Finding someone else attractive while in a relationship is an entirely normal phenomenon many people experience. While crushes are more likely to sprout up while you are going through a rough patch with your partner, they can strike at any time.
It is completely normal to have a crush on someone other than your romantic partner. It's natural to find other people attractive, even if you are happy in your current relationship.
"Being attracted to people that are taken or emotionally unavailable can be due to a combination of nature and nurture," Dr. Benjamin Ritter, founder of Live for Yourself Consulting and The Breakup Supplement, tells Elite Daily.
Emophilia is defined by a tendency to fall in love quickly and often, which is associated with rapid romantic involvement. However, questions linger as to how it is different from anxious attachment, which also predicts rapid romantic involvement.
Lithromantic (also known as akoiromantic or apromantic) is a romantic orientation on the Aromantic spectrum. It describes romantic attraction without the desire for reciprocation.
You probably know someone who is Love Avoidant — someone who avoids and fears intimacy. Love avoidance is common for people who suffer from sex or porn addiction. Love Avoidants often are attracted to Love Addicts — people who are fixated with love.
Well, crushing over someone while being in a serious relationship is a form of micro-cheating or emotional infidelity. Psychologists say that micro-cheating is when a relatively smaller act of emotional infidelity is felt with someone outside of a committed relationship.
Examples of micro-cheating behavior
Sharing intimate or personal details with someone outside of the relationship that should be reserved for a partner. Going out of one's way to spend time with someone who is not a partner, particularly if there is a romantic or sexual attraction present.
One question people often ask is: should I tell my partner about the crush? There's no easy answer to this. If you feel it would be necessary to help them understand how you're feeling, then you may need to find a way to do this gently. But be aware there's a high risk that their feelings will be badly hurt.
The same interests and values may also be a powerful way people are drawn to someone. When two people have similar hobbies, goals, or beliefs, it might create a sense of connection and compatibility. Emotional connection is another reason why people may feel drawn to each other.
Why we feel instant attraction to some people, and not others, is affected by lots of different things: mood, hormones and neurotransmitters, how alike we are, the shortage of other partners available, looks, physical excitement, and the proximity of geographical closeness.
Generally speaking, you should want to be around the person you're in love with. "You want to be with them more and get to know them better," says Firstein. Crushes fade and you may get bored after spending time with the same person, but with love, you're never disinterested.
If you have been wondering, “When you feel attracted to someone do they feel it too,” you might be under much stress. Well, the simple answer is, “Yes!” Many times, people can sense when someone is attracted to them. This feeling that exists between two people is frequently referred to as “chemistry” or a “spark.”
Some examples of micro-cheating include: Messaging or texting someone in a flirtatious way. “Liking” or posting a provocative comment on someone's Instagram/Facebook page.
As the visual implies, crossing a line means “stepping outside the bounds of the relationship,” says Earnshaw. Though this behavior can certainly reflect a purposeful step, it's also possible for that step to happen unintentionally, often as a result of lacking communication.
Micro-cheating involves cultivating emotional intimacy with someone outside of the parameters of a current relationship, in a way that could hurt the other party in the relationship. Similar to emotional cheating, there is usually no touching or physical intimacy.
So it's up to you to discuss what does and doesn't constitute infidelity. But generally speaking, having an innocent crush and not physically or emotionally acting on it, isn't cheating.
Takeaway. There are many potential reasons why a person may cheat. There are eight key reasons and motivations for affairs, including low self-esteem, anger, low commitment, lack of love, neglect, sexual desire, need for variety, and circumstances.
It's perfectly normal to still fancy other people, even when you are in a happy relationship,” he explains. “You can be in a relationship with someone and still appreciate a good looking person when you see them. A little fantasy here or there is healthy as long as that's all it is.”
After intimacy deepens, the avoidant partner loses interest in being sexual, in hugging, kissing, and perhaps even holding hands. Some avoidant partners will seem to actively limit physical proximity, such as sitting closely together on a couch where contact may be possible.
Love avoidants are often narcissistic, self-important and self-involved.
Avoidant partners may fail to acknowledge your feelings or rarely express their own emotions. They may not know how to handle emotional conversations or issues. If you have an emotional response, they may tell you it makes no sense or try to reason you out of your feelings. They may call you too sensitive.