People become more focused on certain connections and strive to retain them. As we grow older, we become busier at work and, for some, at raising a family. This cuts down on the amount of time we have to socialize.
Soon after your mid-20s, your social circle shrinks, according to a recent study by scientists from Aalto University in Finland and the University of Oxford in England.
While people have known for years that friendships are unquestionably good for your health, experts say it's only natural for acquaintances and even friends to fall by the wayside as time goes on – and it's nothing to feel guilty about.
Your friendships get more complex but less complicated. As you grow older, your personal values become much clearer to you. When you are younger, you may make friends who have the same interests as you do. But as you grow older, your values may take precedence over liking similar things.
You give more than you take.
At times, one person may need more than the other. But if a friend is constantly a taker and rarely a giver, it's not a balanced friendship. If you're always there for them but they don't do the same for you, it may be a sign to move on.
Obviously, most people don't meet all of their friends during childhood and, unfortunately, not all friendships last forever. The poll found that the average friendship lasts for 17 years, however, 17 percent say they've had the same best friend for over 30 years!
Experts suggest seeing your friends at least once a week, if not more! Having good friends not only increases life expectancy but it also reduces stress and depression and can have a good influence on your health too.
“Physical limitations of aging or illness may also prevent someone from connecting with their friends in the way they used to,” Tessina adds. Some friends may grow apart due to distance—one may move closer to family or to a retirement community, for instance. Another cause of friendship fallouts can be arguments.
There's no “right” number of friends you should have, but research says most people have between 3 and 5 close friends. Friendship is necessary, but it can feel challenging to find people who really “get” you. What's more, what you need from your friends might change as your life circumstances change.
It's not necessarily a bad thing—as we go through phases in our life, we're bound to meet new people and get too busy to make time for our old friends. You may be focused on just a few relationships. As we age, we tend to narrow our social circles down quite a bit.
According to “The Friendship Report,” a global study commissioned by Snapchat in 2019, the average age at which we meet our best friends is 21—a stage when we're not only bonding over formative new experiences such as first love and first heartbreak, but also growing more discerning about whom we befriend.
All you need is three (or four, or five)
In the 1990s, evolutionary psychologist Robin Dunbar published a study claiming that humans can cognitively handle up to 150 meaningful social relationships (which includes family and friends) at any point, colloquially known as Dunbar's Number.
In fact, recent research from the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships revealed that it takes approximately 200 hours for a 'best friendship' to develop! 200 hours!!!
One study from 2016 found that those with at least six friends have better health throughout their lives, and a study from 2020 found that middle-aged women who have at least three friends typically had higher levels of overall satisfaction with their lives.
If you often think, "I have no friends," you might wonder if it is normal or okay to feel that way. While research suggests that friendship can be important for your well-being, this doesn't mean that you have to be surrounded by other people or have a long list of close friends to be happy or healthy.
Recent research actually tells us that the average female friendship lasts 16 years, which is 6 years longer than the average romantic relationship. Once we turn 55, our friendships on average last 23 years!
Friendships change over time. As people and their circumstances change, small disagreements and misunderstandings arise. Ultimately, friends who considered themselves close come to the realization that their paths have diverged. And the friendship could end with a bang or a whimper.
Respect each other
Accept your friend as he/she is, support each other in hard times, and don't talk about him/her behind his/her back. If each person feels safe, appreciated, and confident in the relationship, your friendship will have more chances of lasting!
They're never around in difficult times
So, being too busy, citing excuses, or flaking out on you every time you need help or support is one of the unmistakable signs your friend doesn't truly care about you.