The undefined nature of situationships can make them singularly hard to recover from, says Jessica Alderson. As she says, “in situationships, there's often a lack of clear boundaries, commitment, and labels, making it difficult to know where each person stands”.
"If you're experiencing heartbreak from someone you weren't in a relationship with, it's really heartbreak over the loss of a fantasy – a wish, a longing, a projection that you had about them, a hope, rather than the person themselves," Dr Ben-Ari says.
How long is a situationship supposed to last? Situationships can last for a few days, weeks, months, or even years. Just like in other relationships, there's no expiration date unless one or both of you choose to end the situationship and move on.
Since there is no clear line or boundary for what a situationship should be and how one should handle it, it can result in emotional and mental trauma, just like it does during a breakup but worse.
These types of relationships often lack clear boundaries, commitments, and labels, which can lead to confusion and frustration. While situationships may seem convenient at first, they can quickly turn toxic and leave you feeling unfulfilled.
In a situationship, there's typically no discussion of the future. The connection is superficial: Though you and your partner may spend time together, or may even be intimate with each other, you may not have developed a deep emotional connection.
But these types of vague relationships can be more than just confusing to the people involved—in fact, experts say they can sometimes have a profound impact on a person's mental health, leading to feelings of depression, anxiety and deflated self-esteem.
It's a red flag if they force you to prolong the situationship after months of dating. It's a red flag if they disregard your feelings about the situationship. It's a red flag if they make you feel bad for wanting more from the relationship after countless dates.
You're Not Feeling Up To It Anymore
If you or your partner suddenly start coming up with excuses not to hang out, go out or do things together, then it may be a reflection of the end of the road. Situationships, or relationships, are mostly comprised of spending time together.
It's been three months or more. Three months is more than enough time to know if you want to commit to someone else. You have an idea of who each other is at this point. If they still “don't know” what they want or what they're looking for, it's in your best interests to walk away.
Bilek agrees that an open and frank conversation is the only productive transition from a situationship into something more. “Tell them, 'This is a good partnership for me,' and make sure to ask them how they feel.” Even if the conversation is hard, the resulting clarity will be worth the stress, Romanoff says.
While it may share some similarities with a friends-with-benefits relationship, the two terms do not mean the same thing. A friends-with-benefits relationship is when friends engage in casual sex without taking on the commitment aspect of a relationship. A situationship, on the other hand, lacks a formal label.
But a situationship ending can be a brutal experience. Sure, commitment may not be present, but you can't take away the pain from a situationship breakup. It hurts just as much as normal breakups do. In some cases, even more.
In fact, it happens all the time. Here's what the experts recommend. Bring your partner into your world. One way to transition your situationship into an actual relationship is to introduce your significant other to your friends, co-workers, and maybe even a couple of family members.
Going no contact is only helpful for you to move forward. The no-contact rule will not make your situationship want to commit to you. Full stop.
Breadcrumbing, also known as “Hansel and Gretelling”, refers to leading someone on by contacting them sporadically and without the intention of entering into a relationship. Breadcrumbers are not usually interested in commitment; their aim is to receive attention and feel attractive and popular in the dating world.
If you find yourself in a situationship, consider it a huge red flag because this is not a partner that is willing to commit — or maybe you're the partner unwilling to commit. A situationship is usually one-sided, ambiguous, and the ultimate stagnation in your journey to find a companion for life.
The lack of clarity and commitment can cause anxiety, uncertainty, and insecurity, leading to feelings of loneliness, depression, and low self-esteem. People in situationships often struggle with understanding their partner's intentions and expectations, leaving them with a constant sense of unease and stress.
No. A situationship can be a lot of fun and allow you to discover what you can tolerate in a potential partner or relationship. But it's important to remember that while you might not want to label it a 'real' relationship, the people who enter it are real and so are the emotions that come with them.
Being romantically rejected can be a familiar feeling that mirrors one's childhood, leading that person to seek out more of the same. People with a history of rejection may sometimes subconsciously seek out similar scenarios, hoping that the story will have a different ending.
Sometimes obsessive thoughts stem from conditions like OCD. Whilst others come from unfulfilled desires or a strong attachment to someone. This can be distressing when the feelings are directed at someone unavailable or inaccessible.
Trauma or experiences in childhood that lead to an insecure attachment style may lead to fear of abandonment. People with a fear of abandonment may develop obsessive tendencies. People may be fearful to be alone and they may make threats or take impulsive actions in order to prevent a partner from leaving.