Some people don't feel the need to plan ahead; they are comfortable with the notion that something can make them happy for now — even for a long time — without wanting to commit beyond that. Others are all about long-term commitment but take issue with the legal institution of marriage.
Probably the #1 reason a man hesitates to propose is because of some kind of fear. To be honest, he may not even experience this fear on a conscious level, nor would he label it as fear. But fear can have many disguises. It is very normal for both men and women to experience degrees of fear at the prospect of marriage.
The truth of the matter is that there is no right or wrong length of time to wait to get engaged. Some couples wait six years before making it official, while others date for just six months—it all depends on your unique circumstances.
No proposal was necessary. The proposal is often deemed an essential step toward marriage, having been around since ancient Rome. But many couples today consider it obsolete or superfluous. Some could do without the engagement ring as well.
It is possible, however, to have a committed and loving relationship without marriage, and some people who are uncomfortable with marriage ultimately change their minds. A disagreement about marriage doesn't have to end your relationship, particularly if you both are committed to the relationship.
When he's going to propose, your man might start to act just a little weird. One of the biggest signs that he is going to propose is a change in his general attitude. He'll go out of his way to tell you how much he loves you. He's hoping you'll do the same; he's looking for confirmation that the time is right.
One lasting side effect for taking too long to propose is that your partner may begin to feel resentful. They may feel as though something must be wrong with them that is making you not want to pop the question. Or they may start feeling like you just don't value them or take them seriously.
“If your partner doesn't want to get married and you do, you should not necessarily leave,” says Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin, a counselor and co-founder of the The Marriage Restoration Project. “Sometimes one partner feels pressured and is reluctant to commit.” But time can change this, Slatkin says.
Women tended to be more slightly cautious than men. While 20% of men said they thought six to 12 months of dating was long enough, only 16% of women agreed. The most popular response from women was 12-18 months of dating before an engagement, with 21% choosing this answer.
According to a new study, it takes around six months, or 172 days, for a person to decide if the person they are dating is marriage material.
Among heterosexual couples, 97 percent of grooms report proposing to their brides, according to Lauren Kay, the executive editor of the wedding-planning website The Knot.
In some cases, a marriage proposal rejection doesn't mean that the other person is not serious about the relationship. It may just mean that they are not ready yet. They might still have many plans in their career and single life, and marriage is a topic that has not crossed their minds yet.
After marriage, men work more, spend less time with friends, and are expected to take care of others. Men have an inner view that after marriage — but not before — their partners have the right to tell them what to do. And this could be one of the overwhelming reasons why men don't want to get married.
It could be that he has commitment issues. It could be that he wants to propose in a fancy and memorable way and hasn't found the moment yet. It could be that he has tried to propose to you like 5 times already and got too nervous to do it each time and is now building up the courage to do it again.
It's likely that both you and your partner could benefit from some space after a proposal is turned down. Give yourself a few days to think and to allow yourself to feel sad and heartbroken. You will need some time to process your feelings about your relationship. During this time, stay off social media.
How long should you wait before proposing? Here's the thing—there is no right or wrong timeframe for when to propose. The important thing is that you and your partner are on the same page about your future together. Good communication is key, and so are having regular check-ins about your relationship.
In general, however, I recommend that my clients who are over 40 date for no more than six months before making a decision.
In one survey of 500 men, 70% said they'd be psyched if a woman proposed! So you may be surprised how many men would love the idea. Many men are simply too nervous to propose when they'd like to and would love the pressure to be taken off them by having the love of their life make the first move!
He Shares His Future Plans With You
Whether it is tailoring his decisions based on your goals or considering you before making major life decisions, he has you and your life together on his mind. If he frequently uses 'we' more than 'me,' it is clear that he wants to marry you.
Start by telling your mom you want to propose to your significant other. This is a huge step in your life and you should start by sharing it with her. Not close with your mom? This will bring you closer and establish a new, adult relationship/friendship with mom.