Narcissists take everything so personally because underneath their grandiose bravado lurks profound self-loathing—they need to be shored up by constant external praise. Their fuel is admiration, and they need you to reflect their magnificence because they truly don't feel it themselves.
They Face a Setback, Disappointment, or Conflict
A narcissist can become easily enraged if a setback occurs in their life, job, or relationship. Not getting their way results in both a loss of control and a bruised ego.
This manipulation is often done to get something that they want from a relationship, to make themselves look good, or to fulfill their narcissistic supply. This can include emotional abuse, gaslighting, and many others. These manipulation tactics can be discrete, or they can sometimes be blatant and obvious.
Narcissists Will Use Any Means Necessary to Get What They Feel They're Entitled To. Narcissistic controlling behavior occurs because they feel they're entitled to get whatever they want through whatever means necessary. Therefore, they tend to endlessly badger you with opinions, questions, and demands.
Grooming a person, manipulating her into doubting her feelings, generating shame regarding her best qualities, and manipulatively creating dependency are four ways a narcissist destroys a person from the inside out.
They lack empathy and the ability to see you as a separate human being. Rather than wanting a relationship for sentimental reasons, they're out for themselves, looking for access to resources, such as sex, money, information, status, or love.
A monumental weakness in the narcissist is the failure to look internally and flesh out what needs to be worked on. Then, of course, the next step is to spend time improving. The narcissist sabotages any possibility of looking deep within.
According to Julie L. Hall, author of “The Narcissist in Your Life: Recognizing the Patterns and Learning to Break Free,” narcissists become more extreme versions of their worst selves as they age, which includes becoming more desperate, deluded, paranoid, angry, abusive, and isolated.
Although narcissists act superior, entitled and boastful, underneath their larger-than-life facade lies their greatest fear: That they are ordinary. For narcissists, attention is like oxygen. Narcissists believe only special people get attention.
Type As can also be dangerous to narcissists
Although they can be targeted, type A people can also become a narcissist's worst nightmare. One of the most important defenses against dark personalities is having strong boundaries yourself, and type A people are usually aware they have the right to build them.
“This happens when, again, there's such an inflated view of the self that you're not able to process and respect the needs, wants, and feelings of others,” says Dr. Hoffman. This lack of empathy in narcissists is what makes their behaviors so inherently hurtful, whether they're “trying” to be hurtful or not.
“To what extent do you agree with this statement: 'I am a narcissist.'” Scientists believe that this question could be all researchers need to make a quick and easy diagnosis of narcissism.
They demand respect, and give none in return. For a narcissist, their needs must always be put first, and they will never reciprocate those feelings for anyone else. The world revolves around them, and everyone who happens to be part of that world should go along with it.
They will often deploy a variety of narcissistic relationship patterns such as manipulation, charismatic, and exploitational tactics in order to ensure that their own needs and wants are met. As a spouse, you may be the subject of their manipulation and abuse, while your partner treats everyone else positively.
The four stages of the narcissistic abuse cycle are: Idealization, Devaluation, Repetition, and Discard. In this cycle, a narcissistic partner may love-bomb you, devalue your sense of self over time, repeat the pattern, and eventually, discard you and/or the relationship.
React with empathy and respect.
A narcissist thrives on conflict, and will take control of the conversation as soon as you get defensive or try to fight back. Instead, you can take control by making empathetic statements about the situation, which will help the narcissist calm down.
They have the courage to takes risks and the resilience to bounce back from perceived failures. The narcissistic traits act as a buffer to life's stressors and keep them motivated for change. Failures are not viewed as setbacks, but as ways to re-evaluate what didn't work and to take a new approach.
At the end of a relationship, narcissists may become combative, passive-aggressive, hostile, and even more controlling. People with NPD often fail to understand other people's needs and values. They are hyper focused on their egos, but do not account for how their actions affect others.
New research found the personality trait can also lead to people feeling less stressed and being less vulnerable to depression than others. Narcissistic personality disorder is characterised by a person believing there are special reasons that make them different, better or more deserving than others.
Most narcissists will view being blocked as an act of aggression. A blocked narcissist won't have any ability to silence or control you, which is very important for them. This is highly likely to be an overwhelming and scary feeling for them.
Narcissists Will Eventually End Up Friendless and Unpopular, Study Confirms.
The narcissist often engages in self-defeating and self-destructive behaviours.