For most of us, hurting others causes us to feel their pain. And we don't like this feeling. This suggests two reasons people may harm the harmless – either they don't feel the others' pain or they enjoy feeling the others' pain. Another reason people harm the harmless is because they nonetheless see a threat.
They may be driven by a desire to hurt you in the same way they have been hurt, to bring you down and cause you pain in the same ways they have experienced it. If you are with someone who is driven to cause hurt because of self-dislike—and you want to stay with them—they must get help for their own issues.
There can be many different reasons. Sometimes, we become more emotional when we go through difficult or stressful times. Recent bereavement, trauma, and stress can make us feel more emotional. Some people tend to be emotionally sensitive because it's a part of their personality.
Why hurting others helps us feel safe. When we hurt someone for no reason, it's because we fear rejection or disconnection from that person. We hope that, by lashing out, they'll show us more love, attention or understanding. As a result, we'll feel 'safer' in the relationship.
Someone who gets pleasure from hurting or humiliating others is a sadist. Sadists feel other people's pain more than is normal. And they enjoy it. At least, they do until it is over, when they may. The popular imagination associates sadism with torturers and murderers.
Briefly describe what happened that felt hurtful or disrespectful. Say, “When I was talking, you (said or did this).” Don't go into a long story about what occurred or try to soften the blow by saying you know they didn't mean to be offensive. One sentence that describes your experience of their behavior is enough.
Highly sensitive people may be more affected by certain situations such as tension, violence, and conflict, which may lead them to avoid things that make them feel uncomfortable. You might be highly touched by beauty or emotionality. Highly sensitive people tend to feel deeply moved by the beauty they see around them.
“People who are emotionally sensitive tend to personalize, blame, and be self-critical, and judgmental,” says Dr. Yip. “They can often have a lot of social anxiety about being perceived in a negative light.” Because of this, she explains that highly-sensitive people often feel hurt emotionally.
The best revenge is to learn to forgive, not to hold onto the anger inside. To forgive means to be free.
In fact, intentionally ignoring someone or giving them the silent treatment can be extremely hurtful. If the person who hurt you is a friend, loved one, significant other, or coworker, communicating with them about how you feel and discussing ways to deal with the problem is usually a better option.
Paranoia. This is an accumulation of thoughts and beliefs that everyone is against you. Paranoia can be a disorder in itself, but it's also a symptom of other mood or personality disorders. Cognitive distortions.
Anger is a secondary emotion
Typically, we experience a primary emotion like fear, loss, or sadness first. Because these emotions create feelings of vulnerability and loss of control, they make us uncomfortable. One way of attempting to deal with these feelings is by subconsciously shifting into anger.
You may hurt the one you love the most simply because they are the ones that are mostly around. Our emotions, thoughts and behaviours are in constant interplay. If we have a negative mood, we are therefore more likely to act in ways that match our emotional state or get triggered by innocuous and harmless stimuli.
Can we really 'absorb' other people's energy? It's possible. Everyone adopts other people's emotions or moods from time to time. If this happens constantly, though, you might have an inherited personality trait called sensory processing sensitivity (SPS).
HSPs are known to be highly observant, intuitive, thoughtful, compassionate, empathetic, conscientious, loyal, and creative. In fact, managers consistently rate people with higher sensitivity as their top contributors.
Sensitivity is often seen as a sign of weakness in our culture, especially when a sensitive person experiences too much stress. We can easily become overwhelmed by too much sensory input, doing too much and ignoring our limits or just by being surrounded by too many people.
Most highly sensitive people display rare strengths in key areas of emotional intelligence, also known as emotional quotient (EQ) — the ability to recognize and understand emotions in themselves and others. These strengths including self-awareness and social-awareness.
1. Jealousy. The dictionary defines jealousy as "feelings of worry over the potential loss of something valuable." In business, experiencing jealousy is fairly common, but those feelings are amplified if you're a highly sensitive person.
Someone who knows how to have an authentic connection — they like deep conversations about feelings, emotions, and aspirations. Superficial relationships made up of small talk hold no value to highly sensitive people.
It's okay to hurt and it's okay to tell someone they hurt you. You want to honor your feelings knowing it's natural and normal to feel hurt and angry too! Remember to respect yourself!