all else fails, instead of just saying, “I'm sorry” or asking, “Will you forgive me?” (again), try asking your wife to show you some mercy. I know this may sound like I'm playing with semantics, but the word “mercy” is significant, because it implies humility and brokenness on your part.