Sometimes, couples are unhappy because they feel bored in a relationship, or because both partners have lost the physical spark they used to have. At other times, there may be extreme jealousy present in the relationship, or perhaps a severe case of emotional manipulation.
It's perfectly normal to be unhappy in a relationship from time to time. But if there's a noticeable uptick in the frequency and duration of your feelings—so much so that your lives are more parallel than interwoven or you constantly prioritize friends over your partner—that could be an indication of a serious shift.
Common Signs You May Be Feeling Unhappy In Your Relationship
You look for excuses not to see your partner. You feel the urge to be with someone else. You feel you would be happier living a different life. You are not attracted to your partner anymore.
It's normal to be unhappy in a relationship from time to time, even in relationships that are healthy and loving. According to Zimmerman, we won't be happy 100% of the time in any part of our lives, relationships included.
If you are unhappy in your relationship, you need to identify the issues that are bothering you, discuss them with your partner, and work together to find solutions. If you feel like you need help, you can seek support from loved ones, or start going to a therapist or couples counselor.
In some cases, your sudden loss of interest in your partner could be the result of your discovering you both have different values or goals. When you feel this way, you may want to talk to your partner about it and think about whether or not you still want to stay in a relationship with them.
“A relationship red flag is something that is considered a deal breaker or a non-negotiable for a person, that doesn't necessarily have to do with their individual preferences, but more so with the character, behavior, and emotional maturity and availability in the relationship,” Dr. Christie Kederian, a relationship ...
When your focus is on the time and energy you've invested in an endeavor rather than the love, joy and gratification you've gained, you're probably settling. When you're making excuses about why you should stay put rather than going for what you truly want, you're probably settling.
When two people have at least a few common interests—hobbies and activities they can enjoy together—it's a strong indicator of a relationship worth saving. This is especially true if those interests involve an important area of life for one or (preferably) both people.
Here are some signs that your relationship is making you depressed: You feel tired, bored and unfulfilled when you are together. The relationship makes you feel bad about yourself. You don't feel safe when you are with your partner.
Falling out of love can be a very scary feeling. It might feel like having noticeably less interest in your partner and feeling less excited about spending time with them, even though you still care about them.
As young adults enter the culminating phase of early adulthood (ages 33–45), they enter the settling down (ages 33–40) stage. By this time, their careers (at least the first one) has been established and a spouse found.
Some signs that you might be growing apart as a couple: Lack of attention: You don't pay attention or listen to each other. Lack of intimacy: This can include a lack of both physical and emotional intimacy. You feel like you don't know your partner anymore or that they don't know you.
Coan advises every couple to adhere to the 70/30 rule: For the happiest, most harmonious relationship, the pro suggests spending 70% of time together, and 30% apart. That gives each of you enough freedom to explore your own interests while still being rooted and invested in your relationship.
You feel like you're withdrawing from your partner, or you're not physically responsive to them. You ignore your partner. If you used to ask about their schedule or check-in during workdays but feel like you have lost interest, it could be a sign that things have changed. You don't argue anymore.
Sometimes it stems from not spending enough quality time together. Other times it stems from not speaking each other's love languages. Whatever it is, make it a priority to figure it out and address it immediately. If you're the one feeling disconnected, confront your partner gently.
You've lost interest
Once chatting about these general day-to-day topics no longer interests either of you, it's time to decide whether you've outgrown each another. "In love, you know your relationship is over when you become completely indifferent to them," says Rachel.
Studies have shown that relationships generally end within 3 to 5 months from the day they begin.
Generally speaking, if you're constantly thinking about breaking up with your boyfriend, it's usually a sign that you're not fully happy or satisfied with the relationship.
According to relationship therapist Aimee Hartstein, LCSW, as it turns out, the first year really is the hardest—even if you've already lived together. In fact, it often doesn't matter if you've been together for multiple years, the start of married life is still tricky.
A five-year age gap means the couple is 18% more likely to divorce. That rises to 39% for a 10-year age difference. When the couple has a 20-year age gap, the likelihood of divorce rises to 95%. A 30-year age difference means a whopping 172% chance of divorce.