The parenting style that is highly supportive but not demanding is the Permissive (or Indulgent) style, characterized by high warmth and responsiveness but low demands for maturity or control, where parents act more like friends, avoid confrontation, and set few rules, though this can lead to issues with self-regulation and authority in children.
Permissive parenting, one of the styles identified by developmental psychologist Diana Baumrind, is characterized by a high level of responsiveness and a low level of demandingness.
Neglectful/ Uninvolved Parenting
Neglectful parenting, sometimes referred to as uninvolved parenting, is characterized by a lack of emotional involvement and supervision. Parents who follow this style may be indifferent to their children's needs and may prioritize their own interests or responsibilities over parenting.
Authoritative parenting, backed by research, emerges as the most effective style. It embodies the harmonious integration of nurturing care and high expectations.
Uninvolved Parenting: Uninvolved parents are low in both responsiveness and demandingness. They provide little emotional support, guidance, or structure, leading to a lack of involvement in their child's life. The most effective parenting style is often authoritative, as it balances warmth and structure.
However, this discussion focuses on 4 main categories—authoritarian, authoritative, permissive, and uninvolved. Each category represents a distinct approach to raising children, although parents often blend characteristics from multiple categories. Parenting styles can also vary depending on the situation.
Permissive Parenting
Parents who are high in support and low in demandingness are likely using the permissive-also called the indulgent-style. Their children tend to rank low in happiness and self-regulation, and are more likely to have problems with authority.
Your strong-willed child needs an authoritative approach.
An authoritative approach means you are assertive, and not intrusive or restrictive. You need to balance your demands and authority by being more responsive to the child's needs, especially the need for self-expression.
Authoritative. Perhaps the most beneficial of Diana Baumrind's parenting styles is Authoritative. This is generally regarded to be the best parenting style as it provides a balance between structure and independence, allowing a child to grow within reasonable boundaries and explore their abilities.
"70/30 parenting" refers to a child custody arrangement where one parent has the child for about 70% of the time (the primary parent) and the other parent has them for 30% (often weekends and some mid-week time), creating a stable "home base" while allowing the non-primary parent significant, meaningful involvement, but it also requires strong communication and coordination to manage schedules, school events, and disagreements effectively.
This form of parenting aims to reduce pressure which can lower stress levels and minimise distressed behaviours such as meltdowns and shutdowns. Low-demand parenting does not mean a hands-off approach in all areas of the child's life.
The authoritarian style of parenting is a combination of low levels of emotional support and high levels of control. Authoritarian parents have a rigid set of absolute standards for child behavior that are strictly enforced, often through physical punishment.
Tiger parenting is a form of strict parenting, whereby parents are highly invested in ensuring their children's success. Specifically, tiger parents push their children to attain high levels of academic achievement or success in high-status extracurricular activities such as music or sports.
The 7-7-7 rule of parenting generally refers to dedicating three daily 7-minute periods of focused, undistracted connection with your child (morning, after school, bedtime) to build strong bonds and make them feel seen and valued. A less common interpretation involves three developmental stages (0-7 years of play, 7-14 years of teaching, 14-21 years of advising), while another offers a stress-relief breathing technique (7-second inhale, hold, exhale).
Authoritarian parents are highly demanding and directive, but not responsive. "They are obedience- and status-oriented, and expect their orders to be obeyed without explanation" (Baumrind, 1991, p. 62). These parents provide well-ordered and structured environments with clearly stated rules.
Helicopter parenting involves being overprotective and overly involved in a child's life, often micromanaging their activities. This parenting style can negatively impact a child's confidence, coping skills, and ability to deal with failure.
Authoritative parenting is the most recommended parenting style. The combination of clear communication and age-appropriate standards can lead to emotionally stable adults who can handle themselves in social situations and set goals for themselves.
If you and your co-parent can handle open, respectful conversations without frequent tension, co-parenting might be a good fit. On the other hand, if communication often leads to arguments or stress, parallel parenting could offer a healthier way to stay involved while keeping interactions minimal.
ANOVAs demonstrated that having (positive) authoritative parents associated with the most favorable outcomes, while having authoritarian parents coincided with the least favorable outcomes. Although less pronounced than for the authoritarian style, having intrusive parents also associated with poorer child outcomes.
Why experts agree authoritative parenting is the most effective style. Studies have found that authoritative parents are more likely to raise confident kids who achieve academic success, have better social skills and are more capable at problem-solving.
The "9-minute rule" in parenting, or the 9-Minute Theory, suggests that focusing on three specific 3-minute windows each day creates significant connection and security for children: the first three minutes after they wake up, the three minutes after they return from school/daycare, and the last three minutes before sleep, emphasizing distraction-free, quality time to boost well-being and reduce parental guilt.
There's no single "hardest" age, but research and parent consensus often point to middle school years (around 12-14) for peaking stress, due to hormonal changes, identity formation, and increased emotional complexity, while some polls highlight age 8 as tough due to early puberty and asserting independence, and others cite toddler years (2-4) for constant supervision and defiance. The hardest age depends on a child's temperament and the parent's style, but the shift from physical toddler needs to complex emotional/social teenage issues creates intense challenges.
Permissive parenting is high in responsiveness but low in demandingness. This means that the parent-child relationship is warm and supportive, but boundaries and expectations aren't particularly clear.
So let's count down parenting mistakes that every parent is bound to make:
Authoritarian Parenting
This approach is all about control and obedience. Authoritarian parents enforce rules without much discussion or warmth. This parenting style takes a “my way or the highway” approach to conversations with kids. Often, parents using this style will punish their kids for misbehaving.