Why Am I So Mean For No Reason? There are various reasons why you may feel that you're engaging in mean or rude behavior, even if they're not immediately apparent to you. For example, an underlying mental health condition, a lack of social skills, cultural differences, or low self-esteem could all be potential causes.
Anger is usually the reason why people say hurtful things. Before you dissect those verbal attacks, or analyze the 'whys' and 'wherefores' of the negative behavior, it is best to understand where those words are coming from. Ninety-nine percent of the time, they are the manifestations of an intense emotion – anger.
Often, people will utter hurtful words to others with no motive. Or, their motive could be simply to relieve their own pain. Remaining silent or strong-willed can be hard to do when one is taken by surprise by hurtful words.
Often well-meaning people say hurtful things because they're at a loss for words. Not knowing the right thing to say, they may turn to canned statements, like “don't worry about it” or “you'll be fine”—the kinds of statements that tend to be least helpful in difficult times.
Dr. Stern says that an occasional meltdown is completely normal. “You may suddenly burst into tears or lash out with anger because you feel out of control, overwhelmed with pressures and things in your life that are unpredictable. That doesn't mean something is 'wrong' with you,” she says.
Key points. Often, people will utter hurtful words to others with no motive. Or, their motive could be simply to relieve their own pain. Remaining silent or strong-willed can be hard to do when one is taken by surprise by hurtful words.
Words are powerful weapons and can do a lot of damage. “ You're *#@! % stupid. ” “ I wish you were never born. ” “ No one is ever going to love you, you're so *#@! % fat and ugly. ” “ You never get anything right. ” “ You're worthless. ” These are mean and degrading things to say to someone.
With words, we have something to direct our emotions toward. The words tend to make things immediately personal. When we take things personal, we feel everything deeper. It feels like our inner self is being attacked.
With their body and mind overwhelmed with worry, the person can feel stressed and depleted of energy. This can make it difficult for them to shrug off or ignore things as they normally would be able to do. In turn, this can cause them to become more irritable and anger quicker.
Although anxiety disorders are typically characterized by social withdrawal, inhibition and shyness, and discomfort in social expression, individuals with anxiety disorders often express intense and out of proportion anger and aggression [7; 8].
Sometimes, physiological processes, such as hunger, chronic pain, fear, or panic can also provoke anger for no apparent reason. Anger can also be a symptom of a mental health issue, such as bipolar disorder, mood disorder, or neurosis.
Acknowledge the offense.
Take responsibility for the offense, whether it was a physical or psychological harm, and confirm that your behavior was not acceptable. Avoid using vague or evasive language, or wording an apology in a way that minimizes the offense or questions whether the victim was really hurt.
It's a way for narcissists to avoid responsibility for their behavior and make their victims feel like they deserve everything bad that happens to them because of something they did wrong.
Can words cause trauma? Words can make you feel better, but they can also cause hurt. A 2019 study of college students found that verbal abuse from peers had real-life effects on daily life. Some people experienced a fear of being assertive and had trouble remembering appointments and obligations.
Words can hurt. They can add to anxiety or depression if you are already prone to it, and can leave you feeling frustrated, rejected, embarrassed, discouraged, or just plain miserable. Holding onto anger, resentment or hurt can affect your mental health.
Positive words encourage cognitive brain function, while negative words activate our fight-or-flight response, which slows cognitive function. They say: 'a single word has the power to influence the expression of genes that regulate physical and emotional stress. '
Humans typically do things to get pleasure or avoid pain. For most of us, hurting others causes us to feel their pain. And we don't like this feeling. This suggests two reasons people may harm the harmless – either they don't feel the others' pain or they enjoy feeling the others' pain.
You may be experiencing issues with anger management if you: Are hurting others either verbally or physically. Always find yourself feeling angry. Feel that your anger is out of control.
This disorder is the manifestation of impulsive and explosive anger; it is a lack of impulse control, which results in aggressive behavior, serious assaults, or the destruction of property.
Dysfunctional anger can be destructive, out of proportion, and inappropriate to the circumstances. Often, it is unnecessary and harmful to others. An anger management problem also arises when we get angry too often, even if we only upset ourselves.
It also suggests that the anger of adult ADHD may begin in childhood. Some reasons why ADHD may make a person angry include: Poor impulse control : ADHD affects executive function, which is the brain's ability to regulate emotions, plan activities, and control impulses.
Overview. Intermittent explosive disorder involves repeated, sudden episodes of impulsive, aggressive, violent behavior or angry verbal outbursts in which you react grossly out of proportion to the situation.