Pallbearers are usually close family members and friends. Siblings, adult children, grown grandchildren, nieces and nephews, close friends, and colleagues are all common choices for pallbearers. However, anyone can serve as a pallbearer.
The traditional format regarding the number of pallbearers is 6, primarily due to the length of the standard casket, so that 3 people on either side can conveniently carry the casket. Most caskets have additional handles at each end which will accommodate 2 more bearers.
Participating in a funeral as a pallbearer is a time-honored tradition and a sign of trust. It's both an honor and a responsibility. After all, you have been asked to accompany a dearly loved person to their final resting place, which means the family trusts and values you.
The family usually chooses pallbearers who are close friends and knows the deceased well. If you are chosen to be a pallbearer, you should arrive at the church or funeral home thirty minutes early.
A Pallbearer is traditionally one of the people who will help to carry someone's coffin from the hearse to the funeral venue. In addition, if the deceased is being buried they will continue carrying the coffin to the grave. As a rule, four or six Pallbearers carry or escort a coffin at the funeral.
You don't have to be tall, able-bodied or particularly strong, and the role of bearer is not restricted to any particular gender or age. If you are not able to carry the coffin because of your health or strength, you can still arrange to walk alongside it, putting a hand on the coffin without bearing its weight.
Who Should Serve as Pallbearers? Traditionally, men are seen as pallbearers. But, to answer the question in the title, yes, women do the job as well. This actually depends on the discretion of the family members, or in some instances, based on who will volunteer for the duty.
Opinions differ on whether family members should be asked to be pallbearers. Some people consider it a no-no, while others are fine with including family members. It's possible that immediate family members of the deceased, like siblings or children, may be grieving too deeply to be tasked with this job.
In many funerals, the pallbearers are seated together in a special section of the funeral setting as a group. When most or all of the pallbearers are family members, they may choose to be seated with their family.
If you have been asked to be a pallbearer but do not feel comfortable performing this role, it is perfectly acceptable to decline. There is no shame in admitting that carrying a casket is not something you feel comfortable doing. If you decline, simply thank the family for asking and express your condolences.
Due to this heaviness, pallbearers are typically males over the age of 16. However, women can also serve as pallbearers. Those chosen are often close to the departed or the bereaved family.
If You Haven't Selected Pallbearers
In these instances, you can work with your local funeral home to assign extra employees to help perform this service. You might also work with a local church to find senior church leaders or even youth who would be able to help.
Pallbearers will have to carry the casket with the body inside, so they will have to transport the body's weight and the coffin. 370 to 400 pounds is the final weight that pallbearers will carry if the casket is standard sized, 200 pounds heavy, whereas the adult body is 200 pounds (male) or 170 pounds (female).
Anyone you choose can serve as a pallbearer at your funeral. As pallbearers are the individuals who escort the casket, if there is no casket, or a cremation was planned rather than a burial, there is, in this case, no need for pallbearers and would only be appropriate if there will be a casket present for the service.
Pallbearers need to dress appropriately. Unless the bereaved specify otherwise, men should wear dark, solid suits with white shirts and conservative ties, and women should wear dark pantsuits or dresses.
It is not common to see women carrying the casket, but that is not to say that there is anything wrong with women taking up this honourable duty in a funeral service.
Pallbearers are usually close family members and friends. Siblings, adult children, grown grandchildren, nieces and nephews, close friends, and colleagues are all common choices for pallbearers. However, anyone can serve as a pallbearer.
A pallbearer is one of several participants who help carry the casket at a funeral. They may wear white gloves in order to prevent damaging the casket and to show respect to the deceased person.
The casket is not lowered to the ground by the pallbearers. At the end of the service, the funeral director and staff are in charge of lowering the casket. At the graveside, the role of the pallbearer comes to a close and they sit or stand to join their family and friends.
Usually you'll wear a suit in a black or dark colour. However, less traditional funeral clothing is becoming more popular. So it's best to ask the family or funeral director what the pallbearer dress code is. You'll also want to wear sturdy, comfortable shoes in case you're walking across uneven ground.
Pallbearers typically sit together in one of the first rows on the right. At some funerals, pallbearers sit with their family or friends in the congregation. If this is the case, just make sure that you speak with the funeral director so you understand when you are required to leave your seat to help move the casket.
The six feet under rule for burial may have come from a plague in London in 1665. The Lord Mayor of London ordered all the “graves shall be at least six-foot deep.” The order never said why six feet. Maybe deep enough to keep animals from digging up corpses.
Usually the head end of the coffin is the heaviest, thus the strongest two of your six pallbearers should take the handles at this end.
It is a common practice to cover the legs as there is swelling in the feet and shoes don't fit. As part of funeral care, the body is dressed and preserved, with the prime focus on the face. Post embalming, bodies are often placed without shoes; hence covering the legs is the way to offer a dignified funeral.