One of the most common reasons that narcissists give for breaking up with their partner is that they feel like they are not good enough for them or they don't want to hurt them by staying together. Narcissists can make you doubt your self-worth and make you believe anything they tell you.
A toxic relationship with a narcissist can damage your self-esteem, affect other relationships, and harm your mental and physical health. One of the patterns in a relationship with a narcissist involves frequent breakups, after which a narcissist comes back and starts the whole cycle of abuse again.
The relationship cycle typical of extreme narcissistic abuse generally follows a pattern. Individuals in emotionally abusive relationships experience a dizzying whirlwind that includes three stages: idealization, devaluing, and discarding.
Now that the narcissist sees the relationship as broken, damaged, and ending—it's all your fault. They say you're too fat or too needy or too happy. You have wrecked things, destroyed the trust, ruined the best thing you ever had, crushed their love. You're unappreciative of all they have done for you.
But as clinical psychologist Dr. Ramani Durvasula points out, narcissists often have a habit of staying in contact with their exes in a way that is solely about their own needs. "The central motivator for narcissists is validation," she explains. "And an ex is often a really interesting place to get it...
The cerebral cortex has also been found to be less developed in narcissists and this area is responsible for memory, emotions and behaviour. Therefore the narcissist seems to move on so fast because their emotions are not as deep as ours but also, they don't form memories in the same way the rest of us do.
It is common for people with a narcissistic personality disorder to regret discarding or losing someone, but it does not mean what you might think. If they feel regret, it is not because they hurt you. It is for losing something that they value.
They WILL move on quickly because narcissists tend to view other people (including their partners) as conveniences — and once you are no longer useful, they will move on.
Narcissists love conflict when they're in control of it. At the end of a relationship when they've grown tired, they'll find the most dramatic way to end it. Often they'll use the fight to force your hand into breaking up with them.
How Did Narcissists Feel About the Breakup? Both narcissistic admiration and narcissistic rivalry were related to feeling more anger right after the breakup. This is consistent with the tendency for narcissists to be especially hostile when they're rejected.
By remaining friends with their exes, narcissists get to keep all of their former partners on a carousel of convenience: they can create a harem of people to use for sex, money, praise, attention or whatever else they desire, at any time.
While people with narcissism aren't devoid of emotions, their motivations may be self-focused. They can know they're hurting your feelings, but as long as it elevates their status, they may not care. Someone living with narcissism does cry. They can feel regret, remorse, and sadness.
A tactic that narcissists will often use once they realize that they've lost control over you is self-victimization. When a narcissist victimizes themselves it means that they label themselves as victims and blame their problems on external factors.
However, as time passes, the narcissist instinctively and subconsciously realizes that his partner has something he or she does not. Due to a narcissist's lack of self-awareness and inability to extend authentic empathy, he or she feels threatened by someone who possesses something he or she does not understand.
Narcissistic relationships can last anywhere from a few days or weeks to many years. There are anecdotal observations suggesting that the average length of a narcissistic relationship is around six months, but no empirical evidence supports this claim.
Can a Narcissist Ever Be Happy in a Relationship? While it may be possible for a narcissist to develop feelings of love towards someone else, they struggle to maintain lasting relationships due to their lack of empathy and tendency towards selfishness.
Narcissists are attracted to certain types of people. Rather than weak, vulnerable people, they tend to go for the strong-willed and talented. They are also attracted to people who reflect well on themselves.
Narcissistic collapse occurs when a narcissist's ability to uphold their grandiose, confident image is threatened. As a result, they often become enraged, resulting in impulsivity, intense lashing out, or harm to others.
Breakups with narcissists don't always end the relationship. Many won't let you go, even when they are the ones who left the relationship, and even when they're with a new partner. They won't accept “no.” They hoover in an attempt to rekindle the relationship or stay friends after a breakup or divorce.
There are early sometimes subtle signs the narcissist may be finished with you and more obvious absolute signals. The narcissist often ignores what you say almost as if you never spoke. The narcissist stops texting back to you or delays for days. The narcissist does not make eye contact with you.
Narcissists usually never willingly give up power. Sometimes they would rather destroy their own companies with the attitude of “if I can't have it, no one can.” It doesn't matter that it will ultimately hurt them the most. Many times legal action must be taken to have a narcissist in power removed.
Sometimes they'll find a new source, but often they'll come back to you. Do Narcissists come back after dumping you? Yes! They most often come back after ending the relationship if there is still enough supply for them.
The prospect of leaving may equate to a feeling of being truly alone; Fear of reprisals – The narcissist may have created a culture of fear and anxiety in their partner's life. Emotional, physical or sexual abuse may be present.
For a person who is narcissistic, their self-esteem is often tied to your relationship with them. When they see that you have moved on and are now dating someone else, they will feel jealous and threatened.