A eulogy is a piece of writing which pays tribute to a loved one who has passed away. They are typically written by a close family member and read aloud at a funeral service.
Who Gets to Write a Eulogy? A eulogy is most often written by an immediate family member or loved one of the deceased individual. This person should have spent a lot of time with the deceased and know them better than anybody else. Anybody can be a eulogizer from parents, to friends, to children.
There is no hard and fast rule as to who should give the eulogy speech at a funeral. It's typically given by those who were particularly close, or had a special relationship with, the loved one who passed. It could be a best friend, a spouse, a child or grandchild, or even a co-worker.
Beginning. The opening of the eulogy should set the tone for the speech. This section can include your relationship to the deceased, a reading of a quote or scripture they enjoyed, and their major milestones, like a romantic partnership, becoming a parent, their career, etc.
It's ok to tell a personal story and include yourself to bring it to life, but make sure it focuses on the person who has died and not on you. Don't put words into the person's mouth they wouldn't have said or believed. Don't quote other people without checking they are ok with their words being used in the eulogy.
There should be 3 parts to the eulogy - a beginning, middle, and end. You may also want to add a fourth part, either beginning or ending with a quote or poem relating to the deceased.
How Long Should a Eulogy Be? A eulogy should be two to 10 minutes in length. This does not sound like much time when you're attempting to recap a lifetime of love and accomplishment. Keep in mind that you must respect the time of those in attendance, particularly if the funeral is during working hours.
We find that most eulogies are between five and ten minutes in duration. If you are sharing the eulogy with others aim for around three minutes each. Adjust the content of your remembrance speech to ensure it is not too brief, or too lengthy.
The best eulogies are respectful and solemn, but they also give mourners some comic relief. A bit of roasting is fine if it suits who the person was and the family has a sense of humor. Close your eulogy by directly addressing the person who died, something like “Joe, thank you for teaching me how to be a good father.”
Often a eulogy is given at the wake before the burial service, but also at the funeral service, or even at a special memorial gathering. Many times multiple people will give a eulogy for the person who is being honored.
A eulogy is a speech that celebrates the life of the deceased. Some funerals will have more than one eulogy, and some funerals will have no eulogy at all. Often, the family members that are planning the funeral will request a eulogy from friend or close loved one.
By writing your own eulogy, you can share your true love with those who matter most. We never know when our time will come, but by writing your own eulogy, you'll know that the message will be delivered to those you leave behind.
Write a meaningful eulogy
Eulogies are typically between 5–10 minutes spoken, or about 750–1,000 words written.
Include an appropriate closing.
The best eulogies end with words of comfort and a final goodbye. You might start this section by talking about the lessons the departed taught you and how they impacted your life. Close the eulogy by saying goodbye to your loved one in a heartfelt, meaningful way.
Presenting the Eulogy
Yes, you should read it over several times aloud, but you're going to be reading it. The practice of reading the eulogy aloud is so that you don't stumble on the words and so that you place pauses and emphasis where they belong. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO REHEARSE IT FOR HOURS.
A eulogy can include anecdotes, accomplishments, favorite quotes — any details that help paint a picture of the personality of the deceased. The eulogy you write might include: A brief recounting of their life story.
'My Way' is the song most likely to be played at a funeral according to SunLife's 2021 Cost of Dying report with one in every 25 funerals playing Frank Sinatra's 1969 hit.
Here is a short eulogy example:
The years I spent with Kathy in my life were filled with excitement and adventure. She showed up for life in the biggest way possible. From the moment she shared her cookie with me on the first day of kindergarten, I knew we would be best friends.
How Many People Should Deliver Eulogies. Unless you will be following strict religious customs, the number of speakers at your funeral or memorial service is entirely up to you. One way to determine how many speakers you should have is to think about how long you'd like the service to be.
The speech is ideally given by someone who knew the person well enough to gather and share memories and highlights of his/her life. Sometimes the choice is obvious within the family. There is often one person who seems to be the unofficial family spokesperson.
Try to keep your eulogy to between 1000 and 1300 words. The ideal talking pace is around 120 words per minute; so, a eulogy of these lengths at that pace would take 8 to 10 minutes.