There is no way of knowing when to act, but in this case you're not taking action, you're letting go. The best way to know when to do that is to follow your instinct, and when your time being with and thinking about the person becomes a negative experience, that's probably a good time.
Along with how you act and behave around this person, it's also a good idea to take stock of how they make you feel. Leeds explains that feelings of general discomfort, or feeling drained after spending time with them, indicate that you're better off leaving the relationship.
Letting go doesn't mean the end of a relationship or the abandonment of something you care about — rather, it can be an act of love. By releasing control and allowing someone else freedom in their life, you can create a healthier relationship based on respect and understanding.
According to Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, a Swiss-American psychiatrist that pioneered near-death studies, there are five stages of letting go: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
The process of healing, forgiving, and moving on takes time. You cannot just wake up one fine day and choose to forget what happened to you. Healing takes time, and so you need to give yourself that time. More importantly, there is no timeline for learning how to emotionally detach yourself from someone.
Therefore, a broken heart feels so difficult and painful to deal with. The person often withdraws in their shell and is pushed into depression. A person with a broken heart often has episodes of sobbing, rage, and despair. They may not eat or sleep for days and may also neglect their personal hygiene.
Some data (such as from self-reported surveys) do suggest that men recover from breakups faster than women, according to Paul Hokemeyer, PhD, a marriage and family therapist and author of the book Fragile Power: Why Having Everything Is Never Enough.
When it comes to breakups, we tend to think that women are devastated while men quickly move on. But a new study from researchers at Binghamton University and University College London reveals that breakups actually hit men harder than women.
But men tend to go through some common stages when going through a heartbreak. Initially, they might withdraw from social activities and tend to isolate themselves. They can also become angry and lash out for no apparent reason. As they start to accept it, they might try to win their ex back by any means necessary.
The truth is that it typically takes men longer to get over a breakup than women, Carol says: "It can take some men years—or even decades...if they truly loved her. They just don't show their grief to others—or even to themselves."
While it may feel impossible and certainly takes time to stop loving someone, it's absolutely possible to do just that. In fact, you may find that in no longer loving this person you open yourself up to the possibility of loving others — and even yourself.
Detaching with love helps you release the need to control the outcomes of your loved ones' life. You release expectations for how you think they should behave, or choices you think they should make. You allow them to live autonomously, even if that means they may stumble along the way.
