They're just concerned about their ex's mental health and safety. The thing is, being obsessed with an ex's safety and health is not normal in any way, shape, or form. If someone displays an obsessive “concern” for an ex's wellbeing, this is a major Red Flag that they are a narcissist with ulterior motives.
"The central motivator for narcissists is validation," she explains. "And an ex is often a really interesting place to get it... They constantly need that fresh narcissistic supply, and they kind of know what an ex's supply is like."
Do Narcissists Miss Their Exes? Yes, but not for the same reasons the average person misses their ex-lover. As mentioned, narcissists only get involved in a relationship if there's narcissistic supply available, if not, they're not interested.
Narcissists live with an unquenchable thirst for attention and affection and use underhanded tactics to achieve their goals. Talking trash about ex-partners to gain pity and sympathy is common. Plus, they use cautionary tales about their “horrible” exes to groom new partners.
Reality Check 101. It's true: Your narcissistic ex will remember you but not — never — in the way you hope they will, as the “great love of their life”. Most of the time they won't even think about you and you know why: They're too busy spinning their web to snare the next unsuspecting spider.
People with high levels of narcissistic admiration experienced less anxiety and sadness after a breakup and maintained positive perceptions of their exes. They were also more likely to initiate a breakup and attribute it to their lack of interest in their ex.
At the end of a relationship, a narcissist will often spiral down a long-winded gauntlet of manipulation tactics. They may blame you for causing the relationship to fail, work hard to keep you to stay with them, make lofty promises to change their behavior, or badmouth you to everyone around them.
Narcissists can never really love anyone.
That's why it's important to remember that no matter how happy and loved-up they look with their new partner, it's only a matter of time before they start being belittled and insulted too. Narcissists can never really love anyone.
Unfortunately, narcissists are unable to put the happiness of anyone else ahead of their own. Nor can they offer unconditional love to another due to their own obsession with status and achievement. One of the narcissistic traits that makes it so hard for narcissists to love another is their lack of empathy.
Narcissists are misogynists. They hold women in contempt, they loathe and fear them. They seek to torment and frustrate them (either by debasing them sexually – or by withholding sex from them). They harbor ambiguous feelings towards the sexual act.
Narcissists want to stay friends because they feel entitled to using you as a source of narcissistic supply as long as they see fit. If you allow them to remain in your life as one of your friends, they will be able to use a variety of narcissistic behavior patterns to turn you into a source of narcissistic supply.
By remaining friends with their exes, narcissists get to keep all of their former partners on a carousel of convenience: they can create a harem of people to use for sex, money, praise, attention or whatever else they desire, at any time.
Hence, it is clear that a narcissist rebound relationship may last only a few months. Some break up after a short fling of two to three weeks, while others end the relationship after the sweet initial phase ends in just a few months.
Narcissists are clingy and they might feel jealous, sad, and hurt that you're with someone else. Nothing hurts them more than knowing that you don't care anymore and they have no more control over you. Seeing that you're happy with someone else is like salt to their wounds.
Simply put, anything that jeopardizes their basic needs for superiority can quickly irritate them. If you want to know how to infuriate a narcissist, you can look no further than giving them nothing. But you can also stand up for yourself, set boundaries, and refuse their gaslighting strategies.
If a narcissist is interested in you, you might notice that they shower you with admiration and attention shortly after you meet them. They might be quick to say “I love you,” put you on a pedestal, and make grand romantic gestures.
Many won't let you go, even when they are the ones who left the relationship, and even when they're with a new partner. They won't accept “no.” They hoover in an attempt to rekindle the relationship or stay friends after a breakup or divorce.
Narcissists hate losing their supply, so they won't let you go easily. Prepare for them to promise "to change." They might suddenly start doing things for you that you'd been complaining about. They may say "you'll be lost without me," or "you'll never find someone like me." Don't listen, Orloff advises.
They will never truly be happy because they don't have the emotional capacity for it. They can only play games and try to put others down. Show them you're living your best life without them, and they'll experience their own version of heartbreak.
Narcissistic collapse happens when a person with narcissistic personality disorder experiences a failure, humiliation, or other blow to their secretly fragile self-esteem. Depending on the type of narcissist, collapse may look different and happen more frequently.