Who Should Initiate the Exclusive Talk? Whoever wants to define the relationship generally initiates the talk. Man or woman or non-binary, older or younger, the person who usually calls first or the one who waits to be asked—those factors don't matter.
If the two of you have been dating for several months, it's probably an ideal time to bring it up. Remember: You deserve to get what you want out of a relationship — exclusivity and all — but your partner's not going to know what you want until you tell them.
If a couple goes on one date a week, that's anywhere from 10 to 12 dates before they establish exclusivity, according to the survey. Say, schedules allow a couple to see each other more than once a week, that means it could even take 24 dates before exclusivity.
If you would genuinely like to keep seeing her but you're also clear that you don't want to be exclusive with her, you can bring up the exclusivity talk like this: Hey, I know we're getting to know each other more. So I wanted to check in with you about the bigger picture of our dating lives.
But the talking stage isn't exclusive to Zoomers. You can find plenty of people shaking their slightly graying heads over the concept of the talking stage on social media every day. “I don't think that this is generationally specific,” Ury says. We're in what she calls a situationship epidemic.
To keep the conversation from starting off with an accusatory tone, ask if he or she is dating other people. "You can say that casually," says Aaron. And then, "if they say they're seeing other people it's totally appropriate to ask if that means they're sleeping with other people."
“The best way to truly learn about another person is to take the time needed to truly get to know them before making a commitment to them.” And while there's no exact right amount of time, she says you should wait anywhere from one to three months before making the relationship exclusive.
An exclusive relationship is all about being monogamous — meaning, you're exclusively committed to one person. You've been dating someone awesome, spending all of your time together, and you realize you don't want to see anyone else. You're ready to make it exclusive!
Explain your hopes for the relationship: “I really like you. I'd love to feel like we're moving forward together. I want to be exclusive.” If your relationship needs to change for you to feel satisfied, let him know: "I don't need this right away, but eventually, I will need exclusivity."
According to a 2015 dating survey conducted by Time Out of 11,000 people worldwide, people decide to go exclusive and stop seeing other people after six dates — which, for many, falls in line with the one- to two-month mark. They officially declare themselves a couple after nine dates, on average.
A sure sign that a relationship is moving too quickly is if you have trouble making decisions without your partner early on. It's not uncommon for people to lose themselves in their relationship, and over time couples find themselves dressing, speaking and even acting in a similar manner.
That's where the so-called “three-date rule” came in — a guideline that says you should go on three dates before sleeping with a new love interest. It's unclear where or how the rule, which was later popularized by “Sex And The City,” originated.
He might be waiting for you to mention something so he doesn't scare you off. If that's not the case then, maybe he's not ready to commit and wants the freedom to see others, but he's enjoying you as his main emotional partner or whatever he's enjoying you as.
If you would like to be exclusive, then tell this new partner that you really like them and you want to see where things go, so you're not going out with or talking to anyone else, then ask whether they are. This isn't a marriage proposal, so it doesn't need to feel monumental.
"Being exclusive means that you are not seeing anyone else or proactively pursuing another person. Exclusive means you aren't in a committed relationship just yet, but that doesn't mean that it couldn't eventually turn into one," Sullivan says.
Dating exclusively means you're not seeing other people but haven't defined the relationship. This phase usually lasts a few months (though it may last up to a year, depending on what you're looking for). During this time, you may start to consider if the two of you are seriously compatible.
Men often think about expressing feelings of love first. On average, it took them 97.3 days to consider saying “I love you,” while it took women just about 138 days to consider saying the words. Men didn't just think about confessing before women. They were also more likely to say “I love you” first.
"Exclusive means you aren't in a committed relationship just yet, but that doesn't mean that it couldn't eventually turn into one." Although some people might be thinking about taking their exclusivity to the next level, others might be content to stay exclusively dating.
He Makes You a Priority
If your guy is serious about the relationship, usually, he will go out of his way to make you a priority. He will plan things with you for the weekend and during the week too. The bottom line is, if he makes you a priority in his life, then you can be rest assured that he's pretty serious.
As a rough rule, two months should be a safe amount of time to broach the subject. But every relationship is different, so if it feels right earlier, go for it. If it doesn't feel right at that stage, there are a few steps you can take to build yourself up for the conversation.
If they're making tons of inappropriate comments, oversharing, or generally pushing emotional intimacy, these are all red flags. Someone who truly wants to get to know you and wants something serious understands familiarity is something you absolutely cannot rush.