Part of what makes an affair's relationship work is the secrecy and excitement of keeping it a secret. Once the betrayed spouse finds out, the affair loses a lot of its appeal. The new partner doesn't seem as enticing when it isn't a secret anymore. So, affairs usually fizzle out after the affair find the light of day.
Do Affairs Last? Relationships that begin with an affair don't usually last. This is often due to the foundation of the relationship being one of poor faith. Those in the relationship who started from an affair may eventually feel less satisfied, less invested, and less committed to the happiness of the other person.
The statistics show most affairs will run its course and will (usually) fizzle out within 6-24 months, no matter how unique the affair partners think their relationship is. So, after much research, counseling, and reading everything I could about affairs, I came to learn there are primarily 4 stages to most affairs.
How Many Couples Stay Together After an Affair? In one study, researchers found that with instances of secret infidelity, only about 20% of couples were still married after 5 years. However, for couples who revealed infidelity, that percentage jumped to 57%.
An affair can become long-lasting love when both parties are in love and are ready to do right by each other. This often happens when the person being cheated with seems to outperform the present partner. You might get confused if you are really in love or not.
Cheating rarely ends well. Only 5% to 7% of affairs result in a marriage—and roughly 75% of the unions that started as affairs end as divorces.
In happy relationships, someone might cheat—not because they are dissatisfied with their partner—but, because they are dissatisfied with themselves. It's easy for people to get caught between the questions “What do I want?” and “What does everyone else want from me?”
How long extramarital affairs last varies: about 50% may last between the period of one month to a year affair, long term affairs may last long-term, for about 15 months or more, and about 30% of affairs last about two years and beyond. Some even last for a lifetime.
Research in the field of infidelity reveals that there are three distinct personality types correlated with a higher likelihood of cheating: sociopaths, narcissists, and lonely hearts.
The most important thing to remember is what cheating says about a person. They're insecure, impulsive, selfish, and immature. Sometimes, it's a chronic problem that likely won't ever be fixed, just be sure not to ignore the warning signs.
Some of the reasons cited as the cause for cheating may include: Unhappiness/Dissatisfaction: Dissatisfaction with the marriage either emotionally or sexually is common. Marriage is work, and without mutual nurturing couples may grow apart. A sexless marriage is often claimed as a reason for both men and women.
If you're considering staying after infidelity, it's probably because you still love your partner and you want to be with them. And this is perfectly okay! There's nothing wrong with you. You may share life events, children, memories, special moments, etc.
An affair can often be an emotional crutch that distracts a man or woman from dealing with the reality of marital or life problems. Without the affair, they will have to face and deal with whatever it is the affair is distracting them from. Deep feelings of anxiety, worry or jealousy of the affair partner.
In fact, the study, which looked at data from the General Social Survey in the U.S., found that 20 per cent of married people over the age of 55 have engaged in extramarital sex, while only 14 per cent of couples under 55 are said to have cheated. Those in their 50s and 60s, however, were the most likely to cheat.
Damaged self-esteem. Overthinking about the repercussions of an extramarital affair can be extremely damaging to one's mental health. One might end up seeing themselves as a culprit and take the blame for everything going wrong. This thought process causes a blow to self-esteem.
Infidelity has become so common that some studies indicate that 20% to 40% of heterosexual married men and 20% to 25% of heterosexual married women will engage in an extramarital affair at some point in their lives.
When you put the data together, about 15-20% of married couples cheat. The rate of cheating increases with age for both married men and married women. In a study titled America's Generation Gap in Extramarital Affairs, 20% of older couples noted that they had cheated during their marriage.
Poor self control, selfishness, anger, boredom, and attention-seeking are the most common reasons a person is unfaithful in their relationship.
The survey also found out that many people first cheated in the age group of 19 to 29. That is the stage when they are still exploring relationships and their disappointment.
According to the General Social Survey, men are more likely to cheat than women, with 20% of men and 13% of women reporting having sex with someone other than their partner while still married. However, the gender gap varies per age.
However, monogamy is only part of the human reproductive strategy. Infidelity is also widespread. Current studies of American couples indicate that 20 to 40% of heterosexual married men and 20 to 25% of heterosexual married women will also have an extramarital affair during their lifetime.
Here, experts explain this phenomenon and dispel other popular cheating myths. Fact #1: Most men are still in love with their wives when they cheat. Men who cheat haven't fallen out of love; they've become unsatisfied with the current state of it.
There are several countries in which cheating is relatively common. Thailand is an outlier, but it is also at the top of the list. More than half of people in Thailand who are married admit to committing infidelity at least once during the course of the marriage. Then, infidelity is relatively common in Europe.
Infidelity can have lasting impacts on partners and children the couple may have. Grief, brain changes, behaviors down the road, and mental health conditions such as anxiety, chronic stress, and depression can result. Some families have been able to move past infidelity with time and therapy.